How Coming Out Changed The Life Of Liz Carmouche

“I’m not trying to get in trouble, but just because of this side of me that I’m not coming to terms with, I’m bad?”

It takes a special breed to fist-fight for a living.

MMA attracts some of the most unique sports characters in the world, for better or worse, and understandably so. The story variety is unlimited and everyone has their own “why” and purpose they’re trying to prove, or goal they desire to achieve.

On Feb. 23, 2013, Liz Carmouche checked one of her goals off the neverending list. At UFC 157, she became the first female fighter to enter the UFC octagon for a professional MMA fight. Not only was it the first walk, it was the first fight in the UFC, the first main event between women, and she was the first openly gay fighter on such a stage.

“I didn’t know what a gay couple really was,” Carmouche told MMA Mania reflecting on her upbringing. “You see it as a quick episode on TV touched on, that’s it.

“My first time ever seeing a gay couple was 22 [years old]. It was my first time. I went to Hillcrest in San Diego. I was like (gasps), ‘There’s a gay couple holding hands, oh my god!’ I don’t want to be that awkward person that’s looking at them but I’m like, ‘This is so cool. I’ve never seen this before.’”

Carmouche, 40, was born in Lafayette, Louisiana but grew up overseas in Okinawa, Japan. Global cultural acceptances were a whole lot different than at present, especially in a place like Japan. Living in the country throughout the ‘80s to early ‘00s, Carmouche had never seen public displays of affection or same-sex couples, making her internal battle all the more perplexing.

“Coming out, it was such a struggle,” Carmouche said. “I was going to a Christian school where they’re telling me that by being a homosexual you’re going to Hell and you’re going to burn.

“Here I am in school and I’m trying to be this good kid. I’m not the one doing drugs, I’m not the one having premarital sex, I’m not partying. I work, I play sports, and I go to school. That’s it. I’m a good kid, I’m not trying to get in trouble, but just because of this side of me that I’m not coming to terms with, I’m bad? Like, that doesn’t make any sense. I’m not the kid that’s stealing from their parents and hiding things. I don’t understand. I volunteer, I do all this good stuff, I don’t get it.”

Ultimately, it took Carmouche until she was a delayed 22 years old to fully express herself. While Hillcrest and the scenery change was important in opening her eyes, it still wasn’t an easy moment to reach.

Carmouche was an aviation electrician in the Marine Corps, where she served for five years and did three tours of duty in the Middle East. There was a strong desire to let her friends and fellow Marines know her truth. “Would I be accepted?” she asked herself, seeking an open community she’d long wanted.

It was a big risk with deep ripple effects. If Carmouche was to be outed by a believed friend or word spread in general, she’d have been kicked out of the Marines dishonorably, and her capability to find jobs in the future forever hindered.

“That struggle with the LGBT community was so difficult,” Carmouche said. “The placement where I found acceptance was MMA. In many different ways, and that certainly helped soothe it, but I feel like having had that be such a distinct part of my developed side for my teenage years and my early adulthood still makes it such a raw wound and still a sensitive thing for me.”

Had things even been the slightest bit different for Carmouche coming out, she admits we wouldn’t be having this conversation now. The version of her the world knows would have been bottled up and hidden away as she wouldn’t be happily married to her wife with their son. Instead of becoming an MMA pioneer, a soccer career was in the pipeline.

Unfortunately for her, Carmouche’s historic UFC start didn’t begin with the massive title victory upset she was so close to pulling off against Ronda Rousey. Before her time with the promotion concluded, she’d add more notches to her resume, though. “Girlrilla” became the first fighter to win a UFC bout in the state of New York when she earned a unanimous decision over Katlyn Chookagian at UFC 205 in November 2016.

Directly after the Chookagian win, Carmouche made a change. A career-long 135-pound bantamweight contender, Carmouche decided she would drop to the promotion’s new 125-pound flyweight division. From there, she’d go on to challenge for that division’s title before heading to Bellator, and claiming gold. She’s on the best stretch of her career with an eight-fight winning streak (3 KO/TKOs, 3 submissions, 21-7 overall).

“I feel like not yet,” Carmouche responded when asked if she feels she’s cemented her legacy. “I think for one, social media is something that is so under and overutized. In some aspects, it’s underutilized for what it can do for the way that it touches the fans and spreads the knowledge of MMA. How it’s grown for MMA is because of social media, but also overutilized in that we rely too much on it instead of just appreciating what we see in front of us and it can take from our ability to train to focus on what we need to.

“It has its role, and I think that I’m definitely that person that’s on the underutilized. I’m not doing my right with social media and I don’t have the representation on social media that’s needed, that gives me the recognition I deserve. Like if I had a million followers, at the end of the day, does it a million followers boost my self-esteem? No, it doesn’t do anything for me. Does it boost my career? Absolutely. So, that’s important, right? That’s gonna help me.”

Age is just a number, as Carmouche continues to look better than ever inside the cage. The Bellator flyweight champion is only adding to her three successful defenses by now pursuing a $1 million prize and PFL title in the promotion’s 2024 season.

For all she’s done and continues to do in the cage, Carmouche won’t be satisfied until her reach goes as far as she knows it can.

“The more people that know who I am, the more people that know what I stand for, that know what I’m trying to spread for other people as far as their confidence within themselves, and trying to expand the knowledge of MMA and womens abilities in the sport,” Carmouche said. “Until that’s widespread and everybody knows, I haven’t done it yet. I haven’t cemented my legacy.”

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