If you live in one of those weird countries that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, then I ask you to consider joining us in this fine day of indulgence by overeating (and overdrinking) for reasons that haven’t mattered in about 400 years. C’mon, don’t be shy. You’ll float too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I love this holiday. It’s probably second behind Christmas, that other day of the year when I eat like I’m going to the electric chair, and that’s only because there is no Turkey Claus who leaves presents under my rotting gourd.
What makes this day so special?
I don’t give a rat’s ass about the pilgrims or that sob story reenacted by the Peanuts gang every year on CBS. For me, Thanksgiving was one of the only days on the calendar when my dad wasn’t acting like a drunken asshole.
Instead, he was acting like a drunken fabulist!
“Let me tell you about the time I went bear hunting and dragged an 800-pound trophy kill across Mt. McKinley…”
Anyway, today is (almost) always a fun day, especially if you’re able to pretend that nobody in your town is alone, homeless, or starving. It’s actually pretty easy. Just start drinking before noon and put on the first football game that airs on network TV.
Bears vs. Lions at 12:30 p.m. ET, in case you were wondering.
All kidding aside, best wishes to all the MMA maniacs who zoom in and out of here on a regular basis. Those who are one and done, fuck ‘em, and I can say that, because they aren’t coming back and will never read this.
Consider this your official “open thread and discussion” — just please keep it PG-13. Oh, and don’t forget to spike the egg nog (and everything else)!