Author: By Dan Downes

The episode opens up with the guys coming into the house and checking out their new digs. James Chaney tells us that he’s been sleeping in his buddy’s garage so it’s nice to actually be in a house. Many of the other guys can’t believe the amenities they have at their disposal. Personally, I can’t believe how many frozen pizzas and alcoholic beverages they have in there. It looks like FX gives the responsibility of stocking the house to a college intern.

It’s beautiful to see relationships grow. In the case of the TUF house, you get to see them go from annoyance to eventual physical violence. It looks like Julian Lane and Matt Secor will be the relationship we witness go down that road to destruction. From what I can gather, their argument begins because Secor thinks Lane’s mohawk is stupid and Lane thinks Secor is annoying and not a good fighter. While that may not seem like much, it’s eerily similar to the personal conflict between Otto von Bismarck and Emile Olivier that started the Franco Prussian war.

Training Time
The show then takes us to Team Carwin’s first team practice. Coach Carwin informs us about how serious he takes responsibility for the fighters under his care. He says that he wants to give he guys the best possible tools to win and introduces his assistant coaches Trevor Wittman and Pat Barry. All the guys on Team Carwin are impressed with their coach and set up. James Chaney sums it up by saying, “This training is a lot different from what I’m used to — it’s smarter.”

It then immediately cuts to Team Nelson’s training where the fighters there are a little less than impressed. The overall sentiment is that they aren’t training hard enough — Roy’s called for one-a-days when most of the guys are used to working out two and three times a day — and that they should be doing more. Roy says that he’s using the first practice to gauge his fighters’ skills and levels of technique, but it sounds they didn’t get the memo.

After the training sessions it’s time for the fight announcement where Roy Nelson declares that Neil Magny’s birthday present will be a match against his team member, Cameron Diffley. Roy tells us that after seeing Neil be put in a lot of bad positions during his fight to get into the house, he feels that Cameron (a jiu-jitsu instructor for guys like Forrest Griffin and Amir Sadollah) will be able to submit him easily. Shane Carwin thinks this is a bad fight — for Cameron. Everyone else on Team Carwin agrees with him and believe their teammate will pick apart Diffley on the feet and give them control.

Back at the house Secor and Lane take their relationship to the next level by yelling and hurling a few expletives here and there. Basically it boils down to the classic, “You suck! No, you suck!” tête à tête amoureux that we all know and love. They eventually walk away, but soon meet again because they share a bedroom and sleep next to one another. They fight, they yell and sleep in the same room. Sounds like they’ve taken their relationship straight to the marriage stage.

We then see each respective team’s gameplans for the fight. Magny drills his boxing footwork and Coach Carwin talks about the importance of him using his jab. Cameron Diffley discusses his jiu jitsu skills, name drops a few fighters and Roy stresses how Cameron has to get the fight to the ground to win. Sandwiched in between these training clips, Julian Lane and Colton Smith prank Mike Ricci by dousing him in flour.

The Fight
Then it’s fight day! Shane Carwin informs us he won’t be in Magny’s corner because he’s not a professional coach and he wants Neil to have the best chance at winning even if it means setting his own ego aside.

As round one begins, Diffley is noticeably tentative. He’s flat footed and looks like he’s just walking into a sparring session. Magny tags him with jabs, walks him down and then throws more straight shots. They briefly tie up a few times, but Magny circles out and takes the center of the cage. Around the two minute mark, Diffley finally shoots, pulls guard and works his BJJ strength. He immediately throws up an armbar. Magny defends so he transitions to a kneebar and then a deep heel hook. Unable to get the tap, Diffley takes top position, but with less than a minute he’s can’t advance and the round ends.

Round two is all Magny. He beats Diffley to the punch consistently and appears to be hitting him at will. Diffley tries to pull guard a couple times, but Magny either muscles through or beats him up from top position and gets the break. The last minute and half is spent on the ground, but Magny smothers his opponent and the round ends. When Dana reads the judges scorecards, there’s no surprise that Neil Magny wins 20-18 across the board.

After the fight we briefly get the competitor’s reactions. Diffley takes the loss in stride. He knows he didn’t perform well and commits to improving his striking to takedown transitions. He is aided in his realization by Coach Roy, who yells at his team that they need to listen to him when he calls out for action. Magny reveals that the heel hook in the first had him worried but he’s excited to make it to the next step.

As the episode ends, we get a teaser for next week’s episode. Which fighter’s late-night whistling disturbs his house mates? Whose mattress gets thrown in the pool? Will Julian Lane and Matt Secor find actual creative ways to insult one another? Find out next week! Until then, here’s the season at a glance:

Team Carwin (1-0)
Sam Alvey
Bristol Marunde
Mike Ricci
Neil Magny (1-0, defeated Cameron Diffley by decision in episode 2)
James Chaney
Eddy Ellis
Igor Araujo
Matt Secor

Team Nelson (0-1)
Dom Waters
Michael Hill
Cameron Diffley (0-1, lost to Neil Magny by decision in episode 2)
Colton Smith
Jon Manley
Nic Herron-Webb
Joey Rivera
Julian Lane

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes the show @TUFonFX and check out some of my other work here. Also leave some comments, thoughts or possible insults on the page. If there’s one thing internet comment threads are good for, it’s insults.

The fans demanded it, the UFC brass commanded it and my wife…well….she was kind of apathetic about it. Regardless, Danny Boy Downes is back for another season of The Ultimate Recap (not quite so) Live!

The episode opens up with the usual movie-voice introductions. The Ultimate Fighting Championship is the premier mixed martial arts organization on the planet Earth where sixteen tributes from various districts must try to survive an annual survival match staged as a TV game show. I think I might have confused part of that with The Hunger Games, but you get the point.

Our coach introductions give us a general idea of who we’re dealing with this season: Shane Carwin is the powerhouse former champ, whereas Roy Nelson is a guy who beat Kimbo Slice and all-around pain in the ass.

Next, the 32 guys competing to get into the house come out for their Dana White “This is the biggest [expletive] fight of your life” speech. Dana tells the guys to put on exciting performances, and Big Country immediately contradicts him and tells the fighters to just win and get in the house. This is our first glimpse of how the Nelson/White relationship is looking for the season.

Carwin, meanwhile, takes the kindergarten teacher approach and tells the guys to have fun, make your children proud, hug your mommas and then hit each other. Now that I think about it, my teacher Mrs.Budvitis really should have been fired.

Then we get fights. A lot of fights. Here’s what happened in the episode… and then some information I’ve deemed pressing regarding some of the winners you’ll be following into the house.

Dom Waters vs. Kevin Nowaczyk
The first elimination fight doesn’t last long. The two exchange a couple of strikes and then Waters catches his opponent with a big 45° hook for the KO win. Fun fact: Waters was also an art major in college. I wonder if he could give his opinion of this portrait of Anderson Silva.

Michael Hill vs. Lev Magen
Another standup fight. Hill isn’t big on combos, but every muscle punch he throws has bad intentions. About 1:30 in, a haymaker finds its mark and he gets the finish. We’ll see if his time in the house teaches him anything about that whole technique thing.

Bristol Marunde vs. George Lockhart
This fight is a wrestling match that takes place mostly against the fence. Off a clinch release, Marunde’s opponent shoots in, gets caught in a guillotine and eventually passes out. Bristol describes himself as a “fight promoter” and “businessman/entrepreneur.” Sounds like he wrote the joke for me.

Mike Ricci vs. Jason South
When Ricci walks, out, everyone counts him out because of his pretty-boy look, but he proves the doubters wrong when he drops his opponent with a straight left and finishes with ground and pound. Dana says he,“Looks like an accountant, but doesn’t fight like one,” and dubs him The Accountant. Personally, I think he looks like Toby Maguire; but unfortunately, he doesn’t fight like Spider-Man.

Julian Lane vs. Diego Bautista
Lane reports in as our token loud, pink-hair guy. Lane throws a lot of high kicks and flash, eventually getting a takedown and controlling his opponent. Nelson calls the fight “interesting” while Dana describes it as an “absolutely horrible, boring decision.”

Igor Araujo vs. Cortez Coleman
Coleman beats up Araujo for the first round, then starts to fade away. Araujo takes the second soundly and forces it to the sudden victory round, where he ties up a triangle and gets the tap. After the fight he says, “My wife will be happy…that I’m not calling [her] tomorrow.” If there’s anything that can improve a relationship, it’s a lack of communication and going on a reality TV show.

James Chaney vs. Jerel Clark
Clark ties things up right off the bat so Chaney jumps and pulls guard. Chaney, who is a smaller yet still gangly version of Stefan Struve, shows a lot of slick moves transitioning from omoplata to triangle to armbar. Chaney eventually secures the tap out from the triangle choke 2.5 minutes in the first. Fun Fact: Chaney works in a meat factory and definitely looks like the kind of guy who walks around in a white apron covered in blood.

Cameron Diffley vs. Zane Kamaka
Diffley is introduced as the BJJ instructor at Xtreme Couture. He shoots in 30 seconds into the first round and slowly advances position to side mount before getting put on his back and throwing up a high guard. When Kamaka tries to slam his way out, Diffley transitions to armbar and gets the submission. Because, as we mentioned, he’s the BJJ instructor at Xtreme Couture.

Neil Magny vs. Frank Camacho
Camacho owns the opening round, beating him on the feet before taking him down and landing absolutely brutal shots. But Magny’s chin and cardio do him proud as he returns the beatdown to his gassed opponent in rounds two and three. Fun Fact: Magny’s day job is as a mental health counselor. Looks like he’ll pick up a lot of new clients this season.

Jon Manley vs. Ricky Legere, Jr.
This is a slow, grinding wrestling match. Dana doesn’t like the fight at all and wishes he could dump both of them. Manley gets the decision win, but has a lot to prove.

Colton Smith vs. Jesse Barrett
Smith looks like he’ll touch gloves then shoots in for double-leg to begin the fight. He spends the rest of the fight controlling from top position. Upon winning, he says that he’s going to win TUF “for the troops!” since he’s a military combatives instructor. Someone should explain to him what semper fidelis means.

Matt Secor vs. Max Griffin
Secor looks sloppy on the feet, and Griffin gets the better of the standup exchanges. Eventually Matt wises up and replaces his ugly spin-kick strategy with wrestling. On the ground, Secor takes a lot of damage, but hangs in there long enough to secure the triangle win. Fun fact: Secor lists his occupation as delivery guy for a Chinese restaurant which involves much more hand to hand combat than you would initially think.

Eddy Ellis vs. David Michaud
Ellis comes out strong and takes the first round utilizing elbows from top position. The second round has a little more back and forth and Ellis actually gets put on his back. But Ellis is able to secure an arm triangle from that position and get the tap.

Joey Rivera vs. Saad Awad
The two fighters slug it out in round one, then spend the next five minutes in what looks like an ugly high school wrestling match. Dana and the coaches are bored/unimpressed, but Rivera takes the decision.

Nic Herron-Webb vs. Tim Rubert
Herron-Webb gets put on the fence immediately. A few seconds later he gets thrown on his back and locks up half guard. He takes no damage for about four minutes then secures the armbar against Son of Malibu. Fun fact: Nic’s nickname is Nap-Time because he “likes to put people to sleep and take naps.” Fine by us, since Nap-Time is easier to spell out than Herron-Webb.

Sam Alvey vs. Leo Kuntz
From the get-go, we see the origin of the nickname “Smilin’ Sam” as this grinning ginger beams the entire time he’s walking out. (I fought on the local Wisconsin MMA circuit with Sam and yes, he really does smile that much.) Sam takes a few leg kicks and brushes off a takedown attempt. He continues to stalk his opponent, walks him down and drops him with a big right hook. Fun fact: His fiancé won the eleventh season of America’s Next Top Model – no word on whether her nickname is “Smizin”.

After all the fights we head immediately to the team selections. The first overall pick is Smilin’ Sam, chosen by Coach Carwin, while Big Country’s first pick is also a winner by KO, Dom Waters.

When Nelson takes Colton Smith, the self-proclaimed vanguard of the US military says “didn’t do it on purpose” in reference to his glove-touch fake-out. Hmm…. For the second season in a row, the kid with the novelty-colored Mohawk gets picked last, as Justin Lane follows in the footsteps of TUF Live’s Chris Saunders.

The teams shape up with picks in the following order, and we’re off to the races for another 12 weeks:

Team Carwin
Sam Alvey
Bristol Marunde
Mike Ricci
Neil Magny
James Chaney
Eddy Ellis
Igor Araujo
Matt Secor

Team Nelson
Dom Waters
Michael Hill
Cameron Diffley
Colton Smith
Jon Manley
Nic Herron-Webb
Joey Rivera
Julian Lane

The episode finishes with a preview of events to come and let’s just say that I’m very excited. Guys who like to fight + exaggerated notions of masculinity + cameras + booze + social isolation = television gold. You’re welcome.

That wraps up the first installment of The Ultimate Recap v2.0. Be sure to follow me on twitter @dannyboydownes the show at @TUFonFX and check out some of my other writing here. Also be sure to leave your comments on the page. Who will be the first one  to lose his dignity on television? My money is on Julian Lane.

That’s right boys and girls, Danny Boy Downes here to deliver you from the darkness with another edition of the Downes Side. Now I’m sure many of you are concerned with how my nuptials progressed, but fear no more. The entire sacrament was a resounding success. Not only did I manage to stay sober for (most of) the ceremony, but I was only the second most embarrassing white guy on the dance floor.

The UFC is back in the Mile-High City this weekend for an event that can only hope to feature more significant strikes than my wedding reception. The main event features lightweight champion Benson Henderson as he defends his belt against Frankie Edgar, a man who’s had more sequels than the Land Before Time movie. Regardless of the outcome, if we hold on together, I’m sure it’ll be a great night.

Justin Lawrence (4-0) vs Max Holloway (5-1)
The main card begins with a featherweight contest between Justin “The American Kidd” Lawrence and Max “Blessed” Holloway. A kickboxer with power to equal his ego, Lawrence made a successful UFC debut at the TUF Finale against fellow TUF Live cast member John Cofer. Holloway showcased his boxing ability with a decision win over Pat Schilling at the same event.

Neither one of these guys will bother taking this fight to the ground, so expect it to be a tale of two striking styles. Lawrence is a power puncher who throws single, hard shots; Holloway has less power, but throws more combos and targets the body. Provided the drop from light to featherweight doesn’t faze the 22-year-old, Lawrence’s one-punch power will be the difference here. He’ll withstand a number of Holloway’s attacks, get the KO in the third and prove that his UFC career will be much more successful than the show Brotherly Love.

Yushin Okami (26-7) vs Buddy Roberts (12-2)
We move to the middleweight division for Yushin “Thunder” Okami and Buddy Roberts. Roberts has just one Octagon bout under his belt: a decision over Caio Magalhaes, plus one almost-fight scrapped in February when his opponent was injured backstage minutes before their fight. But Buddy got a big step up after his booked opponent for UFC 150 and Okami’s (Brazilian leg-destroyer Rousimar Palhares) were both injured. Okami is out to find the right track after losses to Anderson Silva and Tim Boetsch (in “The Barbarian’s” comeback-of-the-year performance at UFC 144).

While Okami’s inabilty to finish cost him against Boetsch, Roberts doesn’t have the same night-ending power. Roberts did show nice defensive wrestling and “sprawl and brawl” in his fight, but Okami is a whole different level. “Thunder” will utilize his jab, get Roberts against the fence, and grind the night away. Roberts will survive the fight, but he’ll probably want to avoid family portraits for the next couple of weeks. Okami by UD

Jake Shields (27-6-1) vs Ed Herman (20-8)
We stay in the middleweight division for Jake Shields and Ed “Short Fuse” Herman. After a disappointing stint at welterweight, Shields returns to the 185-lb division for the first time since defending his Strikeforce title in 2009. Herman has been on a tear of his own — after a knee injury kept him out of the Octagon for almost two years, he’s finished his last three opponents and looks to be at the top of his game.

Herman’s aggressive style seems to play right into Shields’ usual method of attack. While he does stay active and attack his grounded opponents, Shields isn’t exactly known for inflicting damage. His cardio has also hurt him on a number of occasions — if only he had as much stamina as I did on my wedding night. The move back up to middleweight will give him more in the gas tank, but he’ll still fade by the third, especially considering the bout’s at high altitude (which may be why there are no guys bigger than 185 on the card… remember UFC 135’s heavyweight fiascos?!). This will give Herman a distinct edge as the fight wears on, but it’ll be too little, too late. Shields wins 29-28

Donald Cerrone (18-4) vs Melvin Guillard (30-10-2)
Next up is the much-anticipated lightweight bout between Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone and Melvin “The Young Assassin” Guillard. Former teammates, the fight looks to be as entertaining as the buddy cop pilot they filmed a couple years ago (or should have, anyway). After two straight first-round submission losses, Guillard showed a bit more patience in his fight against Fabricio Camoes at UFC 148, working his way to a UD victory. After losing to Nate Diaz, Cowboy picked apart Jeremy Stephens in May and is now clamoring for a fight against Anthony Pettis.

Seeing Melvin abandon the “only flying knees” strategy he used against Jim Miller is definitely a sign of progress, but he still has work to do to beat Cowboy. “The Young Assassin” does have the speed and footwork advantage, but he also has a penchant for throwing single shots. I’ve never understood Cowboy’s coming-right-atcha footwork but it’s hard to argue with results. Walking straight into the fire hurt him against Diaz, but it’s the best strategy against Guillard. Melvin struggles when people get in his face and it causes him to make mental mistakes. Add in that Guillard wasn’t able to make weight for this bout, and his confidence could already be shaky. Though Melvin is now working with the Blackzilians, his submission defense still has to be called into question. Cowboy will get in Melvin’s face, force him to panic and open the door to a 3rd-round submission.

Benson Henderson (16-2) vs Frankie Edgar (14-2-1)
That brings us to the main event of the evening. After a closely contested fight in February, Edgar utilized the patented “I had to do it, why shouldn’t he?” strategy to earn himself a rematch for the lightweight title. That never worked for me with my mom growing up, but Dana White listened and gave the NJ native just what he wanted. After losing his title at WEC 53, “Smooth” Benson Henderson has run a gauntlet through the UFC with wins over notables such as Clay Guida, Jim Miller, Mark Bocek and this guy Frankie Edgar.

The battered-looking Edgar may have lost the UFC 144 bout convincingly if it were held under Stockton rules, but it was a much closer contest than a superficial glance would suggest. The rematch will be equally back-and-forth. Edgar will mix up strikes and takedowns; he’ll even get Henderson on the mat. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to keep him there. On the feet, Bendo will bring the single-shot power to land more significant strikes. It’ll be another close one, but Smooth takes it by split.

That wraps up another ontologically perfect edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes and leave some comments, thoughts and favorite Land Before Time memory on the page, too. I still can’t believe what happened to Littlefoot’s mom….

That’s right boys and girls, Danny Boy Downes here for the final Downes Side….of my bachelorhood. I know this news disappoints many of you almost as much as my predictions, but c’est la vie. Believe me, I tried to convince my future wife that it’s my duty to humanity that I share my “gifts” with as many people as possible but she does not seem to share my progressive views with regards to polyamory.

As I stand at the altar in San Diego, the second most important event in California will be taking place as the Ultimate Fighting Championship rolls into the Staples Center in Los Angeles for UFC on Fox 4. Earlier this week, Dana White informed us that the light heavyweight who wins the main or co-main event most impressively will likely potentially maybe probably perhaps become the number-one contender for the title. Now some people question this move, but everyone questioned my choice of wedding cake, too. In the end, I’m confident everyone will concede to our expertise and be happy.

Mike Swick (14-4) vs DaMarques Johnson (15-10)
After being laid up with injury and illnesses for over two and a half years, TUF 1 alum Mike “Quick” Swick returns to the Octagon. Looking to spoil his comeback is TUF 9’s DaMarques Johnson. Johnson seeks to get some momentum after alternating wins and losses in his last few fights; most recently a second-round submission loss to John Maguire in April.

The big factor here will be Swick’s “cage corrosion.” Yes he’s been training, yes he feels great, but a UFC fight is a lot like ye olde English countryside — as much as you try, you can never truly recreate it. It will behoove “Quick” to slow his roll so he can get his legs under him. To counter this, Johnson will want to use his aggressive style and pressure Swick as soon as the bell rings. Paradoxically, this will be a bigger mistake than giving the Downes family an open bar. The majority of Johnson’s losses are by submission and Mike Swick has one of the best guillotine chokes in the game. “Quick” lives up to his moniker and puts this one away with a first-round tapout.

Joe Lauzon (21-7) vs Jamie Varner (20-6-1)
Next up we have a lightweight contest between Joe “J-Lau” Lauzon and the newly resurgent Jamie Varner. The submission ace from Bridgewater, Massachusetts looks to get back on the winning track after falling victim to an Anthony Pettis head-kick KO at UFC 147. After getting his walking papers from the organization after WEC 53, Jamie Varner had the comeback of the year performance against then-undefeated next-big-thing Edson Barboza at the end of May. Given recent events, Varner should seriously consider changing his nickname to Lazarus. (Either that or Neil Diamond.)

In the striking department, Varner has a slight advantage. Lauzon’s boxing has steadily improved, though, plus he has the chin to weather whatever Jamie Varner can throw at him. When you compare their grappling, Lauzon has a clear advantage. Despite Varner’s wrestling credentials, he has been taken down and submitted a number of times. As the fight goes on, Varner’s cardio (which has hurt him before) will come into play and make it easier for “J-Lau” to get him to the ground. I took a couple theology courses in college and the one thing about Lazarus that most people don’t know is that after coming back from the dead, he died about 2.5 months later. Varner will suffer a similar fate — I see J-Laz getting subbed by J-Lau in the 3rd.

Lyoto Machida (17-3) vs Ryan Bader (14-2)
That brings us the first potential number-one contender fight of the evening. Main event 1A features Lyoto Machida and Ryan Bader. It’s “The Dragon’s” first return to the Octagon since losing to Jon Jones in December. While Joe Rogan may have proclaimed the “Machida era” in 2009 it’s been about as successful as the New Coke era. On the other side, the “Darth” era has gotten off to a better start with wins over Jason Brilz and Rampage over the last year. I suppose makes him more like the flavored water of the early 90s

Machida may be a BJJ black belt, but there’s no way he gets the submission. Bader’s wrestling is far too superior and he’s just plain stronger than Machida. Having said that, he’s totally outgunned on the feet. If they had a bench press competition, Bader would win hands down, but that doesn’t mean as much as you’d think in a fight. Danny LaRusso had about as much upper body strength as a young Danny Downes, but he still won the All Valley tournament. Why? BECAUSE KARATE’S BACK! Machida KOs him in the 3rd.

Mauricio Rua (20-6) vs Brandon Vera (12-5)
That brings us to main event 1B as Mauricio “Shogun” Rua returns to the Octagon for the first time since his November Fight of the Year loss to current title challenger Dan Henderson. His opponent, Brandon “The Truth” Vera, looks to earn a shot at the belt after narrowly beating Eliot Marshall at UFC 137. In my opinion, I think they should change the name of the card to The Bachelor: 205-lb Edition. Not only would it be ratings gold, but we’d get to see Dana White and Joe Silva talk about their feelings in a hot tub.

Much like Brandon Vera, I long for the days of 2006. It was a simpler time. Cropped jackets were fashionable, The Departed was released and this song was cruising up the charts. It was also the year Brandon Vera finished all three of his opponents in the UFC. Since then, he’s only finished one opponent in ten matches. Unfortunately for Vera and Doc Brown, there is no time machine. Shogun will get the better end of the striking exchange and this will force Vera to try to use his clinch to control him. Rua is more than capable of dealing with it, he’ll be able to break the lock, return it to the center of the cage and continue to wear Vera out. As his fight with Thiago SIlva showed us, Brandon Vera does not finish easily and Rua will batter “The Truth” for 25 minutes en route to a UD victory.

Well, that wraps up the last pre-nuptial edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow my on Twitter @dannyboydownes and check out my reviews here. Also, make sure to leave your thought, comments, and tips for consummation on the page as well. I’ll even try to get a couple comments in, too. You can’t be a neglectful husband your whole marriage unless you start on day one.

That’s right boys and girls, Danny Boy Downes here to lift your spirits with another edition of the Downes Side. Unfortunately, I’ll probably miss the fights since I’ll be at my bachelor party. I have told all the attendees to eschew the exotic dancers and beer and instead we will have some Chianti, discuss Coltrane albums and play Pictionary. I’m sure they’ll respect my wishes and a rousing — but in no way arousing — time will be had by all.

Tonight the UFC invades the Scotiabank Saddledome (which sounds almost as classy as my fraternal gathering) in Calgary, Alberta, Canada for UFC 149. The main event places the UFC interim bantamweight championship on the line as Urijah “The California Kid” Faber takes on Renan Barao. Much like Pictionary, whoever wins this match needs quick reflexes, a sharp mind and the ability to adapt. Not only will the winner walk away with the title, but I also hear he gets to meet Alan Thicke.

Chris Clements (11-4) vs Matthew Riddle (6-3)

The main card begins with TUF 7 alum Matthew Riddle as he takes on Team Tompkins’ Chris Clements at welterweight. All of Riddle’s professional fights have taken place in the Octagon where he has used his strong wrestling base to defeat his opponents. A versatile striker, Clements rides a five fight win streak (4 via TKO or KO), the most recent being a close split decision win over Keith Wisniewski in April.

In his last fight, Riddle decided to slug it out with Henry Martinez and was on the losing end until he decided to finally use his wrestling. Following that same game plan in this fight would be a worse idea than paying for strippers with a personal check. Clements showed a lot of holes in his grappling game against Wisniewski and that plays into Riddle’s strengths perfectly. He’ll do the smart thing here, get the takedown and grind out a UD win.

Brian Ebersole (50-14-1) vs James Head (8-2)

Next up is another welterweight match between Brian “Bad Boy” Ebersole and James Head. Known for his ground and pound and expertly manicured chest hair, Ebersole is undefeated in his UFC career. A Golden Gloves boxer with a solid BJJ game, Head appears to have no chest hair, which is no big deal. There are plenty of adult males who love Pictionary that haven’t grown chest hair.

Both of these fighters are evenly matched on the feet so his fight will come down to clinch work and wrestling. Bearing that in mind, Ebersole will be too much for Head to handle. While Head does have a solid submission game, Ebersole has squared off against other grappling aces such as Dennis Hallman, Chris Lytle and TJ Waldburger without difficulty. Ebersole gets top position in the 2nd and puts this one away.

Cheick Kongo (17-7-2) vs Shawn Jordan (13-3)

We move up to the heavyweights as six-year UFC veteran Cheick Kongo faces off against newcomer Shawn “The Savage” Jordan. Kongo looks to rebound after a big KO at the hands of everyone’s favorite verbose fighter Mark Hunt. Jordan had an impressive UFC debut with a TKO of Oli Thompson and gets a big step up in competition. A former Div-1 fullback at LSU, Jordan is one of the most athletically gifted fighters in the division.

Kongo has an overwhelming advantage in terms of experience and pure striking. He has had a problem with slow starts, though, and this will cost him the fight. Unless he’s able to pull off another counter-punch comeback like he did against Pat Barry, I see Jordan pressing forward, keeping Kongo in his heels and finishing him in the 2nd round.

Hector Lombard (31-2-1) vs Tim Boetsch (15-4)

That brings us to the co-main event of the evening as Tim “The Barbarian” Boetsch looks to derail the Hector Lombard hype train. Undefeated since dropping down to 185, Boetsch tested the limits of Joe Rogan’s adjectives with his comeback win over Yushin Okami at UFC 144. A black belt in both judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Hector Lombard has won his last 25 fights and will most likely earn a shot against champion Anderson Silva with a win over Boetsch.

I like to to root for the underdog, sometimes even when it defies all logic. When I saw Back to the Future, I honestly thought that George McFly had a chance against Biff.  Well, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m taking Lomabrd by first round TKO. Boetsch’s slow start may not have cost him against Okami, but Lombard hits much, much harder. He’ll catch “The Barbarian” with an overhand right early and that will be the beginning of the end. On the bright side, Lombard seems much more likable than Biff Tannen.

Urijah Faber (26-5) vs Renan Barao (28-1)

We now come to the main event of the evening. Former WEC champ Urijah Faber looks to reclaim some MMA gold while Renan Barao looks to keep his 7 year unbeaten streak going strong. In the interest of full disclosure, Faber did buy me lunch once. The sandwich was underwhelming, though, so I don’t see it influencing my decision.

Barao showed a great template for beating Faber in his last fight against Scott Jorgensen. He was able to use to his strikes to keep the distance and utilize great takedown defense en route to a decision victory. Having said that, Faber is quicker than Jorgensen and possesses better striking. I don’t see Faber being able to hold down Barao, but I do see him changing levels and having enough speed to throw the Brazilian off his game plan. As the fight drags on to the championship rounds, “The California Kid” will slowly gain more momentum as Renan slowly loses it. It may not be as pretty as his jaw line, but Faber wins this fight by unanimous decision.

That wraps up another edition of the Downes Side where I have proved once again deserving of my title as the F. Scott Fitzgerald of MMA. Be sure to follow my on Twitter @dannyboydownes and check out my reviews here. Also be sure to leave your comments, thoughts and Pictionary suggestions on the the page as well. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to making my hors d’oeuvres for tonight.

That’s right boys and girls, Danny Boy Downes is back for a mid-week edition of the Downes Side. Now, while some people complain about having fights on a Wednesday, I think they’re a great idea. Not only are they far better than sitcom repeats, but it’s trivia night at the sports bar by my house. Much like Jon Anik and Kenny Florian, geography questions and MMA go together perfectly.

This week the UFC rolls into San Jose, CA (whose highest elevation is 2135 feet) for UFC on FUEL TV. Hopefully the fighters on the night’s card have a more successful trip to San Jose than I did last summer. I was there for a friend’s wedding, had a few too many “Diet Cokes” to drink and ended up telling explicit jokes in front of my in-laws. Ultimately, though, they’re still footing the bill for the wedding this summer so I guess it wasn’t a total loss…

Rafael Dos Anjos (16-6) vs Anthony Njokuani (15-6)

The main card begins in the lightweight division between Anthony “The Assassin” Njokuani and Rafael Dos Anjos. Njoukuani has alternated wins and losses in his last six fights and is looking to get some momentum. Known for his striking, I’ll always remember him as the guy that punted Chris Horodecki at WEC 45. Dos Anjos is a BJJ black belt who’s also looking to step up the division ladder after a couple tough breaks against Clay Guida and Gleison Tibau.

It’s no secret that the key for Njokuani is to stay standing. He has struggled against grapplers in the past and that will continue here. Dos Anjos may be at a striking disadvantage, but he surpasses his opponent in every other aspect. He’ll be able to avoid the knockout blow, get the takedown and submit the “Assassin” in the 2nd.

T.J. Dillashaw (5-1) vs Vaughan Lee (12-7-1)

We drop down to the bantamweight division as TUF alum T.J. Dillashaw takes on some English school alum Vaughan Lee. Both fighters are coming off big wins after dropping their UFC debuts. Both skilled grapplers, this will be a test of Dillashaw’s wrestling and Lee’s jiu-jitsu.

Dillashaw has been quoted as saying that Lee’s BJJ is “overrated.” I find that to be a bit of an overstatement, and that’s coming from the guy that once called the Grand Canyon “underwhelming.” Despite this incorrect assessment, TJ won’t struggle in the fight. He’ll be able to control Lee, keep him on his back and get the unanimous decision victory.

Karlos Vemola (9-2) vs Francis Carmont (18-7)

Next we head to the middleweight division for a bout between Francis “Limitless” Carmont and Karlos “The Terminator” Vemola in a bout sure to pour gasoline on the long feud between French-born Canadians and Czech-born Brits. Carmont is on a seven fight win streak (including 2-0 in the UFC) and former heavyweight Vemola is a six-time Czech Republic National Wrestling champion. That’s impressive, right? Also, Carmont’s cornerman is GSP.

Much like the Dos Anjos/Njokuani fight, this one will come down to who’s the more well-rounded fighter. Vemola has brute force and a solid chin, but he lacks Carmont’s overall package (which I hear is impressive). Carmont will be able to pick apart Vemola on the feet and brush off his takedown attempts en route to a unanimous decision win.

Aaron Simpson (11-3) vs Kenny Robertson (11-1)

That leads us to Aaron “A-Train” Simpson’s welterweight debut as he squares off against Kenny Robertson who replaced Jon Fitch. Simpson is a powerful wrestler known for grinding his opponents. Robertson is known for…..well…..nothing off the top of my head. He’s from East Peoria, Illinois which is the place Joe Girardi played Little League. That’s impressive, right?

Roberston has finished his opponents in 10 of his 11 career wins, but struggled immensely against Mike Pierce at UFC 126. In that fight he was simply outmuscled, and — unless Simpson’s cut to his new weight goes termendously wrong — expect the same here. Simpson will be able to dictate the fight exactly as he wants. While not the most technical striker, one of his big bombs will find its target as he picks up the 2nd round TKO

James Te Huna (14-5) vs Joey Beltran (14-7)

We have another weight class debut as Joey “The Mexicutioner” Beltran makes his UFC foray into the light heavyweight division against James Te Huna. It only took one fight outside the organization to get the fan favorite back into the Octagon and he’s looking to begin a new stint in the UFC after recent struggles. James Te Huna has won three of four UFC appearances (all by knockout) and shown that not only can be a contender for the 205-pound strap, but that New Zealanders can be exceptionally violent.

Joey Beltran is a great guy. He even had fun Spanish nicknames for me when I hung out with him last year’s fighters summit (“pendejo” is a term of endearment, right?). Unfortunately, he’s overmatched here. Te Huna has better cardio and better striking. These two will stand toe to toe, slug it out and Te Huna will walk away victorious. Sure the fans will love it, but Beltran won’t love the UD loss.

Mark Munoz (12-2) vs Chris Weidman (8-0)

Which now brings us to the main event of the evening as all-around nice guy and “Filipino Wrecking Machine” Mark Munoz takes on probably-cool guy Chris “All-American” Weidman. Winner of four straight, Munoz is looking to make the case for a number-one contender spot with a win. His opponent will be a guy who surprised a lot of people with a win over Demian Maia in January… on 11 days’ notice. Both fighters are accomplished wrestlers who win their fights by getting their opponents to the mat.

When two wrestlers of this caliber face off against one another, we all know what happens — ugly striking fight. Seeing that this will be the case, I have to give the edge to Munoz. I’m not sure if he can beat Weidman in a bench press competition, but he definitely hits harder. Weidman’s striking defense has a lot of holes and he’ll get clipped and drop in the 3rd.

That wraps up another obscenely informative edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes and read my blog here. Also, be sure to leave your thoughts, queries and suggestions for trivia team names on the page, too. This time, try to keep the ethnic slurs to a minimum.