Jon Jones Snags Cover of EA SPORTS UFC Video Game, Officially Dooms Career

Start placing your bets on Glover Teixeira to win big, Potato Nation, because Jon Jones just done screwed up the rest of his career.

The curse of the EA Sports cover is an urban legend as old as time itself, predating that of the Sasquatch, the choking Doberman, Bloody Mary, Paul Harris (a.k.a The Brazilian, Ankle-Eating Sasquatch), and even The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs. Unlike all of those other legends, however, the EA Sports Cover Curse has been proven to be 100% true. And it appears that Jon Jones — insolent, arrogant Jon Jones — has decided to doom his career to an endless string of injuries and underwhelming performances by appearing on the cover of EA’s inaugural UFC game. Said Jones in a press release:

It’s another one of those surreal moments, one of those moments you just have to step back and pinch yourself and realize I’m not dreaming. I’m trying to achieve it all. I’m trying to start a precedent for fighters of the future. I’m trying to give people a lot to live up to. This means a lot to me.

It was additionally revealed that Entwal Armoris, the pagan God of misfortune and pestilence embodied by the EA curse, will be joining Jones on next year’s cover. That’s him shrouded in darkness to Jones’ right…(*checks earpiece*)…I’m sorry, I’m being told that the shadowy figure is not actually Entwal Armoris, but a placeholder for a fighter who will be voted in by the fans at UFC.com/covervote. I’m also being told that there is no pagan God of misfortune or pestilence. I apologize for misleading you.

We’ve thrown a preview of EA SPORTS UFC after the jump. Check it out and then pray that I never have to write about video games again.

Start placing your bets on Glover Teixeira to win big, Potato Nation, because Jon Jones just done screwed up the rest of his career.

The curse of the EA Sports cover is an urban legend as old as time itself, predating that of the Sasquatch, the choking Doberman, Bloody Mary, Paul Harris (a.k.a The Brazilian, Ankle-Eating Sasquatch), and even The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs. Unlike all of those other legends, however, the EA Sports Cover Curse has been proven to be 100% true. And it appears that Jon Jones — insolent, arrogant Jon Jones — has decided to doom his career to an endless string of injuries and underwhelming performances by appearing on the cover of EA’s inaugural UFC game. Said Jones in a press release:

It’s another one of those surreal moments, one of those moments you just have to step back and pinch yourself and realize I’m not dreaming. I’m trying to achieve it all. I’m trying to start a precedent for fighters of the future. I’m trying to give people a lot to live up to. This means a lot to me.

It was additionally revealed that Entwal Armoris, the pagan God of misfortune and pestilence embodied by the EA curse, will be joining Jones on next year’s cover. That’s him shrouded in darkness to Jones’ right…(*checks earpiece*)…I’m sorry, I’m being told that the shadowy figure is not actually Entwal Armoris, but a placeholder for a fighter who will be voted in by the fans at UFC.com/covervote. I’m also being told that there is no pagan God of misfortune or pestilence. I apologize for misleading you.

We’ve thrown a preview of EA SPORTS UFC after the jump. Check it out and then pray that I never have to write about video games again.

–J. Jones