‘Tapped’ Is Already an Oscar-Frontrunner for ‘Shittiest MMA Movie Not Directed by Hector Echavarria’

(Props: TappedPictures)

Anderson Silva in a limited-speaking role. A pretty-boy protagonist. Generic hip-hop in the soundtrack. Superman-punches upon superman-punches upon superman-punches. Damn it, I thought we were done with this sort of thing.

Here’s the trailer for a new MMA flick called Tapped, in which “A disgruntled teenager, sent to do community service at a rundown Karate school, enters an MMA tournament to face the man that killed his parents.” A few observations, here:

– Yes, a rundown Karate school. In the year 2013. That’s your boy Disgruntled Teenager swinging a friggin’ bo staff at 0:21-0:22

– 0:29-0:31 is sort of edited to look like Lyoto Machida is checking out that girl’s ass, but come on, nobody wearing a mustache like that would be checking out a girl’s ass.

– Are you telling me that K-Sos was the biggest name they could find for the villain in this thing? (As Jared put it, “I just enjoy that K-Sos is the only MMA fighter allowed to be the bad guy in movies because TATTOOS SKINHEAD RUSSIAN LOOKING.”)

– And exactly what Indian casino sanctioned a fight between a light-heavyweight and a guy who looks like a slightly-fitter version of Telly from Kids?

Meanwhile, Hector Echavarria spent this year shooting a kung fu movie with Rampage Jackson and an MMA movie with Danny Trejo, so yeah, I think that dude’s doing just fine.


(Props: TappedPictures)

Anderson Silva in a limited-speaking role. A pretty-boy protagonist. Generic hip-hop in the soundtrack. Superman-punches upon superman-punches upon superman-punches. Damn it, I thought we were done with this sort of thing.

Here’s the trailer for a new MMA flick called Tapped, in which “A disgruntled teenager, sent to do community service at a rundown Karate school, enters an MMA tournament to face the man that killed his parents.” A few observations, here:

– Yes, a rundown Karate school. In the year 2013. That’s your boy Disgruntled Teenager swinging a friggin’ bo staff at 0:21-0:22

– 0:29-0:31 is sort of edited to look like Lyoto Machida is checking out that girl’s ass, but come on, nobody wearing a mustache like that would be checking out a girl’s ass.

– Are you telling me that K-Sos was the biggest name they could find for the villain in this thing? (As Jared put it, “I just enjoy that K-Sos is the only MMA fighter allowed to be the bad guy in movies because TATTOOS SKINHEAD RUSSIAN LOOKING.”)

– And exactly what Indian casino sanctioned a fight between a light-heavyweight and a guy who looks like a slightly-fitter version of Telly from Kids?

Meanwhile, Hector Echavarria spent this year shooting a kung fu movie with Rampage Jackson and an MMA movie with Danny Trejo, so yeah, I think that dude’s doing just fine.