Former UFC middleweight Jason Miller was released from jail earlier this year after completing his sentence on previous charges of vandalism and domestic violence, but quickly found himself back in police custody after allegedly strangling a fan at the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood.
The late-August incident forced the one-time Ultimate Fighter (TUF) coach to reflect on his mental health and take the steps he needs to “transition from prison to the regular world.” His first order of business comes in the form of a public apology to friends and family for his “self-destructive behavior.”
Read the full letter below:
I went away for a couple of years to pay my debt to society, and when I got out, I realized that I have much more paying to do.
Maybe it’s hard for the average person to understand living with a stigma firmly etched into your life, so I can’t fault anyone for recoiling in horror upon meeting me, given the press that I get. I wish I were made of stone and didn’t allow it to affect me, but I have, and failed those that love me.
I thought I could smoothly transition from prison to the regular world, but things have been more difficult than I imagined, especially interpersonal relationships and the burden of being free.
Maybe some of you can understand and empathize, but I don’t expect you to, or even care what happens to an old prizefighter. I choose this path far before I realized what could happen after the glory faded away, and I ask myself sometimes if I knew the reality, would I have picked any differently, and consistently I come to the conclusion, that, no, the younger me at the wheel, I could’ve never picked a different path.
By all accounts I am a great coach, but all my personal problems have piled up, and I’ve fallen short of my own standards, therefore I am taking some time to work on myself. Until recently I viewed asking for help as something for the weak, but a very special person has shown me that the actual opposite is true; asking for help shows strength. Strength of character and strength of mind.
My family has bore the brunt of my frustration and self-destructive behavior, so to them I offer a sincere apology and if I have directly affected you in a negative manner, I am sorry.
More than likely, you’ve seen the sunny side of Instagram and figured, “Mayhem is a bit whacky, but doing great.”
I haven’t.
I’ve been doing horrible and I realize that now and I’m doing everything I can to change it. Thank you for your support, but I’m not reading comments. I’m going to work on me now for the good of my family.
Sorry I won’t be into Fight Science for sparring tomorrow or New Ground Jujitsu for a while, but I have a bigger bout to win.
Much love,
Jason “Mayhem” Miller
Miller turns 43 in December.
“Mayhem” (23-10, 1 NC) has not competed since a submission defeat to Mattia Schiavolin under the Venator FC banner back in early 2016. His final UFC appearance came against CB Dollaway in a losing effort on the UFC 146 pay-per-view (PPV) card more than a decade ago.