(She taught you well, Urijah.)
Whether or not you’re a fan of former WEC featherweight champion and current number one bantamweight contender Urijah Faber, you’ve got to admit that the guy is one tough son of a bitch, figuratively speaking of course. Aside from his story involving an insane run-in with members of the (an?) Indonesian mob, the dude single-handedly tore a hole in Cecil People’s bullshit “leg kicks don’t hurt” argument by offering his first pair of legs as a sacrifice to Jose Aldo at WEC 48. In fact, Faber might just be the toughest kid in all of California, considering that, when he isn’t beating the shit out of people, he’s bustin’ caps in their dreams.
And apparently it runs in the family. Not only is his sister recovering smoothly from the November car accident that left her in a coma for eight days, it appears that his mother, Suzanne, is now helping rid California of cat burglars. Yes, cat burglars are a thing.
Why anyone, let alone an able-bodied man, would ever want more cats than zero is beyond us. Be that as it may, Mrs. Faber was house sitting for a friend recently when one of these sick individuals tried to make off with her friend’s cat, which was named “either Snowball or Patches,” authorities claimed. We feel obligated to tell you that that very last bit was a complete fabrication, but this next part isn’t; not only did Faber’s mom manage to find a realistic enough looking gun to hold the “thief” at bay until the police arrived, she did it on her birthday.
“The California Kid” was quick to congratulate her, tweeting:
Happy B-day to my beautiful mom Suzanne today. Still feisty, just caught a burgler w a pellet gun. Held him off till the cops arrived … he thought she was using a real gun … She was house sitting, & found this High powered pellet gun. Looks dangerous enough.
Faber also tweeted photos of the gun and the thief being apprehended, which we’ve placed below.
Kids these days, with their fancy, semi-dangerous weaponry. Remember when a piece of PVC pipe and a potato could keep you entertained for days? (Author’s note: If no one makes some kind of sick sexual joke here, I will be severely disappointed.)
Word has it that Faber’s mom gave the robber the option of waiting for the police or spending 30 seconds in that pool. He took a seat almost immediately.
-J. Jones