Coffin Wars … Can You Escape?

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“In Coffin Wars, two fighters compete to escape a coffin,” according to the organization. “Each fighter takes a turn starting at the bottom of a grappling position and must escape the coffin to win the round. I…


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“In Coffin Wars, two fighters compete to escape a coffin,” according to the organization. “Each fighter takes a turn starting at the bottom of a grappling position and must escape the coffin to win the round. If tied after two, the competitors start a third round locked up on knees and each must try to escape.”

When I first heard of Coffin Wars, I was immediately intrigued because I (foolishly) expected fighters to be buried alive … sort of how Bud earthed The Bride in Kill Bill: Vol. 2.

Not quite.

Instead, a couple of goofy streamers laid on top of one another and tried to escape a coffin-like enclosure. One contestant managed to free himself during his snug showdown — but dissatisfied fans on chat forced him back into the pit.

Expect those lunatics in Russia to rework this concept into a real casket match.

Also making its Pro League Network (PLN) debut was Gorilla Games; which sadly, does not feature streamers fighting gorillas to the death. Instead, “two competitors face off in plank positions and attempt to knock the other down.”

Here’s a sample:

One and done? Not a chance.

Coffin Wars and Gorilla Games will join Slap Poker on PLN’s regular lineup in 2025, with more dates expected to be announced in the coming weeks.

Stay tuned … or don’t.