(All praises be to MiddleEasy for the find.)
Alright, you guys, this is the last time we’re going to explain this.
We understand that six months of sprawl training can fill you with a previously unimaginable sense of self-confidence. Hell, throw in a couple BJJ lessons and a month or so of P90X and most of us would probably feel damn near invincible. It’s understandable to a degree, for we are a fragile-minded species that are easily influenced and oft corrupted by our own power, no matter how fleeting it may be.
But as fragile as our minds truly are, our bodies usually pale in comparison (*cough* Kevin Ware *cough*). And in the MMA game, taking one’s body for granted is a surefire way to wind up on the wrong end of a knockout — an embarrassing moment made all the more embarrassing when it comes just moments after you dare your opponent to test your otherworldly chin strength. Just ask our winner for the Biggest MMA Fail of 2012 or the Diaz wannabe who got front-kicked into never-neverland what showboating leads to. Hint: It’s pain. Only pain.
As you can tell by his pathetic attempts to perform what we in the MMA world call a “kick,” the jackwagon featured above clearly falls into the category of “Six Month Sprawl Superstar.” And while it’s fitting that this guy would be so confident in his chin that he would charge face first into a punch with his hands down, the humor we can take away from his misfortune only masks the bigger picture: reckless endangerment.
The simple fact is that one of these crazy bastards are going to get themselves killed while attempting to show off during a fight, and when one of them inevitably does, our beloved sport will once again be put the ringer as a result. It’s pretty selfish, honestly, but who am I kidding? I’m talking to the guy who is so self-centered that he laughs at the notion of a mere mortal somehow possessing the strength to knock him out.
Look, we know it looks cool/intimidating when Nick Diaz effortlessly absorbs his opponents best shots whilst throwing Stockton Heybuddies all the while, but none of you are Nick Diaz. If you were, you would certainly be too caught up in some good old fashioned nunchucking to own a computer and therefore read this plea.
You want to show off how much of a badass you are? Try finishing your opponent then celebrating. There’s a much smaller window for failure there. In the meantime, we beg you impressionable MMA fighters out there to please spend a little less time thinking you’re God and a little more keeping your hands up. For our sake and yours.