And Now He’s Fired: Future POTUS Jacob Volkmann Becomes the Latest Victim of the Obama Unemployment Crisis


(In an even stranger turn of events, it was revealed that Vollkmann was actually required by law to wear that shirt whenever he was within a half mile of a playground.) 

My God how the time flies. You might not have realized it — mainly because he is the type of fighter that screams “Facebook prelims” — but outspoken Minnesotan (new band name, called it) Jacob Volkmann has been fighting for the UFC for upwards of three years now, and has collected an impressive 6-4 record in the promotion. Outside of the octagon, Volkmann gained notoriety over the years for once threatening to rip off President Obama’s arm and subsequently receiving a visit from the Secret Service, an incident he would parlay into hundreds of thousands of tens of dollars in hideous, neon orange t-shirt sales.

But unfortunately for all of us Tea Party-supporting, lay-n-pray aficionados, Volkmann’s avant-garde experiment that dared combine the gripping excitement of wrestling clinics with the comic stylings of Neil Hamburger has come to an end, at least for now. Volkmann announced earlier today via his Twitter that he has been cut by the UFC following his loss to promotional newcomer Bobby Green at UFC 156: 


(In an even stranger turn of events, it was revealed that Vollkmann was actually required by law to wear that shirt whenever he was within a half mile of a playground.) 

My God how the time flies. You might not have realized it — mainly because he is the type of fighter that screams “Facebook prelims” — but outspoken Minnesotan (new band name, called it) Jacob Volkmann has been fighting for the UFC for upwards of three years now, and has collected an impressive 6-4 record in the promotion. Outside of the octagon, Volkmann gained notoriety over the years for once threatening to rip off President Obama’s arm and subsequently receiving a visit from the Secret Service, an incident he would parlay into hundreds of thousands of tens of dollars in hideous, neon orange t-shirt sales.

But unfortunately for all of us Tea Party-supporting, lay-n-pray aficionados, Volkmann’s avant-garde experiment that dared combine the gripping excitement of wrestling clinics with the comic stylings of Neil Hamburger has come to an end, at least for now. Volkmann announced earlier today via his Twitter that he has been cut by the UFC following his loss to promotional newcomer Bobby Green at UFC 156: 

Volkmann’s loss at UFC 156 was his second in his past three fights. Combine that with Volkmann’s somewhat lackadaisical style and you’ve got yourself all the justification you need to send him adrift. However, ”Christmas” also stated on his Twitter account that the decision to cut him was that of Joe Silva’s, not Dana White’s, which means that Volkmann more than likely turned down a fight recently.

After starting his UFC career with a rocky 0-2 run in the welterweight division, Volkmann made the drop to lightweight in 2010 and put together five straight victories before getting caught in the patented Sassangle at UFC 146. Volkmann would rebound from the loss with his strongest octagon showing at UFC on FX 5, where he would score his only UFC finish by strangling WEC veteran Shane Roller inside of the first round.

Volkmann’s subsequent loss to Green at UFC 156 dropped him to 6-2 in the lightweight division. Meanwhile, Leonard Garcia still has a job despite losing his last 4 UFC contests. It just goes to show that “entertaining in defeat” will always trump “boring in victory” in the UFC. Not exactly a terrible business model if you ask us.

–J. Jones