(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.)
If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.
Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”
First up, an interesting clash at lightweight between rising star Ryan Couture and falling star K.J. Noons. Currently 5-1 under the Strikeforce banner, not Randy Couture will be looking to end his SF career with four straight wins against the struggling Noons, who has dropped three of his last four in the promotion including a near death-by-wrestlefucking at the hands of Josh Thompson in his last appearance.
In other news, Roger Gracie will be looking to build on his recent victory over Keith Jardine at Strikeforce:Rockhold vs. Kennedy when he takes on Anthony “Lionheart” Smith, who recently submitted Lumumba Sayers via triangle choke at Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman to improve his SF record to 2-1.
Random fact: If Mike Kyle can make it to his fight with Gegard Mousasi this time, he will have competed on the very first and very last Strikeforce MMA cards. Cover your eyes, Gegard, because some thumbs will be comin’ your way if history is any indication.
Alright, now that we’ve got past all that boring MMA stuff, can we please get back to where the hell CAPSLOCKHAL and Xeno have been?