Sure, Rutten may go off on his own tangents and botch a fighter’s name every now and again, but at least he isn’t force-feeding hackneyed catchphrases like “Goodnight Irene!” or “There is a cut on my anus” down our throats. And even if he was, Rutten’s a goddamn legend and one of the funniest sumbitches to ever strap on the 4 oz. gloves, so he’s earned the right to flub a line every now and again. I watch his street defense videos at least once a week, not just because they offer more plausible self-defense options than, say, smearing shit on yourself to prevent rape, but because they are good for a laugh every. single. time.
In any case, Rutten has decided to upload 1 fight from his illustrious 31 fight career to Youtube each day for the next month, along with his own commentary. From his early days in Pancrase to his brief run as UFC Heavyweight Champion to that time he fought Ruben Villareal for the title of “King of the Streets,” the fights themselves are sure to be only overshadowed by Rutten’s always insightful and hysterical commentary.
We’ve compiled all the videos that Rutten has released so far (along with a couple of our personal favorites) after the jump, so check them out and bask in the greatness of “El Guapo.”
Sure, Rutten may go off on his own tangents and botch a fighter’s name every now and again, but at least he isn’t force-feeding hackneyed catchphrases like “Goodnight Irene!” or “There is a cut on my anus” down our throats. And even if he was, Rutten’s a goddamn legend and one of the funniest sumbitches to ever strap on the 4 oz. gloves, so he’s earned the right to flub a line every now and again. I watch his street defense videos at least once a week, not just because they offer more plausible self-defense options than, say, smearing shit on yourself to prevent rape, but because they are good for a laugh every. single. time.
In any case, Rutten has decided to upload 1 fight from his illustrious 31 fight career to Youtube each day for the next month, along with his own commentary. From his early days in Pancrase to his brief run as UFC Heavyweight Champion to that time he fought Ruben Villareal for the title of “King of the Streets,” the fights themselves are sure to be only overshadowed by Rutten’s always insightful and hysterical commentary.
We’ve compiled all the videos that Rutten has released so far (along with a couple of our personal favorites) after the jump, so check them out and bask in the greatness of “El Guapo.”
Rutten vs. Ryushi Yanagisawa – Pancrase: Yes, We Are Hybrid Wrestlers 1
Rutten vs. Takaku Fuke: Pancrase: Yes, We Are Hybrid Wrestlers 2
Rutten vs. Masakatsu Funaki: Pancrase: Pancrash! 1
Rutten vs. Jason Delucia III: Pancrase: Truth 6
Rutten vs. Funaki II: Pancrase: 1996 Anniversary Show
On August 23, Jordan Mein will return to the Octagon and attempt to take one step closer to reaching his lofty potential by beating Mike Pyle impressively. Mein is one of many young fighters who represent the next wave of talented MMA prospects. A Strikeforce veteran, Mein does have a good amount of experience for […]
On August 23, Jordan Mein will return to the Octagon and attempt to take one step closer to reaching his lofty potential by beating Mike Pyle impressively. Mein is one of many young fighters who represent the next wave of talented MMA prospects. A Strikeforce veteran, Mein does have a good amount of experience for […]
As the quickest-growing mixed martial arts outpost in the world, the UFC is accustomed to weeding out the weak. They’ve been ridiculed in the past for pushing out well-rounded athletes who just can’t seem to finish fights, but for the most part, the promotion has been spot-on with their hiring and firing. However, there is […]
As the quickest-growing mixed martial arts outpost in the world, the UFC is accustomed to weeding out the weak. They’ve been ridiculed in the past for pushing out well-rounded athletes who just can’t seem to finish fights, but for the most part, the promotion has been spot-on with their hiring and firing. However, there is […]
The UFC is home to some of the best fighters in the world. However, it does not possess all of the best talent in mixed martial arts. There are a number of top stars outside the UFC who could easily be in contention if they were in the company. They are housed by such organizations […]
The UFC is home to some of the best fighters in the world. However, it does not possess all of the best talent in mixed martial arts. There are a number of top stars outside the UFC who could easily be in contention if they were in the company. They are housed by such organizations […]
Mixed martial arts is one of the most grueling sports in the world. At its worst, it forces the best fighters on the planet to train for a potentially unpredictable 25-minute war. Planning against both a fighter and the unknown, competitors must push themselves beyond the cusp of comfort in all aspects of the game. Wrestlers […]
Mixed martial arts is one of the most grueling sports in the world. At its worst, it forces the best fighters on the planet to train for a potentially unpredictable 25-minute war. Planning against both a fighter and the unknown, competitors must push themselves beyond the cusp of comfort in all aspects of the game. Wrestlers […]
NOTHING has made me more excited in a long time than hearing a fight date from @seanshelby. Ask him tho-cuz I cnt release it. #comingsoon
Upon reading this, you started scouring the internet and/or harassing Sean Shelby to learn the details of Cruz’s fight, which eventually led you to this ESPN article claiming that Cruz had been booked against Takeya Mizugaki at UFC 178.
This news likely filled you with joy, the kind of sweet, overwhelming joy that all but disabled your ability to think logically. Which is why I’m here to rain on your parade, to piss in your oatmeal. To tell you that Mr. Cruz is setting you up, is setting us all up, for an inevitable downfall. Our hopes of a Dominick Cruz comeback are about to be dashed, so please, let’s all just calm the f*ck down and treat this fight booking with as much trepidation as humanly possible.
(“What’s your name, kid-ACK! Is this photo made from shards of broken glass or something! So much blood! SO MUCH BLOOD!!” Photo via Getty)
NOTHING has made me more excited in a long time than hearing a fight date from @seanshelby. Ask him tho-cuz I cnt release it. #comingsoon
Upon reading this, you started scouring the internet and/or harassing Sean Shelby to learn the details of Cruz’s fight, which eventually led you to this ESPN article claiming that Cruz had been booked against Takeya Mizugaki at UFC 178.
This news likely filled you with joy, the kind of sweet, overwhelming joy that all but disabled your ability to think logically. Which is why I’m here to rain on your parade, to piss in your oatmeal. To tell you that Mr. Cruz is setting you up, is setting us all up, for an inevitable downfall. Our hopes of a Dominick Cruz comeback are about to be dashed, so please, let’s all just calm the f*ck down and treat this fight booking with as much trepidation as humanly possible.
It has been three years since we last saw Cruz compete in the octagon. Three years. Over that period of time, Cruz has been subjected to countless knee surgeries, reinjuries, failed cadaver ligament transplants, and more days spent laid up watching Bar Rescue marathons than he’d probably care to admit (#buttfunnel). Yet not even the world-renowned motivation skills of Jon Taffer have been able to whip Cruz into his old fighting form.
Let us not forget that we’ve been fooled before. Cruz was set to finally defend his title against interim champ Renan Barao at UFC 169 back in February. Remember that? “His knee is fine” we were told. “He’s in the best shape of his life.” And to be fair, Cruz’s knee did hold up. But where the knee is strong, the groin often falters. I believe that’s Plato.
Despite having some of the best footwork in all of MMA, Dominick Cruz was apparently cursed with the legs of an 80 year-old coma patient by the man upstairs, which is why we simply must resist the temptation to start losing our sh*t about his possible return. Because if he isn’t taken out by some freak injury prior to the Mizugaki fight, he surely will be before we’re ever treated to Cruz vs. Faber III, or Cruz vs. Barao, or Cruz vs. Dillashaw. And don’t get me wrong, I’d like nothing more than to see Cruz return to form. But I’ve been burned before, Nation. We all have.
Resist the temptation to hope, Tater Nation. Because hope can drive a MMA fan insane. It’s got no use in our sport, and you all better get used to that idea. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope is a dangerous thing…
