Goodnight, MMA


(Arguably my lasting contribution to MMA writing)

By Matt Saccaro

This is the last post I’ll ever be making at CagePotato, and this is the last day I’ll ever be tweeting for CagePotato. This is honestly one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. I love CagePotato and I feel so sad leaving, but I’m getting a real media job at a website I adore (assistant social media editor at Salon).

I’m not really sure what to say in a goodbye post. I remember once last year, some Bellator prelim fighter retired. He left his gloves in the ring and friend-of-CagePotato Mike Fagan hilariously buried the guy, comparing this jobber leaving his gloves in the cage to a supermarket clerk leaving his apron in the store parking lot. That’s how I kind of feel with this post. In terms of MMA “journalism,” I didn’t really do anything that spectacular or memorable. I think my lasting contribution to the sport will be asking Ronda Rousey whether she moderated a Pokemon forum in her youth. It’s been three years since I asked and I still see people favoriting that tweet every couple of months.

Still, MMA writing meant a lot to me (even if I didn’t always like the sport or the MMA media) and gave me a direction in life when I didn’t necessarily have one.


(Arguably my lasting contribution to MMA writing.)

By Matt Saccaro

This is the last post I’ll ever be making at CagePotato, and this is the last day I’ll ever be tweeting for CagePotato. This is honestly one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. I love CagePotato and I feel so sad leaving, but I’m getting a real media job at a website I adore (assistant social media editor at Salon).

I’m not really sure what to say in a goodbye post. I remember once last year, some Bellator prelim fighter retired. He left his gloves in the ring and friend-of-CagePotato Mike Fagan hilariously buried the guy, comparing this jobber leaving his gloves in the cage to a supermarket clerk leaving his apron in the store parking lot. That’s how I kind of feel with this post. In terms of MMA “journalism,” I didn’t really do anything that spectacular or memorable. I think my lasting contribution to the sport will be asking Ronda Rousey whether she moderated a Pokemon forum in her youth. It’s been three years since I asked and I still see people favoriting that tweet every couple of months.

Still, MMA writing meant a lot to me (even if I didn’t always like the sport or the MMA media). It gave me a direction in life when I didn’t necessarily have one.

I first got the idea to start writing about MMA when MMAJunkie started their “Sunday Junkie” writing contest. By that time, I had religiously read that site for years. Before class, I’d enjoy a Pop Tart and a glass of iced tea while listening to the rants of Nick Havok and other amazing characters in the comments section. When Junkie started a forum — back when John Morgan was just KingofAbuelos — I was one of the first members. But eventually reading wasn’t enough. I wanted to be more than a forum poster. I submitted an entry to that weekend’s Sunday Junkie and won.

This was October 2010. Senior year of college had just started. I spent most of my spare time submitting applications to graduate schools — I planned to study history and become a professor one day. However, knowing how tough it could be to get into graduate school, I wanted a backup career. Winning the Sunday Junkie made me consider MMA writing (one whose prospects were even worse than graduate study in history!).

By early 2011, I worked up the courage to submit something to Bleacher Report — an article about how Fedor Emelianenko would lose to Bigfoot Silva. Commenters went nuts, but controversy creates cash. After a few more hot takes, I was getting paid.

I started out as a HUGE Zuffa mark, and I mean huge. How bad? I made Ariel Helwani look like Zach fucking Arnold. I didn’t write anything particularly innovative during this time, just the usual “boxing is dead; the UFC will be bigger than the NFL because fighting is in our DNA” garbage except with the volume turned up to 50 out of 10. Eventually, I came around though.

This is already getting too long so I’ll go through the moments I’m most grateful for in my MMA writing “career:”

1. Appearing on Inside MMA in summer 2013. This was right after Chris Weidman beat Anderson Silva the first time. I had some kind of hot take on it and since Axs.tv already had a crew on Long Island to interview Ray Longo, they asked me to go meet their crew in Longo’s gym to do a brief segment with Bas Rutten. This is easily one of my favorite accomplishments/moments in my life.

I remember watching Inside MMA in senior year of high school. I dreamed about being on the show, but as a fighter since I wanted to be a fighter back then. I was horrible at fighting though. I trained in kickboxing throughout my youth and despite 10+ years of it I was barely average. I possessed even fewer MMA and grappling skills. I trained in MMA and BJJ for two years, 4-5 days a week and MAYBE submitted four people in that time frame. Being an idiot and believing what society said, I thought all it took was hard work. So I kept training more and more, expecting to get better by magic when genetics had other plans. Eventually, I over-trained to the point of permanent injury and now I can’t even do a push-up without being in pain.

So I never thought I’d be on Inside MMA when I stopped training in 2010. But I was! And I was so ecstatic about it, even if the show’s reputation had fallen quite a bit by that time.

2. Predicting the rise of Chris Weidman before anyone else. In November 2011, I went on record saying Chris Weidman would murder Anderson Silva should the two ever meet. As Internet commenters say, “First!”

3. Pretty much everything I did at CagePotato. I could write 10,000 words about how much fun I had here. I won’t though. I’ll just tell you what my two favorite posts were: The 95 These of MMA and the Magic the Gathering cards post. The 95 Theses of MMA was born of my own laziness because I didn’t feel like covering two events in the same day — two events I knew would get no traffic. I figured the stunt of not covering the events and instead offering a scathing critique of MMA would perform far better (and it did). Making Magic the Gathering cards of different fighters is an idea I’ve had since high school. I just didn’t know there was a program to make said cards until last year.

And then there’s CagePotato’s twitter account. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun on the Internet than I did live-tweeting MMA events for CagePotato over the last year and a half. I was so amazed/honored/humbled that people actually liked what I had to say about these events and thought the tweets were funny. I’m still heartbroken I’ll never do that again. The few events that I do watch in the future will feel so lonely and sad now…

When I started running CagePotato’s twitter, Ben and I both agreed we wanted it to be different from the other MMA sites. Maybe at times it was too different, but the following increased by over six thousand people. If nothing else, CagePotato’s twitter had a unique voice that I was really proud of. The last thing Ben and I wanted CagePotato’s twitter to be was one in 1,000 identical voices in the MMA sphere: “What a great fight for [winner], but [loser] will be back stronger than ever!”

I’m sad to go, but this is the way it’s gotta be. CagePotato really meant a lot to me. It was the only positive thing during a time in my life when there were very few of them.

I want to thank Ben Goldstein for letting me write here and tweet about elder gods beaming their consciousness into slices of buffalo chicken pizza and other psycho shit every weekend. Funny story: The only time Ben ever really got mad at me was when I wanted to put guy vs. guy Ultimate Surrender videos in our Ultimate Surrender post. I told him gender equality demanded we do that but he remained unconvinced. For real though, outside of the ring girl galleries, Ben Goldstein is the classiest guy in MMA. Working with him has been a dream. Thanks for everything, Ben.

I’d also like to thank the rest of the CagePotato crew, all the readers, and all of CagePotato’s twitter followers. Thanks to anyone who believed in me as well.

Goodnight, MMA. I still can’t believe this is it.

Watch Miguel Torres’ Knee Implode from a Brutal Oblique Kick


(Photo via Getty)

Every fighter goes through a period of decline as they age, but few fighters have had a fall as sharp and devastating as Miguel Torres.

Torres was once a 37-1 WEC bantamweight champion and one of the best pound-for-pound fighters ever (back when that distinction was less of a dubious marketing ploy). Then he hit a huge skid and wound up losing to a Wiki-less Pablo Alfonso in World Series of Fighting via submission in just the first round. The shame of this loss sent him to garbage regional shows with names straight out of EA Sports MMA — “Rebel FC” and “United Combat League.” Torres went 3-0 during this time over tomato cans.

His recent return to the “big time” was a fight against Desmond Green at Titan FC 31 in late 2014. Torres lost in under a minute. After this, Torres decided to try his hand at kickboxing. Last night, he had his pro kickboxing debut against Angel Huerta at Legacy Kickboxing 1 in Houston. The fight, like the last few rotations of the earth around the sun, held nothing but disaster for Torres. Check out the finish after the jump…


(Photo via Getty)

Every fighter goes through a period of decline as they age, but few fighters have had a fall as sharp and devastating as Miguel Torres.

Torres was once a 37-1 WEC bantamweight champion and one of the best pound-for-pound fighters ever (back when that distinction was less of a dubious marketing ploy). Then he hit a huge skid and wound up losing to a Wiki-less Pablo Alfonso in World Series of Fighting via submission in just the first round. The shame of this loss sent him to garbage regional shows with names straight out of EA Sports MMA — “Rebel FC” and “United Combat League.” Torres went 3-0 during this time over tomato cans.

His recent return to the “big time” was a fight against Desmond Green at Titan FC 31 in late 2014. Torres lost in under a minute. After this, Torres decided to try his hand at kickboxing. Last night, he had his pro kickboxing debut against Angel Huerta at Legacy Kickboxing 1 in Houston. The fight, like the last few rotations of the earth around the sun, held nothing but disaster for Torres:

Torres posted the typical MMA fighter “I’m not gonna make any excuses…but here are a bunch of excuses” on his Facebook page following the loss:

No excuses, I came to fight. My head is held high, congrats to my opponent. We were contracted to fight at 135 which is the weight I made but at weigh-ins I found out it was switched to 140 and on one told me. Having to cut an extra 5 pounds from 155 doesn’t seem like much but it is. Walk the walk or sit the fuck down. At rules meeting the kick to the knee was discussed thoroughly. Thanks ref, thank you for everyone who supported me for this fight.

Hopefully Torres can recover from yet another career setback.

UFC Booking Alert: Rory MacDonald vs. Hector Lombard at UFC 186


(Photo via Getty)

Rory MacDonald‘s next fight will be against the resurgent Cuban judoka and former Bellator middleweight champ, Hector Lombard at UFC 186 in Montreal this April. The initial report came from Vendetta Fighter, but was later confirmed by MMA Fighting.

Late last year, Fans and pundits alike thought MacDonald would face the winner of Robbie Lawler vs. Johny Hendricks II. A controversial decision in Lawler’s favor put the brakes on that since it forced the UFC to book a trilogy between the two welterweights.

MacDonald, left without a dancing partner, will face off with one of the top welterweights in the division in Lombard. We like to think UFC matchmaker Joe Silva booked this fight based on both fighters’ terrible nicknames. We’ve got Rory “The Waterboy” “Ares” “The Red King” vs. Hector “Lightning” “Showweather” Lombard. Ugh. How about the loser AND winner take their nicknames out back and shoot them?


(Photo via Getty)

Rory MacDonald‘s next fight will be against the resurgent Cuban judoka and former Bellator middleweight champ, Hector Lombard at UFC 186 in Montreal this April. The initial report came from Vendetta Fighter, but was later confirmed by MMA Fighting.

Late last year, Fans and pundits alike thought MacDonald would face the winner of Robbie Lawler vs. Johny Hendricks II. A controversial decision in Lawler’s favor put the brakes on that since it forced the UFC to book a trilogy between the two welterweights.

MacDonald, left without a dancing partner, will face off with one of the top welterweights in the division in Lombard. We like to think UFC matchmaker Joe Silva booked this fight based on both fighters’ terrible nicknames. We’ve got Rory “The Waterboy” “Ares” “The Red King” MacDonald vs. Hector “Lightning” “Showweather” Lombard. Ugh. How about the loser AND winner take their nicknames out back and shoot them?

Both men are on three-fight winning streaks. MacDonald’s comes over the likes of Tarec Saffiedine, Demian Maia, and Tyron Woodley. Meanwhile, Lombard’s winning streak is comprised over wins over Josh Burkman, Jake Shields, and Nate Marquardt.

Both fighters have momentum and are undoubtedly top guys, but we’re writing this one off as a mismatch right from the start. The first round might be competitive, but MacDonald will pull away and box Lombard’s face off for the second and third round of the fight while Lombard plods, huffs, and puffs.

Then again, we’ve been on the wrong end of fight predictions more times than we can count. So maybe we’ll just stick to posting embarrassing high school photos and Renaissance fair LARPing.

Look at Jon Jones’ High School Yearbook Picture


(“Jon Jones love u…pussy” / Caption and photo via Reddit)

Late last night, someone posted this photo of school-age Jon Jones (sorry, Jonathon Jones) to r/MMA. It’s hard to guess his age from the picture, but he looks pretty young. Maybe he’s a freshman or something? The Redditor who uploaded the photo said this was from a high school yearbook. Are freshman usually included in those? Yearbooks were seniors only in my school. Then again, my school was so poor and shitty that administration regularly canceled the basketball team’s games when it rained because the roof leaked so badly.

Anyway, the Reddit commenters made all the obvious jokes. So We’ll just end this slow-news-weekend post by asking this: Who would’ve thought the smiling teenager would’ve become the most feared and talented fighter known to man? Just think about that. While Fedor and other legends were striking awe into our hearts and terror into the hearts of their opponents, Jon Jones was awkwardly writing “love u” in yearbooks. More food for thought: Some punk 14-year-old out there decked out in TapouT merch (or now Tapout-WWE merch, I guess) is going to beat the shit out of Jon Jones in a few years. Cool to think about, isn’t it?


(“Jon Jones love u…pussy” / Caption and photo via Reddit)

Late last night, someone posted this photo of school-age Jon Jones (sorry, Jonathon Jones) to r/MMA. It’s hard to guess his age from the picture, but he looks pretty young. Maybe he’s a freshman or something? The Redditor who uploaded the photo said this was from a high school yearbook. Are freshman usually included in those? Yearbooks were seniors only in my school. Then again, my school was so poor and shitty that administration regularly canceled the basketball team’s games when it rained because the roof leaked so badly.

Anyway, the Reddit commenters made all the obvious jokes. So We’ll just end this slow-news-weekend post by asking this: Who would’ve thought the smiling teenager would’ve become the most feared and talented fighter known to man? Just think about that. While Fedor and other legends were striking awe into our hearts and terror into the hearts of their opponents, Jon Jones was awkwardly writing “love u” in yearbooks. More food for thought: Some punk 14-year-old out there decked out in TapouT merch (or now Tapout-WWE merch, I guess) is going to beat the shit out of Jon Jones in a few years. Cool to think about, isn’t it?

Wanderlei Silva Buries the Nevada Athletic Commission, Continues Descent Into Irrelevance

Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine earlier this week! You know what that means, right? If you guessed an overhaul of drug testing procedures and increased transparency from the Nevada Athletic Commission and the UFC, you’d be wrong. No, what this significant development in MMA means is another Wanderlei Silva pro wrestling-style shoot promo.

He set his sights on the NAC, bashing them for ruining Jones’ reputation and for being the bumbling, corrupt idiots we all sort of know they are (transcript via MMA Fighting). Read it after the jump.

Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine earlier this week! You know what that means, right? If you guessed an overhaul of drug testing procedures and increased transparency from the Nevada Athletic Commission and the UFC, you’d be wrong. No, what this significant development in MMA means is another Wanderlei Silva pro wrestling-style shoot promo.

He set his sights on the NAC, bashing them for ruining Jones’ reputation and for being the bumbling, corrupt idiots we all sort of know they are (transcript via MMA Fighting):

Let’s analyze what happened to Jon Jones. [The NAC is] saying that test shouldn’t have been done out of competition and that it was an accident. So they went to test him and accidentally tested for cocaine. But now Jon Jones’ champion image is damaged. So what’s the commission going to do about this? They go, ‘ah, we don’t know, we’ll see what’s going to happen.’ Are there laws or are there no laws? Sometimes there are laws and sometimes there are none? There are no protocols to be followed? Where are the laws? Who voted for them? Who implements them? You are lost, you don’t know what you are doing.

Good points. He’d go on to make a few more…

This sport has to be regulated. The way that it’s going can’t continue. This commission is a mess. They don’t know what they are [doing]. You can punish or not? There’s no set punishment, there’s no set testing system. You guys have to be professionals, you ask for fighters to be professionals when you are not. How can you want to put people on trial without laws? Without laws that apply equally to all? Everybody knows the UFC is a business. They put on fights to make money, and in those regards they’re not wrong. But the entity that implements the laws for the athletes, the entity that punishes athletes and controls their lives yet doesn’t know what they’re doing, just can’t be. It’s a commission that doesn’t follow protocols or laws. So you better clean up this mess. Instead of regulating it, you are damaging the sport.

While Silva’s words have truth to them (hell, we agree with pretty much all of them) they sound awfully strange coming from the guy who literally ran away from a piss-cup-carrying commission member.

And Silva has released scathing videos like this before, one on fighter sponsorships and the other on fighter pay. Being a disgraced fighter and habitually releasing scathing videos is putting Silva dangerously close to fringe MMA weirdo territory — think Luke Cummo and Dan Quinn. And once you become one of those guys, there’s no coming back. You’re condemned to signing autographs in third-rate pizza places for all eternity.

We still want to love you, Wandy, you’re just making it harder and harder. So instead of latching onto the popular cause of the minute every few weeks, please figure out how to escape your UFC contract so we can watch you murder professional wrestlers in Bellator.

#TheTimeIsNow — But Only Because of Jon Jones


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

MMA reached its zenith at UFC 182 on Saturday, but if you looked at and listened to the crowd throughout the night you’d have hardly recognized that.

The audience was sparse and half-dead. They’d have done a wave to entertain themselves if the first four fights of the PPV — four decisions featuring unimpressive and sluggish performances — hadn’t already put them to sleep. An incessant stream of “this event sucks” tweets rolled in. This script has played itself out in the past. A card that’s supposed to be the pinnacle of the sport turns out to be a boring, uninteresting, overhyped amalgam of everything wrong with it, only this time we spent an extra $5. It appeared the poor showings, as well as the restless (and partially absent) audience would ruin one of the most anticipated UFC cards in recent memory.

Then Jon Jones fought Daniel Cormier.


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

MMA reached its zenith at UFC 182 on Saturday, but if you looked at and listened to the crowd throughout the night you’d have hardly recognized that.

The audience was sparse and half-dead. They’d have done a wave to entertain themselves if the first four fights of the PPV — four decisions featuring unimpressive and sluggish performances — hadn’t already put them to sleep. An incessant stream of “this event sucks” tweets rolled in. This script has played itself out in the past. A card that’s supposed to be the pinnacle of the sport turns out to be a boring, uninteresting, overhyped amalgam of everything wrong with it, only this time we spent an extra $5. It appeared the poor showings, as well as the restless (and partially absent) audience would ruin one of the most anticipated UFC cards in recent memory.

Then Jon Jones fought Daniel Cormier.

“Domination” and “breaking your opponent” are cliched phrases in MMA, but when fans and pundits originally coined them they had performances like Jon Jones’ in mind. Not only did Jones beat Cormier, he beat Cormier at what he was best at — wrestling…and he made it look easy. Jon Jones took an Olympic wrestler to the mat multiple times just for kicks, broke his will in the later rounds through the same fabled “grind” Cormier was supposed to be the master of, and made him cry at the post-fight press conference.

The in-cage martial artistry isn’t even the best part. That came after the phantasmagoric displays of violence. Jones taunted a dejected Cormier with a “crotch chop” circa late 1990′s WWE. When Joe Rogan conducted a rushed (the PPV was about to hit the end of the allotted time) interview with Jones, the reigning light heavyweight champ chided Cormier’s supporters by telling them to burn their “Break Bones” t-shirts and buy his “Unbroken” t-shirt. Already guffawing (or seething, depending on your alignment) at these antics? There’s MORE. In the post-fight show on Fox Sports 1, Jones continued to bash his defeated foe.

“I hope he’s somewhere crying right now,” Jones said. “I’m sure he is.” He continued on, saying Cormier is the kind of fighter who breaks when fights get tough. Jones also said Cormier is no king of the grind like people thought.

When asked about a possible reconciliation, Jones refused to let up on his verbal onslaught.

“I know if he would have won, he would have been up here, talking all types of trash,” Jones told MMAJunkie. “So I don’t feel sorry for him. This is combat.”

The hashtag #TheTimeIsNow became the butt end of many jokes on MMA Twitter during the last few weeks. The UFC used the hashtag to promote their embarrassing “omg big announcement” press conference where they announced they had no big announcement. People used #TheTimeIsNow to mock the UFC’s recent legal troubles as well as the grim state of their PPV business.

But despite all that has gone wrong — and all that’s still currently going wrong — the UFC was right. The time is now. Not because of CM Punk‘s entry in to the UFC. Not because of the upgrades to Fight Pass. Not because of the complete 2015 schedule. Not because of Brock Lesnar’s rumored return.

The time is now because of Jon Jones.

Jon Jones is the best MMA fighter that any of us will ever see in our lifetimes. You can claim Fedor Emelianenko was the GOAT while clutching your Pride VHS collection, but you’d be wrong. Jon Jones is capable of violence and technique on a level we’ve never seen before, nor will we likely ever see again if MMA continues its current descent in popularity.

In addition to his fighting acumen, Jon Jones posses more personality and emotional magnetism than all the other UFC champions combined. Remember how MMA erupted when Ronda Rousey didn’t shake Miesha Tate’s hand after submitting her at UFC 168? What Jones did to Cormier after UFC 182 makes that look like a bro hug by comparison.

The best part is it’s not a gimmick. Jon Jones doesn’t caricature over-the-top professional wrestling promos from yesteryear. Jon Jones doesn’t exclaim that fighters from less fortunate countries mistake public transit for barnyard animals. Jon Jones breaks people. Jon Jones chokes people out and drops them on the canvas, limp and limbs quivering. Jon Jones makes people cry, then says he’s glad about it. Jon Jones is unabashedly himself. A large percentage of fans hate him for it — just look at the comments on any Jones-related article to see that. Hell, someone even tweeted to CagePotato last night saying they hope somebody shoots Jones. But despite the hate, they pay to see him. Estimates already state UFC 182 achieved over 750k buys. In an age where fighters who draw 400k are considered the company’s top stars, this is almost a miracle.

The time for watching the best MMA fighter of all time and the UFC’s current biggest star is right now. Jones is the light in the current dark age of MMA. Every second of watching Jon Jones display his craft is a gift from a Lovecraftian god of violence. Cherish this gift, even if you don’t like Jones as a person.