Breath Of The Wild (Man)

Photo by Jason Merritt/FilmMagic

Maybe I’m doing it wrong.
Every time I get into the sauna it’s like a Derrick Lewis post-fight interview. For UFC color commentator Joe Rogan, his self-broil results in psychedelic mind trips that end in l…

HBO & AEG Live’s “The Comedy Festival” - Maxim Real Men of Comedy

Photo by Jason Merritt/FilmMagic

Maybe I’m doing it wrong.

Every time I get into the sauna it’s like a Derrick Lewis post-fight interview. For UFC color commentator Joe Rogan, his self-broil results in psychedelic mind trips that end in love and understanding.

And dead Comanches.

“Tonight I’m re-listening to ‘Empire Of The Summer Moon’ S.C. Gwynne’s epic tale of the Comanche Indians in the South West,” Rogan wrote on Instagram. “I do a breathing exercise where I breath in deeply for six seconds, and then exhale for six. I got into my rhythm, and I started to get overwhelmed thinking about these insane depictions of struggle and tragedy, all of it taking place from around 180 years ago to the late 1900’s. The stories of the raids, and the battles, and the massacres were both horrific and fascinating. I kept thinking. ‘this was not that long ago.’ Eventually I took the AirPods out and just got lost in the breathing. The images from the stories lit up my imagination, and the sound of my own breath began to hypnotize me.”

I was hypnotized by my own breath at my cousin’s wedding last year, probably because of that cheese plate I devoured during cocktail hour. I don’t want to say I had bad breath, but I could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

“The sensation became really intense, and it felt as if a layer of whatever it is that keeps me from understanding myself and the world around me was peeled away,” Rogan continued. “Two words echoed in my head: ‘love and understanding.’ For the last 10 to 15 minutes these words and and the ideas that came with them danced in my head to the sounds of inhaling and exhaling, transforming my thinking like a beautiful mind virus. When it was over I felt this overwhelming desire to just hug people and be nice to people.”

I could use a hug, but I’m not driving to Texas to get one.