Last Friday’s inevitable showdown between Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock was like watching an episode of Jersey Shore. We all knew it would be a train wreck, but we couldn’t look away. So we watched as a 51-year-old UFC Hall of Famer stepped into the cage against a 41-year-old street fighter turned MMA fighter. Neither […]
Last Friday’s inevitable showdown between Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock was like watching an episode of Jersey Shore. We all knew it would be a train wreck, but we couldn’t look away. So we watched as a 51-year-old UFC Hall of Famer stepped into the cage against a 41-year-old street fighter turned MMA fighter. Neither […]
(Joe Warren: Former Bellator champion, Fight Master Coach, Unconscious Nazi.)
I know, I know, we already agreed to stop caring about Bellator, but hear us out for a second. For reasons that have not yet been divulged, Joe Warren has been deemed medically unfit to compete at tomorrow’s Bellator 98 event. Said Bjorn Rebney:
I’ve been fortunate to work with one of the best commissioners in the sport in Mike Mazzulli, and after carefully reviewing Joe’s medical documents, everyone agreed to err on the side of caution with the goal of ensuring our fighters safety.
It was determined Joe would be unable to compete this Saturday at Mohegan Sun. Joe’s been with us since the beginning and as is the case with every fighter here, it’s incumbent on me to ensure Joe is 100% healthy and medically cleared to fight before he steps into the Bellator cage.
While this is an interesting development in and of itself, it only becomes more intriguing when you consider that Warren was deemed unfit by the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation. As Old Dad said, “It’s not a good sign if an Indian casino won’t clear you to fight,” so let’s use this time to speculate as to why Warren wasn’t cleared to fight, shall we?
Conspiracy Theory #1: Obviously, this is just a transparent ploy by Bellator to move one of their more popular fighters (and the only Fight Master coach currently competing in MMA) to their pay-per-view card in November. Obviously.
(Joe Warren: Former Bellator champion, Fight Master Coach, Unconscious Nazi.)
I know, I know, we already agreed to stop caring about Bellator, but hear us out for a second. For reasons that have not yet been divulged, Joe Warren has been deemed medically unfit to compete at tomorrow’s Bellator 98 event. Said Bjorn Rebney:
I’ve been fortunate to work with one of the best commissioners in the sport in Mike Mazzulli, and after carefully reviewing Joe’s medical documents, everyone agreed to err on the side of caution with the goal of ensuring our fighters safety.
It was determined Joe would be unable to compete this Saturday at Mohegan Sun. Joe’s been with us since the beginning and as is the case with every fighter here, it’s incumbent on me to ensure Joe is 100% healthy and medically cleared to fight before he steps into the Bellator cage.
While this is an interesting development in and of itself, it only becomes more intriguing when you consider that Warren was deemed unfit by the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation. As Old Dad said, “It’s not a good sign if an Indian casino won’t clear you to fight,” so let’s use this time to speculate as to why Warren wasn’t cleared to fight, shall we?
Conspiracy Theory #1: Obviously, this is just a transparent ploy by Bellator to move one of their more popular fighters (and the only Fight Master coach currently competing in MMA) to their pay-per-view card in November. Obviously. The same goes for Joe “Diesel” Riggs, who was forced to pull out of his Fight Master Finals bout with Mike Bronzoulis (also scheduled for Bellator 98) due to an “eye injury.” That photo he posted to prove he wasn’t faking? Obvious shop job.
Conspiracy Theory #2: Joe Warren currently has the testosterone of 30 men (or 1 DREAM-era Alistair Overeem) flowing through his veins.
If you think Warren’s removal from the card could be the result of something other than the options we’ve laid before you (Hint: It isn’t), let us know in the comments section.
When T.J. Grant pulled out of UFC 164’s main event with a concussion and was replaced by Anthony Pettis, the conspiracy theorists came out in full force. Actually, to hear UFC president Dana White tell it, those conspiracy theories started even before Grant was forced form the August 31 fight card, they began when Anthony […]
When T.J. Grant pulled out of UFC 164’s main event with a concussion and was replaced by Anthony Pettis, the conspiracy theorists came out in full force. Actually, to hear UFC president Dana White tell it, those conspiracy theories started even before Grant was forced form the August 31 fight card, they began when Anthony […]
If you’ve been around mixed martial arts for any amount of time, you know that UFC president Dana White is a vocal defender of the sport. Never is he more vocal than when he feels someone or something has besmirched the reputation of the UFC, the organization that he has long been the face (and […]
If you’ve been around mixed martial arts for any amount of time, you know that UFC president Dana White is a vocal defender of the sport. Never is he more vocal than when he feels someone or something has besmirched the reputation of the UFC, the organization that he has long been the face (and […]
(*sniffle*…and then…and then the bad man told me that i would never amount to anything, and that I had a big, stupid face…*begins bawling hysterically*)
Tito Ortizis to conspiracy theories what Wilmer Valderrama is to “Yo Momma” jokes. A fun fact: After slipping on a patch of ice in his driveway and bruising his tailbone as a child, Tito Ortiz convinced himself that the residual water was left behind by an opposing wrestling team in an effort to take him out of the competition. Twenty-some odd years later…crab people. The HAARP Machine? Started by Ortiz to explain his loss to Frank Shamrock at UFC 22. Zeitgeist? A Tito Ortiz production attempting to write off his performance at UFC 44. And don’t even get Tito started on that completely flawed Magic Loogie theory.
Anyways, we haven’t heard much from Tito since he dropped a close decision to longtime rival Forrest Griffin in his retirement fight at UFC 148. Unfortunately, Ortiz recently emerged from hiding to take one final dump on the promotion that made him the man he is today (and a boatload of cash to boot), throwing everyone from Joe Rogan to Dana White under the bus along the way.
Video after the jump.
(*sniffle*…and then…and then the bad man told me that i would never amount to anything, and that I had a big, stupid face…*begins bawling hysterically*)
Tito Ortizis to conspiracy theories what Wilmer Valderrama is to “Yo Momma” jokes. A fun fact: After slipping on a patch of ice in his driveway and bruising his tailbone as a child, Tito Ortiz convinced himself that the residual water was left behind by an opposing wrestling team in an effort to take him out of the competition. Twenty-some odd years later…crab people. The HAARP Machine? Started by Ortiz to explain his loss to Frank Shamrock at UFC 22. Zeitgeist? A Tito Ortiz production attempting to write off his performance at UFC 44. And don’t even get Tito started on that completely flawed Magic Loogie theory.
Anyways, we haven’t heard much from Tito since he dropped a close decision to longtime rival Forrest Griffin in his retirement fight at UFC 148. Unfortunately, Ortiz recently emerged from hiding to take one final dump on the promotion that made him the man he is today (and a boatload of cash to boot), throwing everyone from Joe Rogan to Dana White under the bus along the way.
Video after the jump.
For your entertainment/convenience, we’ve provided a transcript of Ortiz’s latest conspiracy below (starts around the 4:40 mark, via GroundandPoundTV) along with our running commentary:
I thought I won the fight. When you drop a guy twice, when you take a guy down four times and you dominate by doing it…he never took me down, he never hurt me.
Fair enough; you think you won the fight, and you cited a few examples to make your case. So far, so good, although the “he never hurt me” mantra is about as used up as, well…
Go back and watch the fight. For the first time ever in UFC history, they showed strikes attempted. Not strikes landed, strikes attempted. When do you ever show someone with strikes attempted?
He never hit me, I blocked all of them. I checked all of his kicks.
Well that, that is just an outright lie. For proof of this, follow either of the links in the previous paragraph.
And I listen to Joe Rogan and it was like a one-sided fight that he was watching. I gave him shit on the phone one time because of it and when we did the podcast he kind of side-winded around it and never got to those questions. But he said, “Look at the leg kicks that Forrest is hitting him with.” I checked all of them. My shin, I had a chipped bone on the tip of it because I checked all of his kicks.
…and after [Forrest ran] out of the fight, that shows that he lost.
*checking unified rules of mixed martial arts* Nope, it doesn’t. It’s kind of like how the judges don’t pick a winner based on who raises their hands first after a fight either.
…and for Dana to go back and run and get him and to come back, there’s something fishy going on here. How does Dana know how the match is gonna turn out? I thought something was fishy about that. Was it premeditated? Was it pre………….planned out, what the answer was gonna be? If I didn’t knock him out or submit him, they knew who was gonna win. And it’s too bad for my fans.
It bothered me really bad, but I went out the way I wanted to. I went out swinging, I went out on my shield and I held my shield up like no other.
This just in: Tito Ortiz to host a seminar this summer. The topic: Using repetitive metaphors and confusing non-sequiturs to make your point.
Ortiz goes on to make his usual list of post-fight excuses: bum knee, ruptured disks, new injuries that prevented him from training, etc. before stating that “he doesn’t look for excuses.” They sure seem to find him, though.
Perhaps the third time will be the charm for Nick Diaz.
Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.
But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:
“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.
Perhaps the third time will be the charm for Nick Diaz.
Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the ”Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.
But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:
“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.
Later in a lengthy statement, the Diaz camp claimed it will file an official complaint regarding the administration of St-Pierre’s drug test.
“Further serious irregularities including, inter alia, the Quebec Commission’s failure to supervise fighters’ provision of samples in connection with testing for Prohibited Substances and Prohibited Methods (under sections 71.1 to 71.6 of the Regulation), will be set out in an official complaint that will be filed imminently,” the Diaz camp stated.
I hate to be “that guy,” but if Diaz’s camp truly believes that the UFC wanted Nick Diaz to lose and that Quebec’s athletic commission is corrupt, then exactly what will filing a complaint accomplish? Eh, never mind. Let’s continue.
“Section 168 of the Regulation respecting combat sports provides that the maximum weight that a fighter must achieve at the official weigh-in shall be determined in advance by contract – and if the fighter does not make the contracted weight – in this case 170 pounds – then 20% of his purse or “the contestant’s remuneration” will be deducted and paid to his opponent (subsections (7) and (8)). The contracted weight for this fight was 170 pounds. 170.9 is not 170, anywhere in the world, for a title fight. There is no question what “170 pounds” means, in the bout agreement, as a matter of contractual interpretation.
“The Quebec Commission deliberately relaxed the rule in this case and, by its own admission, allowed their home-town fighter to ‘make weight’ even if he weighed more than the contracted weight.”
“In the circumstances, Mr. St-Pierre remains legally and ethically obligated to fight Mr. Diaz at 170 pounds or else vacate the belt in favor of those prepared to fight at welterweight.”
It’s interesting that Nick Diaz is handling this loss like he’s the new BJ Penn, especially considering the way that his camp reacted to BJ Penn’s allegations that Nick Diaz cheated during their encounter at UFC 137. Is Diaz caught in the middle of a massive conspiracy involving a corrupt organization, a shady athletic commission and an evil welterweight kingpin? Perhaps. Or maybe Nick Diaz simply lost a fight against the most dominant welterweight on the planet today. What do you think about this, Potato Nation?
