(This will teach that animal shelter to let Rousimar Palhares adopt one of their strays.)
Remember the video of that horrifying leg injury we posted earlier this month? Meet the complete opposite of that. In fact, this injury maiming is easily more traumatizing, because the poor bastard, who we will now refer to as…Timmy, had his leg bent in the opposite direction as that other chap.
Ninety degrees in the opposite direction.
You see, Timmy partook in a wrestling tournament a few days ago, and mere seconds into the match, his opponent shot in for a double leg, utterly destroying Tim’s leg in the process. We were told that Timmy’s cries of pain, like the mighty conch that signals the KVWN-TV Channel 4 Evening News team, resonated all the way Williamsburg, Virginia, where Lawrence Taylor, as if under some form of mind control, immediately stood up and applauded in the dirty, empty alleyway he had fallen asleep in.
We would like to thank Timmy for going out on his shield in what was undoubtedly his final wrestling match.
Because Timmy was a good wrestler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors… and wrestling, and as a wrestler he explored the gymnasiums of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Timmy. Timmy, who loved wrestling. And so, Timothy Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the CagePotato video vault, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
-J. Jones