Author: By Dan Downes

Does somebody have a case of the Tuesdays? Well, don’t worry, Danny Boy Downes is here to chase those blues away with another edition of the Downes Side. Normally, I don’t like having fights during the week because I’m so busy doing important things you wouldn’t get. This week, though, I have to attend an Engaged Enrichment and Marriage Preparation retreat so it looks like I lucked out. I’m sure I’ll learn things about religion and stuff, but I’m betting there will be some dirty talk, so that’s a plus.

Jason MacDonald vs Tom Lawlor

The night kicks off inside Fairfax, Virginia’s Patriot Center with a middleweight contest between “Filthy” Tom Lawlor and Jason “The Athlete” MacDonald. Both are looking to rebound after first round losses in their last fights. MacDonald is an accomplished grappler with 19 of his 25 wins coming via submission. Ultimate Fighter season 8 alumnus Tom Lawlor has strong wrestling and boxing, but will forever be remembered for being this guy.

MacDonald is an excellent submission artist, but he’s struggled when opponents get top position on him. His last loss to Alan Belcher illustrates this perfectly. I don’t see him taking Lawlor down and expect the majority of this fight to be spent on the feet. This means “Filthy” Tom will be able to utilize his boxing advantage to pick apart “The Athlete” and eventually TKO him in the 3rd.

Igor Pokrajac vs Fabio Maldonado

Next up is a light heavyweight match between Igor Pokrajac and Fabio Maldonado. Pokrajac is riding a lot of momentum after knocking out Krzysztof Soszynski in 35 seconds last December. Team Noguiera’s Maldonado wants to get back in the winner’s circle after seeing his 11-fight winning streak end in June.

Sometimes, you’re just outmatched. I learned this lesson when I challenged Joseph Benavidez to see who could pick up more phone numbers at the local retirement home (seniors just love that guy). Pokrajac has an advantage with regards to clinching and wrestling, but not enough to make it a factor. Maldonado is a former pro boxer and he’ll make that readily apparent in this fight. He’s shown a proclivity for throwing body punches and will drop Pokrajac with one and ground and pound his way to a 2nd round TKO.

Yves Jabouin vs Jeff Hougland

The next fight pits a couple of bantamweights as Jeff “Hellbound” Houghland takes on Yves “Tiger” Jabouin. Just like I did with my future father-in-law, Jeff Hougland made a poor first impression in MMA, losing four of his first five. Things picked up for the Washington product, who hasn’t lost since 2005, and gives me hope for my situation. Undefeated since dropping down from featherweight, Jabouin is looking for a signature win after two straight split decisions.

I liked Hougland’s chances until I saw his comments in the pre-fight videos (skip to 1:35 mark). “Control the range” is basically code for, “try to survive as long as possible.” Now, I can respect this philosophy because I use the same one every time I go to a dance club. Unfortunately, though, Hougland’s chances surviving the stand up are about as good as me getting on America’s Best Dance Crew. Jabouin gets the TKO in the first, but I’m sure Hougland and I can find a niche somewhere.

Jeremy Stephens vs Donald Cerrone

We stay on the lower end of the scale with a lightweight bout between Jeremy “Lil’ Heathen” Stephens and Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone. Looking to climb a few rungs on the crowded 155 lb ladder, Stephens makes his 14th appearance in the UFC. With a record of 7-6 in those previous 13 fights, I think we can all say the highlight of his career was a UD victory over a man once called (by his mother) “the handsomest boy in the UFC,” a Mr. Daniel Downes. Cerrone experienced his first UFC defeat at the hands of Nate Diaz at UFC 141 and has no plans on repeating the experience any time soon.

Neither fighter has ever been knocked out and that streak continues. The volume punching of Diaz may have given Cerrone problems in his last fight, but that won’t be a problem against Stephens. “Lil Heathen” does have 14 TKO/KO victories, but he throws single, power shots. I see Cerrone using his range advantage to tag Stephens on the outside with straight punches and coast to a unanimous decision victory. It’ll be a tough loss for Stephens to take, but at least he’ll always have that win at the Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale to tell his grandkids about.

Amir Sadollah vs Jorge Lopez

Originally scheduled to take place at UFC 143, injuries forced both men to withdraw. Now, a few months later Ultimate Fighter 7 winner Amir Sadollah takes on Wanderlei Silva-trained Jorge Lopez in what should be an exciting welterweight contest. While well-rounded, both fighters are predominantly strikers. Sadollah has a more classic Muay Thai style that favors clinching, while Lopez is more of a counter striker.

I’ve learned a few things writing this column. 1) People assume Dana White actually reads this and plead for him to fire me. 2) Much like Nietzsche, John Keats and James Joyce, I’m a misunderstood author whose true brilliance is often under-appreciated. 3) Never bet against guys trained by Brazilians because the majority of the times I’ve done so, it’s turned out poorly. So, unlike all those times I got sick eating Play-Doh as a kid, I have learned from my mistakes and take Lopez as he counter strikes his way to a unanimous decision.

Chan Sung Jung vs Dustin Poirier

That brings us to the main event of the evening as Chan Sung Jung (that’s right, Korean Zombie isn’t his birth name) squares off against Dustin “The Diamond” Poirier. Best known for his slugfest debut against Leonard Garcia at WEC 48, the Korean Zombie is undefeated in the UFC and carrying high expectations after knocking out former number one contender Mark Hominick in 7 seconds at UFC 140. The twenty-three year old Poirier is also undefeated in his UFC career and recently submitted Max Holloway in the first round.

I won’t deny the impressiveness of the Korean Zombie’s knockout in his last fight. Despite its impressiveness, though, it was an aberration. It’s just like the time I ate Taco Bell and didn’t spend the next 5 hours on the toilet. Sure, you want to enjoy the moment, but don’t expect it to happen every time — especially when you have a long car ride planned (literary….genius). While the Zombie does have the advantage standing, Poirier is capable enough to survive the onslaught. Jung will tire himself out and “The Diamond” will take advantage of this in the later rounds en route to a decision victory, thus ensuring Dustin “The Diamond” a longer career than Dustin Diamond.

That wraps up another edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes and read my blog here. Also, feel free to leave your thoughts, comments and delusions here as well.

Despite the deadly combo of cheap tequila and even cheaper tacos, I survived last weekend. It may have taken down a lesser man, but I, Danny Boy Downes, will let nothing stand in my way in my mission to deliver the #1 internet recap column written by a UFC veteran concerning an MMA-based reality show which airs on FX Friday evenings. It’s certainly no easy feat, but heavy lies the crown.

After recapping last week’s events, they preview the night’s quarterfinal matches with movie preview guy’s voice. I think the the UFC should utilize this effect a lot more. Imagine the possibilities:

In a world…gone crazy….where nothing seems to make sense….one man…stands alone….and….asks the hard questions.

We see James Vick’s training and all the Team Cruz coaches are very positive about his chances. Dominick says that he sees Vick making it all the way to the finals and the assistant coaches all nod their heads in agreement.

Dana White walks in and you know something is up because he’s using his serious voice. He wastes little time getting to the point and says that he’s here for, “The bad [expletive]” and you hear the sad piano music in the background. I don’t know about you, but I was thinking Sarah McLachlan was going to walk out and ask us to donate money to something. Sadly, I was mistaken and Dana then informs both teams that Dominick Cruz has torn his ACL and while he’ll stay around to coach the remainder of the season, he will not be fighting Urijah Faber. Everyone is obviously bummed about the news, but the eternal optimist Chris Tickle wants Cruz to know “that he has us now.” And I think we all know how great of a comfort that must be.

We cut to Proctor’s training and Coach Faber knows that beating Vick will be no easy task. He calls him a “wildcard” and is not sure what the full depth of his skills really are. Despite this, they still organize a gameplan based on getting close, smothering Vick’s reach advantage and going for the takedown.

We proceed directly to the fight and Proctor fails to execute his gameplan in the first round. Vick pops his jab at will and Proctor continuously moves backwards. He throws a lot of overhand rights at Vick, but the majority of them miss their mark. This continues for the rest of the round Vick takes the first no problem.

In round two, Proctor knows it’s do or die time and comes out much more aggressively. He finally starts to follow the gameplan and closes the gap and his punches start to find their mark. At the 3:45 mark, Vick gets caught in what could best be described as a rear naked choke/WWE sleep hold hybrid. Despite the awkward angle of the choke, it’s deep and it looks like the fight might soon end. Vick is able to escape, though, and round two ends. Vick winds up winning the decision and moves on to the semifinals.

Read quarterfinal fight play-by-plays.

The focus then shifts to the second match of the night between Michael Chiesa and Justin Lawrence. Faber wants to exploit the reach advantage on the standup, but Chiesa wants to bring this to the ground. He says that Lawrence’s ground game “sucks.” Urijah takes a more diplomatic stance saying that, “I don’t think his ground game sucks, but it isn’t very good.” Chiesa also brings more of an edge this fight saying that Lawrence has put himself on a pedestal and he wants to knock him off it.

In the next scene, you see exactly what he means. Lawrence talks about how everyone calls him a natural athlete, but he’s had to work hard to get to where he is. It’s not so much what he says, but how he says it. You can’t help but think, “Wow, I’d really like to see this guy get punched in the face.” Well, either that or you hope that he’ll gain 40 lbs and they bring back the show COPS just so you can see him get arrested wearing jean shorts with his shirt off.

Round one begins with Lawrence immediately throwing kick and losing his balance. Chiesa jumps on this opportunity and ties him up. He soon gets behind Lawrence and jumps in his back to bring him down. Lawrence is able to turn over and get in Chiesa’s guard. Despite being on his back Chiesa throws up multiple submission attempts including armbars, triangles chokes and kimuras. A lot of them come close and Coach Cruz yells at Lawrence to “get out of there!” He’s unable to follow the advice as Chiesa locks in a triangle and starts to throw some elbows. Fortunately for Lawrence, the bell rings and he lives to see the second round.

Round two allows Lawrence to showcase his superiority in the standup game. He tags Chiesa and avoids getting to the ground once he decides to focus on his boxing and stops throwing kicks. With one minute left, he drops Chiesa with a couple body shots, but then foolishly rushes into his guard. Chiesa is able to hold on to him, recover and wait out the end of the round.

The “sudden victory” round sees Lawrence get an early takedown, but he is soon reversed by an elementary jiu jitsu sweep. This puts Chiesa in full mount and Lawrence is too winded to put up a decent defense as Chiesa ground and pounds his way into the semifinals.

After the obligatory Jon Anik post fight interview we then get next week’s matchups. The third quarterfinal fight will pit Vinc “too cool for the letter e” Pichel against Chris Saunders. The fourth and final fight will be a a match between teammates and guys that talk funny as England’s Andy Ogle takes on Lawn Guyland’s Al Iaquinta. How will Dominick Cruz’s injury affect his coaching? Will Team Faber be torn apart by having teammates fight? Will a fighter FINALLY urinate on someone/something? Find out this and more, next week on The Ultimate Fighter: Live!

In the meantime, follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTUF and catch my blog here. Also, be sure to leave some comments on the article. I’d as for suggestions, but when you’re already the #1 internet recap column written by a UFC veteran concerning an MMA-based reality show which airs on FX Friday evenings, there isn’t much room for improvement.

Team Cruz (4-6)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-1) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3; TKOd by Mike Chiesa in episode 10
Vinc Pichel – (1-0) submitted John Cofer in episode 7; scheduled to fight Chris Saunders in the quarterfinals of episode 11
Mike Rio – (0-1) lost via submission to Andy Ogle in episode 9
Sam Sicilia – (0-1) lost a split decision to Chris Saunders in episode 8
Chris Tickle – (0-1) lost via submission to Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (2-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2; won a unanimous decision over Joe Proctor in episode 10

Team Faber (6-4)
Mike Chiesa
– (2-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5; TKOd Justin Lawrence in episode 10
John Cofer – (0-1) lost to Vinc Pichel in episode 7
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4; scheduled to fight Andy Ogle in the quarterfinals of episode 11
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle – (1-0) submitted Mike Rio in episode 9; scheduled to fight Al Iaquinta in the quarterfinals of episode 11
Joe Proctor – (1-1) submitted Chris Tickle in episode 6; lost a unanimous decision to James Vick in episode 10
Chris Saunders – (1-0) beat Sam Sicilia by split decision in episode 8; scheduled to fight Vinc Pichel in the quarterfinals of episode 11

That’s right boys and girls, time for another edition of the Downes Side. Glad that you’re spending Cinco de Mayo reading the #1 predictions-based article series by a former UFC fighter on ufc.com (the numbers don’t lie).

Unlike Arrested Development, the UFC is back on network television for a stacked card at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Missing UFC live events usually causes me to sit at home and drown my sorrows in ice cream and Cosmos, but this one will be especially tough because I have four friends fighting on the card. Why do I mention this? Because I have UFC friends and you don’t.

Pat Barry vs Lavar Johnson
The main card kicks off with a heavyweight contest between Lavar “Big” Johnson and Pat “HD” Barry. In 21 professional fights, Johnson has never seen a decision. Also, he is the first person to ever finish Joey Beltran — a man once thought to be un-KOable. The always-exciting Barry is coming off a first-round TKO of Christian Morecraft and seeks to improve a 4-4 career UFC record.

Frequent readers of this column know that Pat is a close friend of mine. We’ve trained together, been thrown out of bars together and he even gave me my first MMA-related concussion, and you never forget your…..wait…what was I talking about? Now, we know what Pat Barry hates,but what he loves are aggressive fighters who allow him to showcase his incredible counter-striking ability. Lucky for him — and regrettably for Johnson — Lavar is just the man for the job. “Big” Johnson’s lack of patience normally serves him well, but he has never faced someone of Pat’s ability. He goes down in the first and “HD” shows off his victory dance.

Rousimar Palhares vs Alan Belcher
Next up is a middleweight contest between Rousimar “Toquinho” Palhares and Alan “The Talent” Belcher. Known to gringos as Paul Harris, Toko is 7-2 in his UFC career and has a reputation for devastating leg locks and curious judgment calls. Alan Belcher returns to the Octagon after an impressive TKO of Jason MacDonald in his first fight back after multiple detached retina surgeries. Whoever wins this fight will earn a spot as one of the top-five 185 pounders and be within striking distance of a title fight.

I’m not one of those people who thinks Palhares is a one-trick pony. Yes, he’s more than a leg-lock specialist, but he’s overmatched here. Alan is another friend and former roommate whose only real weaknesses are that he fails to replace the glasses he breaks and never does the dishes. He definitely has the advantage on the feet, and people underrate his jiu-jitsu. He’s trained with world champion Joao Zeferino (whose specialty is also leg-locks) and brought in another BJJ world champion, Daniel Moraes, for this training camp. Couple that with the fact that I’ve seen Alan hold his own against Olympic wrestler Ben Askren, and he just has too many weapons for Palhares to handle. He’ll outstrike Palhares on the feet, which will cause “Toquinho” to close the gap and get it to the ground. Alan will counter, get top position and use the ground and pound we saw against MacDonald to earn a 2nd-round TKO.

Josh Koscheck vs Johny Hendricks
The next match features a welterweight contest between Josh Koscheck and Johny Hendricks. This fight features two men who everybody loves to hate. Koscheck for obvious reasons, and Hendricks for ruining bathroom breaks all over the world after his 12-second knockout of Jon Fitch in December. Koscheck has been disappointing lately. I don’t mean in terms of not being his usual Kos-bag self, because in that regard, he’s as strong as ever. But he looked meh in his last fight against Mike Pierce, but in his defense, if GSP made my face look like this, it would take me a while to get over it, too.

It seems that he’ll have to get over a sixth career loss because Hendricks takes this. Not only does he possess better knockout power than Koscheck, but he was also a Division-I wrestler at Oklahoma State, where he only lost one match his whole career. He’ll be able to take Koscheck down and deliver some punishment from top position. He won’t be able to finish our favorite MMA heel, but he’ll take the UD no problem. I just can’t wait for the Jersey insults Koscheck brings to the post fight interview.

Nate Diaz vs Jim Miller
That brings us to the main event of the evening. No fancy nicknames here, just two elite level lightweights looking to get their shot at the title. Nate Diaz rides a two-fight win streak after a dominant win over Donald Cerrone. After losing to Benson Henderson, Miller got back to his normal winning ways with a RNC victory of Melvin Guillard in January. A superior grappler, 12 of his 21 wins have come via submission.

This is one of the hardest predictions I’ve ever had to make. It’s always hard to pick against a guy that homebrews, but you never want to pick against a Diaz brother because…well….I enjoy my kneecaps. Miller’s boxing has improved steadily in his last few fights, but not enough to hang with 209. On the other hand, if there’s such a thing as Stockton kryptonite, it’s grinding wrestlers — Nate’s fight against Clay Guida being the best example. I see Miller getting the takedown and while he can’t submit the Cesar Gracie product, he’ll be able to smother him to a decision win. “I came here to fight, not hug,” and many other comments of similar ilk will multiply after this fight. While this may be an unfortunate Cinco de Mayo for Stockton faithful, if there’s one thing that the stained carpet in my living rooms proves, it’s that more tequila does not make things better.

Well, that wraps up another edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes and my blog  Not only will I be toasting to the victories of my friends (that you don’t have) tonight, I’ll also be enjoying May 5th the way that General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín would have wanted — with a Doritos Locos taco.

On this fifth day of May, Mexicans celebrate their victory at the Battle of Puebla, Americans are drink cervezas and margaritas for no reason and Belgians commemorate the anniversary of the opening of the first Continental European railway between Brussels and Mechelen. No matter where you live, though, I’m glad you are taking the time out to read The Ultimate Recap: Live!

After recapping last week’s fight between Sam Sicilia and Chris Saunders, we see the inside of the victorious Team Faber locker room. Saunders is obviously on an endorphin high because he calls himself a hero. A hero with pink hair? That would make for the worst superhero movie since Batman and Robin. Coach Faber then asks Andy Ogle if he’s ready for his upcoming fight against Mike Rio, and the Brit responds in a very half-hearted way. I haven’t heard that little enthusiasm from someone since I asked a girl to homecoming my sophomore year. Add that to the fact that on the day of the fight, he was sending tweets to his dad about buying watches, and I’m not feeling too good about his chances.

In the Team Cruz locker room, Michael Chiesa goes in to comfort his “Team Purple” buddy and Dominick tries to get Sicilia to keep his head up and learn from his losses. Despite the defeat, Sicilia manages to keep some perspective saying, “I’d rather lose that fight than have a killer day at the office.” Plus, the free-wheeling striker cracks one of the better jokes of the season blaming his loss on “too much technique.” Team Cruz’ Rio calls himself the “UK Hunter” since he’s facing Newcastle born Andy Ogle and eliminated another Brit to get into the TUF house. Heh, UK Hunter sounds like the worst action movie since….uh….Batman and Robin?

Next up we get this season’s coaches challenge. This year it’s sponsored by the United States Marine Corps and pairs obstacle course elements with shooting challenges involving fully automatic rifles and grenade launchers. Is all this testosterone really necessary? We already have a show dedicated to guys fighting each other in a cage, do we need guns and explosions? If they give me the power to control next season’s challenge, I’m going to petition for poetry slams or who does the best duet with Sarah McLachlan.

Anyway, Cruz takes an early lead on the rope climb and pistol shooting. Faber is able to gain some ground on the tire flip and automatic rifle, helping him catch up a little. It comes down to the wire with the M-32 Grenade Launcher, where Dom chokes and the “California Kid” wins, disappointing every pacifist vegan in his hometown. Dana White then walks out with a green bag, pulls $20,000 cash out of it and gives it to Urijah. You know, just his usual walking around money.

The show returns with a Twitter promo that features Brittney holding an iPad and an egregious shot of Brittney. No complaints. Then we hear Andy Ogle’s story, complete with subtitles. He calls himself an “adrenaline junkie” and says he enjoys having “all eyes on me.” Coach Faber says that the gameplan for this fight is for Ogle to vary his attack and avoid the takedown. Apparently his biggest weakness is wrestling, which is something we rarely see from British fighters.

Next up is Mike Rio’s story. An accomplished high school and college wrestler, Rio calls himself a “Boy Scout” who never really did bad things because he was too busy training.  If people are still worried about how his knee will affect him, Dominick puts that to rest saying that, “Personally, I think he’s 100%” It may be true, but if there’s one thing we’ve learned about Cruz this season, it’s that his coaching isn’t exactly the most sympathetic.

Dana White and both coaches then deliberate on how to set up the quarterfinal matches. Cruz muses that although he’d like to see some good, exciting matchups, it’s still a competition and he has to thinks strategically to advance his fighters. Faber counters with a solid  “Captain Obvious” slam. Weigh-ins come and go without issue and now it’s fight time.

Round one begins and Rio takes control of the cage moving forward. Unfortunately, that’s about all he does. For the first 2.5 minutes he doesn’t block a single punch and throws as many punches as I can count on one hand. Finally, halfway through the round he shoots on Ogle, but isn’t able to secure position. Ogle gets loose and returns to the center of the cage. Rio continues his perfect streak of blocking 0% of strikes, but earns another takedown as time expires.

Rio shows a bit more aggressiveness in round two and is able to land a few shots to get Ogle to backtrack. Ogle overcompensates for this slow start and begins to swing big which gives Rio an easy takedown. Rio advances position and take the back. Ogle reverses, gets top position, but doesn’t deliver any punishment worth of note. Amazingly, Rio then gives up his back and gets flattened out. Ogle softens him up with some ground and pound, sinks in a rear naked choke and Rio taps out.

Andy Ogle pulls a Jose Aldo and runs out the cage hugging everyone in sight. Once he gets back in he realizes that he has to go watch shopping and yells, “5 G’s baby!” which I suppose is a lot cooler than yelling, “3096.74 British pounds sterling baby!” Then it’s time for my favorite part of the TUF season — Jon Anik interviews. Ogle says some questionable things like, “Mike had good stand up,” and “Mike’s the nicest guy in the house, so if I could beat anyone in the house, I’m glad it was him.” Rio says that he ran his gas tank down, but I think having no punch defense was a bigger culprit.

The two quarterfinal matches are set for next week: James Vick vs Joe Proctor and Justin Lawrence vs Michael Chiesa. Who advances to the semifinals and comes one step closer to that UFC contract? Now that the first round is over, will the eliminated fighters continue to train? Will the quarterfinal fights be more entertaining than the movie Batman and Robin? Find out this and more next week on The Ultimate Fighter: Live!

In the meantime, follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTUF and catch my blog here.
Whether you’re celebrating military victories, eating fajitas for no reason or commemorating the opening of rail transportation, hopefully we can all unite under the fact that we want to see Josh Koscheck get punched in the face tonight.

Season at glance –

Team Cruz (3-5)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3; scheduled to fight Mike Chiesa in the quarterfinals in episode 10
Vinc Pichel – (1-0) submitted John Cofer in episode 7
Mike Rio – (0-1) lost via submission to Andy Ogle in episode 9
Sam Sicilia – (0-1) lost a split decision to Chris Saunders in episode 8
Chris Tickle – (0-1) lost via submission to Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2; scheduled to fight Joe Proctor in the quarterfinals in episode 10

Team Faber (5-3)
Mike Chiesa – (1-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5; scheduled to fight Justin Lawrence in the quarterfinals in episode 10
John Cofer – (0-1) lost to Vinc Pichel in episode 7
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle – (1-0) submitted Mike Rio in episode 9
Joe Proctor – (1-0) submitted Chris Tickle in episode 6; scheduled to fight James Vick in the quarterfinals in episode 10
Chris Saunders – (1-0) beat Sam Sicilia by split decision in episode 8

As April draws to a close and the flowers come in bloom, Danny Boy Downes here to brighten up your life with another edition of the Ultimate Recap: Live! When you think about it, my articles have a lot in common with flowers: They make you feel better, serve as a great “I’m sorry” present for your significant other, and lose all relevance after a couple weeks.

As the show opens, we recap last week’s fight between John Cofer and Vinc Pichel. For once, Dana actually agrees with the judges and approves of the decision to go to the third round where Pinchel eventually won via arm triangle. We get a glimpse into the post-mortem of the match and we see the coaches dealing with their respective fighters. Cruz is smiling again and shares his secret wisdom of, “make it a street fight.” While I personally don’t find that the most helpful strategy, it will come in handy once the UFC takes some hints from the show Robot Wars and adds a fire pit in the middle of the Octagon. Faber tries to comfort Cofer, who is clearly distraught at losing his big shot. Fortunately, he still has the presence of mind to flex those ab muscles hard during the interview. If there’s a coach who can teach you what to do with your shirt off, it’s Urijah Faber.

As they set up this week’s fight between Team Cruz’s Sam Sicilia and Team Faber’s Chirs Saunders, we first see Sam Sicilia hitting the heavy bag. Dominick Cruz compliments his punching strength and believes that he has the power to knock people out with every single one of his punches. Next, Strikeforce Women’s 135-lb champion Ronda Rousey walks in. She teaches the guys some of her Olympic-medal-winning judo moves which results in every guy on Team Cruz saying something to the extent of, “she’s a beast.” As Rousey and Cruz leave training, Faber quips that he hopes she took it easy on Dominick, which sets off another confrontation between the two coaches. Cruz comments that Faber only knows how to “throw overhand rights and guillotines,” then apparently starts the opening lap of the Parking Lot 500 as he peels out of there.

We then see the TUF house events during last week’s UFC 145 event. Rousey initially worries that she’s stepping into a lion’s den, remarking, “ I feel like the goat from Jurassic Park.” Fortunately for her, it is less of a frat party and more like a grade school dance. No one even sits next to her. While I completely approve of TUF guys acting like gentlemen and “leaving room for the Holy Spirit” as Fr. Fairbanks used to say, it does make for dull television. I mean, Rousey even gives Tickle a softball “salted nuts” reference and he does nothing. They never have these problems at the Real World House…

Next is a look into Team Faber’s training and the story behind Chris Saunders. Faber says that he has a lot of talent, but that his biggest weakness is “that he doesn’t believe in himself enough.” I’m surprised that Faber is that generous to him. I mean, Saunders calls himself “The SoCal Kid.” There has to be some type of gimmick infringement there. They say that their gameplan will be to tag and go and not stay in place engaging Sicilia.

As the show comes back from commercial, Jon Anik tells everyone to follow the show @InsideTUF and we get a gratuitous chest-centered camera angle on Britney Palmer. After the boobs, we see how the TUF guys pass their downtime with a montage of pranks that I have to say are pretty lame. Saran wrap on the sink? Supergluing Chapstick to dresser? Shorts in the freezer? Looks like the only reading material in the house is a set of practical joke books from the 1920s.

From there we get an insight into the life of Chris Saunders. He grew up impoverished and never had a stable family growing up. He lived in multiple foster homes and really struggled. A natural follow-up to the prank scenes.

Sam Sicilia then shares how he entered the MMA game. He admits that he didn’t take it too seriously at first but has really dedicated himself in the last year. He even discusses how he fought 11 times in the past year and 3 times in one month. Coach Cruz compares him to the Tasmanian Devil and says, “He’s green, but he’s so athletically gifted and all he does is go, go, go.” He then gives their gameplan and makes judicious use of adjectives, telling him to set a “stupid, ridiculous, obscene pace.” If they didn’t have to edit for time I’m pretty sure it would have continued with, crazy, awesome, unbelievable, ludicrous, erotic, absurd, unreasonable, impressive, lewd, cool, radical pace.

Interestingly enough, a lot of those adjectives apply to what happens next. Coach Faber’s teammates on Team Alpha Male move all the workout equipment into Team Cruz’s locker room and proceed to have an intense strength and conditioning session. In their underwear. As a prank on Dom. Perhaps the lack of understanding of what constitutes a good prank goes all the way to the top this season. Both teams and their assistant coaches then walk in on this. Cruz admits that it was “pretty smelly” while Chris Tickle is tickled by the goings on and looks like he wants to join. Let’s just review this: an attractive blonde MMA champion is their midst and they’re silent. Four guys jump around in their underpants and they all stare.

Weigh ins are uneventful and then it’s fight time. In round one, Sicilia shows his Tasmanian devil side and swings big repeatedly and pressures Saunders. They tie up on the cage and after reversing positions a couple times they break to the center, where Sicilia throws more bombs. Just past the halfway mark, Saunders lands a head kick that looks like it drops Sicilia cold. Bouncing his head off the mat must have woken him up, though, because he works his way to top position and tries for a darce choke until the round ends.

Sicilia still charges forward at the beginning of round two and embraces the Team Cruz philosophy of “make it a street fight.” Saunders has enough of this and starts working for takedowns more. He eventually gets one, but Sicilia soon gets back to his feet. Once there, he drops Saunders with a hook and pounces, looking to finish the fight. Saunders gets his wits about him quickly and reverses position. The fight ends, and I think we’re heading to round three for sure. The show comes back from (to my surprise) we have a decision– Saunders by split decision. Read fight results

Then our “Little Engine that Could” of MMA reporters Jon Anik climbs in and tries to get the fighters to open up. Saunders says that, “everything went exactly as I thought.” Apparently he thought he was going to get hit in the face a bunch. Sicilia says that he didn’t trust his wrestling enough and gives Anik the “leave me alone” look. Dana White returns to his judge-harshing ways, saying afterward: “Everyone but the judges believed this should have gone to a third round. I praise the judges when they do a good job and I rip the judges when they get it wrong. They got it wrong tonight. Both guys fought like hell and deserved a third round.” 

Next week is the final match of the first round as Mike Rio of Team Cruz faces off against Andy Ogle of Team Faber. How will Rio’s injuries affect him? Can Andy Ogle get his mental focus back? Why did Ogle wear that singlet? Will Chris Tickle one-up Team Alpha Male and start practicing naked? Find out this and more next week on The Ultimate Fighter Live!

In the meantime, follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTUF and catch my blog here. Also, make sure to leave some comments. Last week, someone said that my columns are uncreative and immature…but that’s not what his mom said.

Season at glance –

Team Cruz (3-4)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3
Vinc Pichel – (1-0) submitted John Cofer in episode 7
Mike Rio – scheduled to fight Andy Ogle in episode 9
Sam Sicilia – (0-1) lost a split decision to Chris Saunders in episode 8
Chris Tickle – (0-1) lost via submission to Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2

Team Faber (4-3)
Mike Chiesa – (1-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5
John Cofer – (0-1) lost to Vinc Pichel in episode 7
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle – scheduled to fight Mike Rio in episode 9
Joe Proctor – (1-0) submitted Chris Tickle in episode 6
Chris Saunders – (1-0) beat Sam Sicilia by split decision in episode 8

That’s right everyone, another weekend with TUF Live and a UFC event means another double dose of Danny Boy Downes! Even though Sweden may not take kindly to people who don’t like Filmjölk, it treated me fairly well as I went 4-2 in my predictions. That, and I was able to haul these bad boys back from the wedding shower. As a side note, I’ll take getting punched in the face in a cage over opening gifts in front of a room full of women anytime.

Speaking of which, it seems that the awkwardness/disdain between Rashad Evans and Jon Jones has subsided for UFC 145. The two were downright cordial at the presser earlier this week. If these two can put differences aside maybe there’s hope for Chael Sonnen and Anderson Silva…. okay, you’re right, that’s ridiculous.

Mark Bocek vs John Alessio
The main card kicks off with a lightweight contest between Mark Bocek (10-4) and John Alessio (34-14). Bocek earned a unanimous decision victory at UFC 140 against Nik Lentz, but is mostly known for his superb grappling ability where the majority of his victories (7 to be exact) have come via submission. A great all-around talent, Alessio has won 10 of his last 11 fights (losing only to Siyar Bahadurzada a year ago) and returns to the UFC for the first time since losing to Thiago Alves in 2006. Fun fact: that was the same year Big Momma’s House 2 skyrocketed to success.

Alessio is no slouch on the ground, but he has a significant advantage standing up. As long as he sticks to straight punches and doesn’t overcommit, he could squeeze out a decision victory. Much like Big Momma’s House 2, though, that sounds better on paper (Martin Lawrence + Fatsuit = genius). Bocek will be able to get his takedowns, control position and get the decision from the judges. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch some good 2006 movies like  this and this.

Mark Hominick vs. Eddie Yagin
Next we drop down to featherweight for Mark Hominick (20-10) vs. Eddie “The Filipino Phenom” Yagin (15-5). A former no. 1 contender, Hominick is currently on an uncharacteristic losing streak and Chan Sung Jung dropped him in 7 seconds in December. Yagin’s 15 wins are evenly distributed between KOs, submissions and decisions, and now he’s looking to get that first UFC win after losing in his debut at UFC 135.

Mark Hominick is one of the best, most technical strikers in MMA. People are trying to make his loss to the Korean Zombie bigger than what it really was — an aberration from a stellar career. Saying he has a glass jaw from one fight is like saying I wasn’t cool growing up because I played the flute in the school band. 1) Hominick was still standing after his fight against Jose Aldo and 2) Remember Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull? He’s all types of cool. Yagin gets KO’d in the second.

Miguel Torres vs. Michael McDonald
We then get the much anticipated return of Miguel Torres (40-4) as he takes on Michael “Mayday” McDonald (14-1). On top of the bantamweight division for a long time, Torres has had difficulty as of late going 3-3 in his last few bouts. McDonald, on the other hand, hasn’t lost since 2009 and is taking a big jump up in competition as he searches for his fourth UFC win.

At first glance, McDonald takes this all day. He’s younger, stronger and a rising star in the division. At first glance, people thought the Compact Disc was the pinnacle of music technology. Am I saying that McDonald is going to be obsolete in a few years? No. Am I saying that I still use my Discman? Maybe. Do I pray that McDonald comes out to “I Keep Forgettin”? You know it! Torres has the experience and is hungry for a win and takes this by decision.

Brendan Schaub vs. Ben Rothwell
The next fight is a heavyweight bout between Brendan “The Hybrid” Schaub and Ben Rothwell. Runner-up on season ten of The Ultimate Fighter, “The Hybrid” is looking to rebound after getting KO’d by Big Nog in August. Ben “Hybrid of a Viking and Roy Nelson” Rothwell is looking for redemption after his loss to Mark Hunt at UFC 135 in Denver proved that heavyweights should not be allowed to fight at elevation. Atlanta is only 1050 feet (that’s 320m for my metric system friends) above sea level, so this one shouldn’t be too bad.

Full disclosure: I’ve trained and hung out with Ben Rothwell here in Wisconsin, so I’m not exactly an unbiased observer. Normally in this case I throw the predicting job to my Grandma Murphy, but she’s currently recovering from a broken hip (this is actually a true statement). In lieu of that I’ll leave you with a fun anecdote. When he was a teenager, Ben Rothwell once jumped a guy working behind the counter at a Taco Bell who he felt was insulting him. While there may not be any video evidence of this occurrence, I imagine it looked something like this.

Rory MacDonald vs. Che Mills
The co-main event of the evening pits Rory “Ares” MacDonald (12-1) against “Beautiful” Che Mills (14-4). Coming off a TKO victory against Mike Pyle, MacDonald hails from Kelowna. At first I thought it was a Hawaiian Island but it’s actually in British Columbia. There are similarities, though, seeing that both places grow things. Hawaii has macadamia nuts, pineapples, coffee, and guavas while British Columbia grows marijuana. Mills was born in Gloucester, England which….uh…..has the largest ice cream factory in Europe (hey, they all can’t be winners). He made his UFC debut with a 40-second TKO win that earned him a co-main shot against the Canadian kid they’re calling the next GSP.

Before injuring his knee in November, MacDonald was one of the fastest-rising stars in the division, and I expect him to continue that momentum. Mills is strong striker with an excellent clinch. Unfortunately, his attempts to utilize the clinch will allow MacDonald to get close, get the takedown and deliver the punishing ground and pound we saw him use in his fight against Pyle. MacDonald via TKO in the 1st.

Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans
That brings us to the main event of the evening. Rashad Evans has won four straight since losing to Lyoto Machida (his only loss) and people still aren’t giving him the respect he deserves, which further cements him as the lunch lady of MMA. Jon Jones has experienced a meteoric rise in the UFC en route to becoming the light heavyweight champion and undefeated. Well, except for that whole illegal elbow thing, but I’m pretty sure that’s like my cousin Lindsay’s police record as a minor — it’ll get expunged after a few years.

When the Evans vs Jones hype was coming around the first time, I had Jones. That is, until Rashad’s fight against Phil Davis made me a believer. Now, Phil Davis isn’t at Jon Jones’ level, but he’s still an excellent fighter. Plus, I honestly believe the fact that they trained together gives Rashad an advantage in the sense that he doesn’t give into the mythos of Jon Jones. This will be a close, back and forth fight. It’ll be a technical chess match. Jones will tag him, but not with anything devastating. Rashad will utilize his footwork and speed to avoid getting caught with big shots and eventually get in to put the champ on his back. Here too there won’t be particularly devastating strikes, but it will be enough for Rashad to get the split decision win and take the title back.

Well, that wraps up another edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, my blog and catch me live blogging the fights tonight here. Also, feel free to leave comments, musings, questions or post your deepest darkest secrets. I promise to respond and not judge you (maybe). Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a nice new chip and dip bowl that needs to be used.