Ladies and gentlemen (actually, just gentlemen), today is your lucky day, because you are about to learn how easy it is to become a UFC fighter. None other than TUF 8 runner up and rubber armed badass Vinny Magalhaes came across this instructional video last night and tweeted it for the world to see.
Simply put, if you have any aspirations of becoming an MMA UFC fighter, it would be idiotic not to watch this video, for it provides more insight into the world of mixed martial arts in a minute and a half than years of training and dedication could ever accomplish. Where Red Bull and The Secret failed, this video will succeed.
Join us after the jump to get your knowledge on.
(Step 1: MIRRORS.)
Ladies and gentlemen (actually, just gentlemen), today is your lucky day, because you are about to learn how easy it is to become a UFC fighter. None other than TUF 8 runner up and rubber armed badass Vinny Magalhaes came across this instructional video last night and tweeted it for the world to see.
Simply put, if you have any aspirations of becoming an MMA UFC fighter, it would be idiotic not to watch this video, for it provides more insight into the world of mixed martial arts in a minute and a half than years of training and dedication could ever accomplish. Where Red Bull and The Secret failed, this video will succeed.
We have no clue what the true purpose behind this video was, but it did inform us that all it takes to become a UFC fighter is the following:
1. A big heart
2. A “club” that offers MMA training
3. At least one jump rope
4. At least one spin bike
5. Endurance that will last five three minute rounds
6. A UFC coach to personal trane you. We recommend this guy.
And there you have it, folks. Now get out to your local clubs and start lifting weights, but don’t forget to train endurance, cardio, and stamina as well. Because you might think you’re strong, but strength isn’t always what’s going to get you…
…and before you know it, you’ll have “the perfect match for a perfect fight.”
(“You’ve got him right where you want him, Patrick!”)
Since dropping his third straight fight to Tom Lawlor at UFC 121 and subsequently getting axed from the UFC, former middleweight title challenger (that still just seems weird to write) Patrick Cote has been quietly putting together wins under various Canadian promotions, and in fact has scored three straight over UFC veterans Kalib Starnes, Todd Brown, and Crafton Wallace.
One thing Sylvia hasn’t been doing, however, is scoring convincing wins over decent opponents. And according to Cote, Sylvia, and any other ex-UFC fighters attempting to beg their way back into the promotion, need to simply “shut up and fight.”
It all started when Cote out the following Tweet amidst all of Sylvia’s UFC pandering.
“@patrick_cote: Dear Tim Sylvia, shut the hell up, win fights and stop begging, its f*cking anoying !!!”
Join us after the jump for the war of words.
(“You’ve got him right where you want him, Patrick!”)
Since dropping his third straight fight to Tom Lawlor at UFC 121 and subsequently getting axed from the UFC, former middleweight title challenger (that still just seems weird to write) Patrick Cote has been quietly putting together wins under various Canadian promotions, and in fact has scored three straight over UFC veterans Kalib Starnes, Todd Brown, and Crafton Wallace.
One thing Sylvia hasn’t been doing, however, is scoring convincing wins over decent opponents. And according to Cote, Sylvia, and any other ex-UFC fighters attempting to beg their way back into the promotion, need to simply “shut up and fight.”
It all started when Cote out the following Tweet amidst all of Sylvia’s UFC pandering.
“@patrick_cote: Dear Tim Sylvia, shut the hell up, win fights and stop begging, its f*cking anoying !!!”
Sylvia, believe it or not, did not take to kindly to Cote’s advice, and responded with the follwing trifecta of Tweets:
“win a belt then u can talk to me. Or at least try cause your English sucks so bad.” [Irony.]
“look man I don’t know y u even said anything about me I thought we got along but for some that only got a shot cause of gsp.” [*Facepalm*]
“@patrick_cote should not talk shit I have done more in and for this sport then u ever will. I got some French war guns for sale.”
Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Tim. First off, Cote and GSP are not part of the same training camp. Secondly, French war guns? WTF is that?! And are you seriously trying to win a war of the words by insulting someone’s grasp of the English language while simultaneously using y, u, and ’cause in the same poorly formed sentence? Foot, meet mouth.
Anyway, Cote was recently interviewed by MMAWeekly, where he was given more than 150 characters to defend his position. Needless to say, his side of the argument makes a hell of a lot more sense than Fatty Boom-Boom’s:
Maybe that was a little bit out of control because that wasn’t a personal attack to Tim Sylvia, but that was just begging to have a chance to go back to the UFC, for me, it’s just a shame. You can’t beg the big organizations like that.
The only thing you have to do is shut your mouth, win fights, and prove you deserve to be back in the big show by winning fights and by your performance.
Cote was even complimentary of Sylvia’s accomplishments at one point.
You’ve been a champion in this organization; you know how things work. You’re not going to go anywhere by begging like that. I was just annoyed about begging, a lot of the begging, and I said loud what a lot of people was thinking. I have nothing against Sylvia. He’s been a great champion. He did a lot in the sport. He did a lot in the UFC. I hope he’s going to be back in the UFC. That’s not the point. The point was just about the begging thing.
It’s hard to disagree with Cote here, especially given how Dana White has shut down Tim Sylvia’s hopes before they ever grew legs. Wins, not words, earn you a place in the sport’s highest organization. Unless you are James Toney of course, in which case it’s neither.
Currently, Cote is scheduled to square off against Shooto, IFL, and KOTC veteran Gustavo Machado in Brazil this weekend, a win that could very easily earn him a call back to the UFC. Sylvia, on the other hand, has not fought since his snorefest victory over Andreas Kraniotakes at the abysmal Pro Elite 2: Big Guns event last November.
So what say you, Potato Nation? Should Sylvia squash this pipe dream altogether, or, you know, actually pick up a couple more wins before he takes to the Internet for support once more?
(Don’t play that shit around Senator Harry Reid. This is the man who *invented* invisible lat syndrome.)
As the editor of an MMA website, I’m constantly bombarded with images of tattooed skinheads engaged in gay foreplay. And yet, there are times when I’m faced with an image that even makes me uncomfortable. Check out 25 of the most chillingly awkward MMA photos in the gallery after the jump, laugh nervously, then avert your eyes in shame…
As the editor of an MMA website, I’m constantly bombarded with images of tattooed skinheads engaged in gay foreplay. And yet, there are times when I’m faced with an image that even makes me uncomfortable. Check out 25 of the most chillingly awkward MMA photos in the gallery after the jump, laugh nervously, then avert your eyes in shame…
(You best believe that if Anderson’s wife isn’t making someone a sandwich, she’s doing their laundry.)
Keeping with the theme of previous UFC on Fox promos, the latest ad features none other than UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva trying to convince us that he’s just a normal guy whilst performing tasks that only The Fonz could get away with. No, he isn’t lip singing Minnie Riperton or seducing Brazilian pop stars, but “The Spider” manages to be entertaining nonetheless.
But your probably asking yourself, how could someone who all but refuses to speak English appear in an American television commercial? Surely they didn’t subtitle him, because our forefathers didn’t die face down in the mud so that we’d be forced to listen to some cockamamie, Godless language in our own homes and read on top of it. But it turns out that there would be no need for subtitles, because wouldn’t you know, Chael Sonnen wasn’t lying to us; Anderson Silva speaks better English than Jackie Chan has managed to learn in twenty-some years of acting.
This more or less confirms that Big Nog did in fact try to feed a bus a carrot. It’s only a matter of time until the truth is revealed.
Join us after the jump for the video.
(You best believe that if Anderson’s wife isn’t making someone a sandwich, she’s doing their laundry.)
But your probably asking yourself, how could someone who all but refuses to speak English appear in an American television commercial? Surely they didn’t subtitle him, because our forefathers didn’t die face down in the mud so that we’d be forced to listen to some cockamamie, Godless language in our own homes and read on top of it. But it turns out that there would be no need for subtitles, because wouldn’t you know, Chael Sonnen wasn’t lying to us; Anderson Silva speaks better English than Jackie Chan has managed to learn in twenty-some years of acting.
This more or less confirms that Big Nog did in fact try to feed a bus a carrot. It’s only a matter of time until the truth is revealed.
Much like the one depicted in that commercial, our universe is fucking shattered.
(“I’d like to see that old greeter try to tell me I can’t come in.”)
We’re starting to think that maybe Clay Guida is allergic to shirts, since it’s rare that we ever see him in one.
In spite of Walmart’s strict, “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule, the Carpenter recently thumbed his nose at the big box store’s customer dress code policy in Missouri to pick up some supplies for another undoubtedly epic weekend of debauchery in his shaggin’ wagon.
(“I’d like to see that old greeter try to tell me I can’t come in.”)
We’re starting to think that maybe Clay Guida is allergic to shirts, since it’s rare that we ever see him in one.
In spite of Walmart’s strict, “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule, the Carpenter recently thumbed his nose at the big box store’s customer dress code policy in Missouri to pick up some supplies for another undoubtedly epic weekend of debauchery in his shaggin’ wagon.
Besides chugging girl drinks and hanging out with bevies of scantily-clad women, MMA’s hard-partying version of Spicoli‘s next favorite past time seems to be feeling the sunshine and open air on his chest while he poses for fan photos.
If I knew that this was how fighters undergoing injury rehabilitation were treated in Brazil, I would have thrown myself in front of that horse truck that ran over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria years ago. We have no clue what the name of this show is (Melhor do Brasil maybe?), but we feel that depriving you of that piece of information won’t really irk you when you take a look at the drop dead gorgeous women that the current UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva got to judge as part of a body painting contest.
Join us after the jump for the video. You’ll be glad you did.
(Thankfully, Silva’s wife was too busy making steak sandwiches for a certain someone, and could not be in attendance.)
If I knew that this was how fighters undergoing injury rehabilitation were treated in Brazil, I would have thrown myself in front of that horse truck that ran over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria years ago. We have no clue what the name of this show is (Melhor do Brasil maybe?), but we feel that depriving you of that piece of information won’t really irk you when you take a look at the drop dead gorgeous women that the current UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva got to judge as part of a body painting contest.
Apparently this video is from September of last year. We don’t care. And neither should you.
Silva is set to defend his title against Chael Sonnen at UFC 147, which goes down from the Estádio Olímpico João Havelange in Rio de Janeiro on June 16th. That is, if Sonnen is not trampled to death during his walk out by the 80,000 bloodthirsty Brazilians in attendance.
Speaking of Brazilian knockouts, check out a fight that is best described as the Brazilian version of Cheick Kongo vs. Pat Barry below.
Geronimo “Mondragon” Dos Santos, who is perhaps best known for getting steamrolled by Josh Barnett at an Impact FC event back in July of 2010, squared off against Rodrigo “Mamute” Da Silva last Friday. The match only lasted 58 seconds, but it was a Goddamn thrilling 58 seconds. After Dos Santos nearly got lawnchaired by a wild left hook at the fight’s 40 second mark, he managed to pop back to his feet and deliver a straight right that dropped his opponent to the mat like…well, like Pat Barry. A few unnecessary punches followed it up and this baby was all over. Need some more similarites to the Kongo/Barry fight? How about the “nuh-uh” hand gesture that Dos Santos gives to the crowd after that zombified comeback? That cheeky bastard.
Insane fact: Dos Santos has fought eighteen times in the past two years. Travis Fulton would approve.
