Tag: Funny Shit

Nick Diaz: GSP is on Steroids, The UFC is Covering it Up/Wants Me to Lose, & I May or May Not Pass My Drug Test Saturday


(No Wolf Tickets)

Nick Diaz put on a wonderful show at yesterday’s UFC 158 pre-event press conference. He called Georges St. Pierre a whiny, phony, ‘roided up point-fighter but then basically shrugged his shoulders when asked if he would pass his own drug test Saturday.

In case he was too vague in his accusations of St. Pierre, Diaz clarified and expanded while on the Tim and Sid radio show shortly after the presser. In addition to his allegations of St. Pierre, Diaz decided to throw his employer under the bus as well.

It all started with Nick saying that he believes the UFC wants him to lose to St. Pierre Saturday night. “I would imagine that they do,” he laughed.

As for St. Pierre, Diaz confirmed that the champion was indeed the strong steroids guy that he alluded to during the presser. “I believe that he’s on plenty of steroids,” Diaz casually said before implicating Canadian and UFC officials.


(No Wolf Tickets)

Nick Diaz put on a wonderful show at yesterday’s UFC 158 pre-event press conference. He called Georges St. Pierre a whiny, phony, ‘roided up point-fighter but then basically shrugged his shoulders when asked if he would pass his own drug test Saturday.

In case he was too vague in his accusations of St. Pierre, Diaz clarified and expanded while on the Tim and Sid radio show shortly after the presser. In addition to his allegations of St. Pierre, Diaz decided to throw his employer under the bus as well.

It all started with Nick saying that he believes the UFC wants him to lose to St. Pierre Saturday night. “I would imagine that they do,” he laughed.

As for St. Pierre, Diaz confirmed that the champion was indeed the strong steroids guy that he alluded to during the presser. “I believe that he’s on plenty of steroids,” Diaz casually said before implicating Canadian and UFC officials.

“I don’t think they test around here, I doubt I’ll be tested either [*ed note* We’re betting you will be, now, Nick]. I don’t care what [the UFC is] saying…to the media. I don’t think either one of us is going to be tested. And, if so, he’s probably got a bottle of piss in his pocket. I doubt they are standing over him making sure he’s not on steroids.”

The 209 solider was then asked,”You’re suggesting that the face of the franchise is on steroids and that Dana White is complicit on that?

Nick didn’t hesitate. “Sure, why not?”

And no, Diaz isn’t naive. He knows that the UFC’s President will not be happy with him for saying he’s probably involved in a scheme to break the law and circumvent proper regulation.

“I’m sure [White] will [be mad], but like I said in the press conference…I will always tell you the truth…I will never sell you a handful of wolf tickets.”

You got that, people? No Wolf Tickets, ever, from Nick Diaz. He told you once at the presser, no Wolf Tickets, and he’s telling us again – No. Wolf. Tickets.

I have no idea what Wolf Tickets are. Urban Dictionary claims to, however. So go learn something.

And, just to be clear, Diaz is sure that St. Pierre is using banned substances and will be protected by regulators and the UFC in a fraudulent way, but he has no idea whether or not he himself will pass his own test. You know, on account of the weed.

“Hell no, I’m not guaranteeing anything…if I don’t pass the test, I’m sorry,” Diaz said sarcastically. “But I could probably use another year off, vacation. It’s not like I enjoy this – taking punches to the mouth. I need to feed my family that one day I can acquire.”

So, bring it on UFC and athletic commissions. Diaz is coming off of a year suspension for testing positive for marijuana metabolites but he’ll totally take another year of forced vacation because, you know, maybe he’ll have a family one day.

Saturday can’t come soon enough. Join us at 10 PM EST here for our play-by-play live blog as things finally get serious between Georges and Nick.

One day left to wait, folks. Just one day.

– Elias Cepeda

Quote of the Day: Dana White Says Nick Diaz Chased GSP Around a Hotel in 2011, Presumably to Pick a Fight


(This guy, a bully? Fahgettaboudit.) 

If you think Nick Diaz does what he does only for attention and not just because its part of his innate Stockton charm, then consider a new interview on The Jim Rome Showfrom UFC President Dana White where he detailed what Diaz did out from under the bright lights and cameras. Remember UFC 137, where Diaz called out Georges St. Pierreafter pissing away his title shot against the champion and being forced to beat up his hero BJ Penn?

Turns out that Diaz’s best harassment of St. Pierre came outside of the Octagon.

“Nobody has talked about this, I haven’t said anything about it, but at one of the fights, the one where he really starts calling Georges out, he was chasing Georges around the hotel and like yelling at him,” White told Jim Rome.

“Georges thought he was going to try to fight him in the hotel. He was just waiting for the elevator doors to open and see Nick Diaz…he was really messing with Georges bad at the fight, like trying to fight him at the hotel. That really pissed Georges off.”

For all the wonderful, riotous moments he’s given us in the ring, Diaz’s most violent moments often seem to come outside of it and soon become the things of legend thereafter. What long-time fan of the sport can ever forget the accounts of Diaz starting a brawl with Joe Riggs in the hospital they were taken to after fighting one another at UFC 57?


(This guy, a bully? Fahgettaboudit.) 

If you think Nick Diaz does what he does only for attention and not just because its part of his innate Stockton charm, then consider a new interview on The Jim Rome Showfrom UFC President Dana White where he detailed what Diaz did out from under the bright lights and cameras. Remember UFC 137, where Diaz called out Georges St. Pierreafter pissing away his title shot against the champion and being forced to beat up his hero BJ Penn?

Turns out that Diaz’s best harassment of St. Pierre came outside of the Octagon.

“Nobody has talked about this, I haven’t said anything about it, but at one of the fights, the one where he really starts calling Georges out, he was chasing Georges around the hotel and like yelling at him,” White told Jim Rome.

“Georges thought he was going to try to fight him in the hotel. He was just waiting for the elevator doors to open and see Nick Diaz…he was really messing with Georges bad at the fight, like trying to fight him at the hotel. That really pissed Georges off.”

For all the wonderful, riotous moments he’s given us in the ring, Diaz’s most violent moments often seem to come outside of it and soon become the things of legend thereafter. What long-time fan of the sport can ever forget the accounts of Diaz starting a brawl with Joe Riggs in the hospital they were taken to after fighting one another at UFC 57?

White also continued to push the “dark side of GSP” narrative with this story, saying that “When [St. Pierre] was younger he used to get bullied. That’s what got him into martial arts. He just has this crazy thing about bullies and he thinks Nick Diaz is a bully.”

White went on to say that, when he spoke with the champion last week, GSP told him, “‘Dana, you have no idea what I’m going to do to this kid, I wanna make him retire.’”

We rarely recommend that anyone listen to Jim Rome, but to check out all of White’s fascinating interview with him, click here.

…And oh yeah, there were indeed scheduled open workouts in advance of UFC 158 today. Georges St. Pierre showed up for his, Nick Diaz did not.

St. Pierre was not impressed. Neither was White.

Johny Hendricks, however, was ecstatic, we assume. $200 says Hendricks is going to try and lure Nick into a room full of primo bud and lock him in there tomorrow so that Diaz misses the press conference and Johny gets to replace him against St. Pierre.

– Elias Cepeda

Photo of the Day: Ben Henderson’s Mom Earns First BJJ Medal, Officially a BAMF


(Great job, Mom! Now all I have to teach you is how to get your arm bent 90 degrees in the opposite direction without breaking a sweat and you’ll be unstoppable!) 

It is a scientific fact that UFC lightweight champion Benson Henderson has one of the most supportive/adorable MMA moms in the bidness. According to Bendo’s Wikipedia page, his Korean-born mother, Song, was not only responsible for introducing Benson to martial arts through Tae Kwon Do, but is apparently so supportive of her son’s career that she has begun to take some martial arts classes (specifically, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) of her own despite being 50+ years of age.

And if the above picture is any indication, it appears that Song was born to be a fighter as well. Henderson tweeted the above photo this morning with the following words of wisdom:

My mama’s 1st ever #BJJ (any kind of) competition, from this past weekend…this 4’9″, 50+ year old Korean lady inspires the crap outta me everyday…earned herself a standing ovation and bronze medal too…she was nervous as crap but pulled thru like a #Champ


(Great job, Mom! Now all I have to teach you is how to get your arm bent 90 degrees in the opposite direction without breaking a sweat and you’ll be unstoppable!) 

It is a scientific fact that UFC lightweight champion Benson Henderson has one of the most supportive/adorable MMA moms in the bidness. According to Bendo’s Wikipedia page, his Korean-born mother, Song, was not only responsible for introducing Benson to martial arts through Tae Kwon Do, but is apparently so supportive of her son’s career that she has begun to take some martial arts classes (specifically, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) of her own despite being 50+ years of age.

And if the above picture is any indication, it appears that Song was born to be a fighter as well. Henderson tweeted the above photo this morning with the following words of wisdom:

My mama’s 1st ever #BJJ (any kind of) competition, from this past weekend…this 4’9″, 50+ year old Korean lady inspires the crap outta me everyday…earned herself a standing ovation and bronze medal too…she was nervous as crap but pulled thru like a #Champ

After Bendo originally captured the UFC’s lightweight crown, he and Song took a celebratory trip to South Korea where they received a hero’s welcome. It’s good to know that their ability to inspire knows no cultural bounds. One thing’s for sure, this is one senior citizen you sure as hell don’t want to get into a tussle over some marble rye with.

So, Potato Nation, who’s interested in seeing Bendo’s mom take on Keith Jardine’s for the right to be called the baddest MMA mom on the planet?

Speaking of Bendo, check out a video of the lightweight champ picking up a win over Arizona local Christian Broadnax in the 8th Arizona Open Jiu-Jitsu International last weekend below. Like mother, like son.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Scariest BJJ Coach Ever, Wanderlei Silva, Coaches Son to Glorious Victory

Wanderlei Silva Chris Leben UFC 132
(The family who pimps together, stays together.) 

Folks on the mats at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournaments tend to notice whenever a coach is shouting our instructions to their students in Portuguese or even a Portuguese accent. The reason being that it probably means they are from the fighting style’s native country and therefore know certain deadly secrets to convey to their pupils in their mystical coded language.

Or something.

The point is, some times the opposition can get psyched out by the ol’ Romance languages during tournaments. Imagine you’re a coach doing his best to prep a young student for his or her first Jiu Jitsu match and then you hear their opponent’s coach talking to them in Gracie-speak. Now, imagine if said Brazilian coach was Wanderlei Freaking Silva coaching his own son in his first tournament.

That’s just what happened last weekend, as Wandy was recorded…er…recording his son’s very first tournament performance whilst shouting instructions that likely left everyone else’s dad looking for the nearest exit. Fresh off a brutal KO victory of Brian Stann at UFC on FUEL 8, Wandy showed up, head shaved, tribal skull tattoo on full display, but holding a cell phone camera up to his face to capture his son on tape just like any other dad. Check out the video of Silva coaching his son, Thor, after the jump.

Wanderlei Silva Chris Leben UFC 132
(The family who pimps together, stays together.) 

Folks on the mats at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournaments tend to notice whenever a coach is shouting out instructions to their students in Portuguese or even a Portuguese accent. The reason being that it probably means they are from the fighting style’s native country and therefore know certain deadly secrets to convey to their pupils in their mystical coded language.

Or something.

The point is, some times the opposition can get psyched out by the ol’ Romance languages during tournaments. Imagine you’re a coach doing his best to prep a young student for his or her first Jiu Jitsu match and then you hear their opponent’s coach talking to them in Gracie-speak. Now, imagine if said Brazilian coach was Wanderlei Freaking Silva coaching his own son in his first tournament.

That’s just what happened last weekend, as Wandy was recorded…er…recording his son’s very first tournament performance whilst shouting instructions that likely left everyone else’s dad looking for the nearest exit. Fresh off a brutal KO victory of Brian Stann at UFC on FUEL 8, Wandy showed up, head shaved, tribal skull tattoo on full display, but holding a cell phone camera up to his face to capture his son on tape just like any other dad. Check out the video of Silva coaching his son, Thor, after the jump.


(Video by MMAInterviews)

Pay special attention to the 1:49 mark, where Thor brutally soccer kicks his opponent until he falls face first onto the canvas in a bloody pulp. Just kidding.

But seriously, Son of Wand does indeed look to possess his dad’s trademark aggressiveness and nasty head clinch. It doesn’t take Thor long to grab his opponent by the arm and top of the head and snap him down to the mat. The take down appears to hurt Thor’s opponent and he is given time to recover.

Son of Wand stands, watches his opponent and smiles. We’re not kidding. Shades of Wand vs. Rampage I, anyone?

In any case, Thor passes guard, takes cross side and mount and wins on points. Father of Son of Wand then raises his own right arm and hand in proud celebration.

Let’s hope the other kid at least got some ice cream and an autograph after that.

– Elias Cepeda

Pat Barry Gets UFC 161 Bout Booked, Celebrates By Dancing In The Snow, Shirtless, With Girlfriend, Who Is Also Shirtless

MMA Junkie is reporting that heavyweight sluggers Pat Barry and Shawn Jordan are booked against one another for June 15th’s UFC 161. Both men got back in the win column in their last fights with nasty stoppages over Shane Del Rosario and Mike Russow, respectively.

The two share an opponent in Lavar Johnson, the last man to beat Barry (by first round TKO at UFC on FOX 3) and the same that Jordan was able to submit with a second round keylock back at Strikeforce Challengers 18. Undaunted by this fact, Barry and his girlfriend, fighter Rose “The Riveter” Namajunas, took to the streets of Milwaukee to celebrate the booking with their own Harlem Shake video while Dave Begel quietly masturbated off camera. Yeah, yeah, we know – Harlem Shake videos are so, over.

Well, the stocky Barry acting a fool in his underwear never goes out of style, especially now that he’s bringing his girl in on the action. After the jump, more videos of the couple acting goofy.

MMA Junkie is reporting that heavyweight sluggers Pat Barry and Shawn Jordan are booked against one another for June 15th’s UFC 161. Both men got back in the win column in their last fights with nasty stoppages over Shane Del Rosario and Mike Russow, respectively.

The two share an opponent in Lavar Johnson, the last man to beat Barry (by first round TKO at UFC on FOX 3) and the same that Jordan was able to submit with a second round keylock back at Strikeforce Challengers 18. Undaunted by this fact, Barry and his girlfriend, fighter Rose “The Riveter” Namajunas, took to the streets of Milwaukee to celebrate the booking with their own Harlem Shake video while Dave Begel quietly masturbated off camera. Yeah, yeah, we know – Harlem Shake videos are so, over.

Well, the stocky Barry acting a fool in his underwear never goes out of style, especially now that he’s bringing his girl in on the action. After the jump, more videos of the couple acting goofy.

Barry being a dick and rudely waking up Rose:

Rose getting her revenge and rudely waking up Barry/sucker punching him in the fucking mouth while he’s sleeping:

– Elias Cepeda

Mondays Suck, So Here’s a 14-Second Double Knockout to Tide You Over [VIDEO]

(Major props to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Typically, a Monday morning at the CagePotato offices starts with cake. Lots of cake. There’s a staff meeting after that, again, typically held in the context of an underground cockfight or at the very least a back alley dice game. The rest of the day is as you’d expect: team-building medicine ball dodgeball at 11, lunch at Matsuhisa at 1, a full two-hour break to “research” WMMA videos at 3, and finally, Mr. Pibbs and a staff-voted episode of The Wire at 5. The writing usually happens after dodgeball.

But alas, not everyone’s Mondays can be as exhilarating or PCP-laced as ours. That’s where this video of a 14-second double knockout from last Saturday’s Galaxy Fight Night IV comes into play. Because, as you watch Aaron Britt and Brandon Alexander trade right hands and simultaneously topple over like a pair of felled oaks, you will experience nearly one-eighteenth of the life-affirming invigoration that fills the average CagePotato employee on a daily basis. It’s not something most people get to experience in the span of their measly, infinitesimal lives, let alone on a Monday morning at work. So enjoy this, you guys.

After the jump: Nick Diaz, hitting a speed bag, for 23 straight minutes. It is the lethargic, insomnia-inducing yin to this video’s captivating yang, and it will break you.


(Major props to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Typically, a Monday morning at the CagePotato offices starts with cake. Lots of cake. There’s a staff meeting after that, again, typically held in the context of an underground cockfight or at the very least a back alley dice game. The rest of the day is as you’d expect: team-building medicine ball dodgeball at 11, lunch at Matsuhisa at 1, a full two-hour break to “research” WMMA videos at 3, and finally, Mr. Pibbs and a staff-voted episode of The Wire at 5. The writing usually happens after dodgeball.

But alas, not everyone’s Mondays can be as exhilarating or PCP-laced as ours. That’s where this video of a 14-second double knockout from last Saturday’s Galaxy Fight Night IV comes into play. Because as you watch Aaron Britt and Brandon Alexander trade right hands and simultaneously topple over like a pair of felled oaks, you will experience nearly one-eighteenth of the life-affirming invigoration that fills the average CagePotato employee on a daily basis. It’s not something most people get to experience in the span of their measly, infinitesimal lives, let alone on a Monday morning at work. So enjoy this, you guys.

After the jump: Nick Diaz, hitting a speed bag, for 23 straight minutes. It is the lethargic, insomnia-inducing yin to this video’s captivating yang, and it will break you.

–J. Jones