Sad Quote of the Day: Forrest Griffin “Can’t Shoot a Basketball, Can’t Throw a Ball, and Has to Brush His Teeth With His Left Hand” These Days


(And to top it all off, his depth perception has somehow gotten *worse*. Photo via Getty.)

Remember how Ronda Rousey told Miesha Tate that she “should get used to wiping her ass with the other hand?” Well, if Forrest Griffin is to be believed, alternate arm ass wiping is probably a reality she’ll be facing down the line regardless of what Rousey does to her at UFC 168.

Griffin recently appeared on The MMA Hour to discuss life after the UFC, and when asked if there ever a possibility we’d see him unretire (because us MMA journalists simply cannot leave well enough alone), Griffin gave a typically candid response:

I physically can’t (come back). I didn’t want to be done, in the beginning. When I announced my retirement, that was actually when I was trying to come back and I realized, it just wasn’t viable. It passed me by. My shoulder is done. I brush my teeth with my left hand now. That’s just the way it goes. I can’t shoot a basketball, I can’t throw any kind of ball. I was right handed.

The last three years, I was kinda fighting with one arm, on and off. My training camp was, I don’t want to call it Frank Mir style, but it was Frank Mir style. It’s like, I’m going to work on whatever hurts the least today. What are we doing today? Well, what’s not broken today? That’s what we’re going to do today.


(And to top it all off, his depth perception has somehow gotten *worse*. Photo via Getty.)

Remember how Ronda Rousey told Miesha Tate that she “should get used to wiping her ass with the other hand?” Well, if Forrest Griffin is to be believed, alternate arm ass wiping is probably a reality she’ll be facing down the line regardless of what Rousey does to her at UFC 168.

Griffin recently appeared on The MMA Hour to discuss life after the UFC, and when asked if there ever a possibility we’d see him unretire (because us MMA journalists simply cannot leave well enough alone), Griffin gave a typically candid response:

I physically can’t (come back). I didn’t want to be done, in the beginning. When I announced my retirement, that was actually when I was trying to come back and I realized, it just wasn’t viable. It passed me by. My shoulder is done. I brush my teeth with my left hand now. That’s just the way it goes. I can’t shoot a basketball, I can’t throw any kind of ball. I was right handed.

The last three years, I was kinda fighting with one arm, on and off. My training camp was, I don’t want to call it Frank Mir style, but it was Frank Mir style. It’s like, I’m going to work on whatever hurts the least today. What are we doing today? Well, what’s not broken today? That’s what we’re going to do today.

It’s funny how the lives of Griffin and his greatest rival have diverged since their final UFC fight at UFC 148. Here you have one guy who, not without apprehension, was willing to admit that his body had had enough and needed to pack it in. On the other side of the coin, you have a guy (4 years the elder of the first guy, BTW) who came to the same conclusion, only to recant on said decision via a bathroom selfie and suffer an injury that *should* have confirmed his decision in the first place.

But don’t worry, the latter is already “90% recovered” from said injury. Our response can be found here.

J. Jones