Author: By Dan Downes

Hey everyone, Danny Boy Downes back with another edition of The Ultimate Recap: Live! Let the record show how much I sacrifice to give all of you the best MMA reality show recap on the internet. Not only do I stay in repeatedly on Friday nights to watch the show (I have friends…maybe), but I even cancelled my plane ticket to North Carolina for the International Whistlers Convention (IWC). In all fairness, I probably would have been kicked out anyway because there’s no way I can comply with #12 on their Code of Ethics.

After three wins in a row, Team Faber is feeling confident. While they may be whistling Dixie, Dominick Cruz is visibly upset at losing another match. Right after the fight, he decides Chris Tickle needs “tough love” and yells at him in the gym in front of members of both teams. Now, I know I give Tickle a hard time on this column, but I don’t think that immediately after the biggest loss of his career is the right time to criticize him. But what do I know? I thought Sylvester Stallone deserved an Oscar nomination for his role in Rambo: First Blood.

In the aftermath of Tickle vs Proctor, we see the first real conflict between Faber and Cruz. Faber tells Tickle quite audibly that he did a great job and, “Don’t let anyone get you down.” Cruz does not take kindly to this. He calls out Faber on his record… and his fashion choices. Later in the locker room, Dominick apologizes to Tickle for coming down on him, but the damage may have already been done. It’ll be interesting to see how things go forward.

We then cut to life in the TUF house and see that the cabin fever is really starting to affect Andy Ogle. He says he’s meditating, but it looks more like someone having a bad trip at Burning Man. He then gives his future defense attorney a stomach ulcer by telling the other guys how he had a dream of his girlfriend getting murdered. Now, perhaps I’m just too private of a person, but there are some things you don’t share. It’s like this week when I asked a stranger how their day was going and they proceeded to tell me about how they recently amputated someone’s toe and gave details like, “it’s way easier to cut off someone’s toe than you think.” Just say, “Things are going well, how about you?” and be done with it.

After the commercial break we see Brittney Palmer reading something on a tablet. My first thought is, “I bet it’s Charles Dickens or a critique of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead,” but it’s only the TUF twitter account. Cut to Team Cruz’ training during the week and Vinc Pichel’s background story. He explains that he got the nickname “From Hell” from his mom because he got in a lot of trouble and arrested growing up. Two things: 1) How many parole officers have to come to TUF training sessions? 2) I wonder if Mrs. Pichel introduces him at family parties as, “Vinc from hell.”

The only thing tougher than raising Vinc Pichel is Sam Sicilia’s training session. He’s clearly struggling, and Cruz says, “We have to keep him confident,” but after seeing Cruz’ drill-sergeant-like coaching style, I’m struggling to picture his version of positive reinforcement.

Things are going a bit smoother at Team Faber’s camp as John Cofer tells his story. He focuses on how important wrestling was for him, “It taught me mental fortitude.” Faber doesn’t give the most resounding endorsement when he says, “He’s not the most dangerous guy in the world.” The strategy for this fight is for Cofer to, “be safe on his feet” and get the takedown.

The “Team Purple” friendship between Team Faber’s Michael Chiesa and Team Cruz’ Sam Sicilia is a cause for worry for some of the guys in the house. They’re concerned the two friends will leak gameplans to one another. This worry then causes Ogle to transition from murder hallucinations to fits of paranoia and he confronts Chiesa. Chiesa assures him that he’s not going to give any information away and that tin foil hats are a great way to make sure the CIA doesn’t read your thoughts. Also, the government adds fluoride to our drinking water to keep us subservient. I thought this was a little over the line, but I thought Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson were going to be married forever.

Weigh ins come without issue and Dana White makes an appearance. He then gives a speech that will surely make him a shoe-in for the commencement address at Harvard. While I don’t have it fully transcribed, I think most of you can imagine how it goes. Let’s just say it’s a reprise of his famous “So you want to be a f#*(ng fighter” monologue from season one. Some people may think that this is an unprofessional way for a president of a company to act, but you should hear Warren Buffet talk. That man makes the Osbournes look like the Jehovah’s Witnesses that came to my door last month.

It’s fight time and as round one starts and you immediately see that Cofer is the aggressor. He keeps coming forward and pushing for the tie-up. Pcihel does a great job moving around and counter punching. This pattern continues for the rest of the round. There aren’t any real significant strikes but Pichel does have some visible damage on his face. In the last ten seconds Pichel flurries, but I give the round to Cofer for keeping his opponent on his heels.

Round two sees Pichel take a more aggressive posture and doesn’t let Cofer dictate the pace like the first round. Cofer gets a takedown with about two minutes left, but can’t get the finish. Pichel is able to get back up, there are a few more exchanges and the round ends. The judges have it tied up and we head to “sudden victory.”

The round begins, Pichel tags Cofer early and you know immediately that this one is going to end soon. Pichel puts Cofer on the fence, gets a takedown and finishes him with an arm triangle 43 seconds into the round. The only thing more impressive than that third round from Vinc is how casually Jon Anik says, “And Cofer’s dream is over.” Read fight report

We get to next week’s matchup and it will be Sam Sicilia against Chris Saunders. They have a quick staredown and Andy Ogle runs around in the background in a wrestling singlet. Will Team Purple move onto the quarterfinals together? Who is Chris Saunders? What’s the over/under on Andy Ogle before he starts walking around naked ranting like the Kony 2012 guy? Find out this and more next week on The Ultimate Fighter Live!

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTUF, my blog and catch me live blogging UFC 145 tonight here. Also feel free to leave some comments about the show or your favorite whistler. Personally, I’m a fan of David Morris, although you can’t deny the skills of Chris Clackum…

Team Cruz (3-3)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3
Vinc Pichel – (1-0) submitted John Cofer in episode 7
Mike Rio
Sam Sicilia – scheduled to fight Chris Saunders in episode 8
Chris Tickle – (0-1) lost via submission to Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2

Team Faber (3-3)
Mike Chiesa – (1-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5
John Cofer – (0-1) lost to Vinc Pichel in episode 7
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle
Joe Proctor – (1-0) submitted Chris Tickle in episode 6
Chris Saunders – scheduled to fight Sam Sicilia in episode 8

I have to say that this is a pretty good week for myself. Spring is in the air, my fiancé’s wedding shower is today where I may get my much anticipated fondue set and the Downes Side returned. Most of all, though, I get to write the Ultimate Recap Live about an episode that featured our favorite reality TV show personality Chris Tickle.

Some people have been complaining that the new format of the show limits the ability of  storylines to develop but I think they’re wrong. Just look at the intro of episode 6 here. It begins the way I think that all episodes from now on should — Chris Tickle looking up and saying, “Coach, I got diarrhea.” Provocative storytelling!

After that we get a recap of last week’s Chiesa vs Larsen fight. Michael Chiesa is a little emotional (understandably) after the fight and feels that he made his recently-deceased father proud and gives some love to his mom. A clearly upset Larsen still retains his grasp on syntax as he yells, “[expletive] [expletive] that [expletive] [expletive] [expletive].”

While Larsen may be the next Walt Whitman, our buddy “Bad” Tickle wastes no time taking over the show. Obviously intoxicated at the fights, he starts talking trash at everyone and everything he can. Dominick Cruz tells him to shut his mouth and Tickle responds, “I’m just being me!” Yes you certainly are, and please don’t change.

We then get a little glimpse into the Cruz/Tickle relationship. It’s interesting to say the least. It’s like the Odd Couple if Felix and Oscar were chosen by one of those VH1 reality TV shows like Flavor of Love. Cruz can’t stand Tickle, but says, “I actually love the guy.” Tickle doesn’t like being coached, and Cruz has been pushing him hard all season. Naturally, Tickle then pulls Cruz aside and asks him to push him harder leading up to his fight. Cut to: Chris Tickle eating corn dogs.

While the Cruz/Tickle relationship could use a talk from Dr. Drew, we then see how teammates Mike Rio and Justin Lawrence get along. Rio has had a bum knee throughout the season and wishes that Coach Cruz would just give them a light day once in a while. Lawrence thinks Rio is soft and tells the 30 year old that in MMA, “You’re done at 30.” They later have an altercation at practice where sparring pretty much turns into a fight with gloves. Rio gets the better of the exchange, but at least Lawrence didn’t end up like this guy. Cruz explains that he orchestrated this on purpose, too, since Lawrence is so good that he’s not used to having to bounce back, but he’ll need that when he’s in the UFC.

Joe Proctor then tells his story. Born to alcoholic and drug abuser parents, his dad is now clean and they have a strong relationship. Despite all the turmoil growing up, Proctor exudes a calm and stability. Urijah Faber sums it up perfectly when he says, “Always beware the dog with no bark.” Proctor gives me a little pause for concern when he tells us, “I’m a ground guy, but I love to bang.” Hasn’t he ever heard of Andy Wang?

Next we see how the TUF guys spent their Easter Sunday. It mostly involves water activities around the pool and creating a makeshift Slip N Slide out of yard bags. Tickle is preparing a turkey dinner for the guys and tells his story. He was in and out of jail, drank a lot and and claims that, “MMA saved my life.” He also explains how he’s a self-taught fighter whose only coach has been YouTube.

Cut to Team Cruz’ training where Dominick stresses the importance of Tickle avoiding takedowns. He knows that Tickle is a brawler and his best chance of winning is standing there attacking. Coach Cruz also worries about Tickle not pacing himself and gassing early. Weigh-ins are much less eventful than anticipated. Tickle eats a slice of pizza on the scale and during the stare down, he asks Proctor, “Smell my pizza?”

Now it’s fight time and we get a quick glimpse into the locker rooms. Cruz tells Tickle to avoid throwing body kicks and Faber stresses the importance of footwork. Tickle doesn’t bring any props for the walkout, but if you look behind them, you can see how nicely the coaches’ portraits have evolved. I think Urijah Faber should try rocking that handlebar mustache in real life.

Round 1 — For a self taught fighter, Tickle actually looks all right. He’s definitely a brawler and throws big wide shots, but a few of them find their mark. Tickle gets the dominant position on Proctor clinching against the cage and hurts him with a right hand off the break. I think that was all the motivation Proctor needed to remind him, “Oh yeah, I’m a ground fighter.” The velicoproctor gets the the takedown with a minute left. The jiu-jitsu videos that Tickle watched must have been Melvin Guillard vs Joe Lauzon because he gives his back up immediately and Proctor sinks in the rear naked choke. Tickle fights the choke briefly, then taps out, giving Team Faber three wins in a row.

Read fight report

Dana briefly gives his thoughts on the fight and had Tickle winning it. Urijah Faber talks and congratulates Tickle for not being a poor sport and taking the loss responsibly. I think it’s nice that we give people credit for things they’re supposed to do. That’s why I’m pitching my, “Hey You Haven’t Gone to Prison!” card line to Hallmark this week. After that next week’s fight is announced and it’ll be John Cofer vs Vinc Pichel. Will Team Faber keep control? WIll “Bad” Bad Boy Tickle show up and raise more trouble? What will be the first thing eat with my fondue set? Find out this and more next week!

In the meantime, follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTuf, read my blog and leave some comments. I’ll try to respond, but you’ll never know what can happen after my aunts knock back some mimosas….

Team Cruz (2-3)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3
Vinc Pichel – schedule to fight John Cofer in episode 7
Mike Rio
Sam Sicilia
Chris Tickle – (0-1) lost via submission to Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2

Team Faber (3-2)
Mike Chiesa – (1-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5
John Cofer – scheduled to fight Vinc Pichel in episode 7
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle
Joe Proctor – (1-0) submitted Chris Tickle in episode 6
Chris Saunders

It’s been a while, but the Downes Side is back! Luckily, many of you have gotten your Danny Boy fix reading my Ultimate Fighter recaps. To those of you that haven’t, you’re missing out on my crack analysis. There have been references to Sonic the Hedgehog, Finnish neuroscientists, cross-stitching and chain wallets. I bet you feel like a fool right now, huh?

This week the UFC heads to Sweden for another UFC on FUEL TV event. Yet again, I was left home. The only thing more disappointing than not seeing the fights is the fact that I won’t get to visit the IKEA headquarters. It’s way cheaper than Disney World because you have to assemble the rides yourself. Realistically, I probably couldn’t have gone anyway since Momma Downes is throwing a wedding shower for my fiancé this weekend and I have to be there to carry things. Let’s just hope the fights are as entertaining as my aunts after they knock down a couple mimosas.

Brad Pickett vs Damacio Page
We start with a bantamweight bout between Brad “One Punch” Pickett and Damacio “The Angel of Death” Page. Everyone’s favorite Brit was on a nine fight win streak, but has had some trouble as of late, dropping two of his last three with a big break due to injury. Page is looking to end a unlucky streak of his own since losing his last two fights by submission.

Prediction: While everyone may know Pickett for his entertaining brawls, he does have nine career submission wins, including one ridiculous Peruvian necktie. Having said that, I don’t see “One Punch” submitting him, and that’s where the good news ends. Pickett has the advantage in reach, power and standup that will give him unanimous decision victory. On the upside, Angels of Death are rarely fired — they’ve got a pretty strong union.

DaMarques Johnson vs John Maguire
Next up is DaMarques Johnson against John Maguire. Johnson is 4-3 in his UFC career with his most recent victory a first-round KO of Clay Harvison last November. Submission specialist John Maguire steps inside the Octagon for a second time after a decision victory at UFC 138. A grappling specialist, he has won 9 of his 17 fights by submission.

Prediction: We all know that English fighters aren’t know for their wrestling, but Johnson has shown holes in his takedown defense. DaMarques has shown strong submission defense — up to a point — but Maguire’s “Gypsy Jiu-jitsu” will be too much for him to handle. Maguire finishes this in the second and then one of his cousins gets hired as my personal wedding consultant.

Dennis Siver vs Diego Nunes
The next fight features WEC/UFC veteran Diego “The Gun” Nunes as he takes on German striking powerhouse Dennis Siver. Nunes has won four out of his last five, the most recent being a decision victory over Manny Gamburyan in December. Making his debut at featherweight,  Siver’s last fight was a submission loss to Cowboy Cerrone that inspired him to “reduce the amount of candy I eat” and drop to featherweight.

Prediction: Siver was one of the strongest lightweights in the UFC. Now that he dropped down a division, his strength advantage should be even greater…in theory. I think the weight cut will affect him severely and weaken his stamina. As long as Nunes can defend the initial onslaught he’ll be able to wear down Siver en route to a third-round TKO. Siver may not get the sweet taste of victory, but at least he’s in the right country to buy these.

Paulo Thiago vs Siyar Bahadurzada
Next is the highly anticipated debut of Siyar “The Great” Bahadurzada aka  Siyar “The Killer” Bahadurzada as he matches up against BJJ black belt Paulo Thiago. Thiago got back on the right track last August with a unanimous decision victory over David Mitchell after dropping two in a row to Diego Sanchez and Martin Kampmann. Bahadurzada — who we’ll just call STK because it’s easier to spell — is 20-4-1 and the first Afghan-born fighter to compete in the UFC. He hits his opponents as hard as his name is to pronounce, with four straight KO victories.

Prediction:  Even though Thiago is primarily a grappler, he feels comfortable enough standing that he doesn’t constantly go for takedowns. For his sake, I hope he reconsiders that strategy. STK isn’t the type of striker you play around with at the beginning of the round to “test yourself.” Even if Thiago takes my advice, though, I see him surviving the first and then getting KO’d in the second. Joe Rogan better start practicing saying “Bahadurzada.”

Brian Stann vs Alessio Sakara
In the co-main event, we see the “All-American” Brian Stann taking on Alessio “Legionarius” Sakara. Stann is looking to rebound from a submission loss to fellow American icon Chael Sonnen at UFC 136. Sakara hasn’t fought since March of 2011 when he lost via decision to Chris “All-American” Weidman. (I was actually live at the fight, sitting next to a woman who couldn’t understand why people were calling him Italian because, “His tattoo clearly says he’s Romanian!”)

Prediction: The real question here is how Stann will react to a crowd that doesn’t chant U-S-A! Sakara is dangerous on his feet, but has shaky defense when pressured. Seeing that nine of Stann’s eleven victories have been finishes, that doesn’t bode well for our Romanian friend. Stann takes this one in the first round and then eats apple pie while playing baseball and remembering the Alamo. Because….AMERICA!
 
Thiago Silva vs Alexander Gustafsson
That brings us to the main event of the evening. Silva may have replaced an injured Noguiera, but this fight will be the Gremlins 2 of main events — even better than the original. Silva is looking for some redemption after his last fight (that caused this beauty of a broken nose) was overturned by the NSAC. Gustafsson wants to get his fifth straight win and do so in front of his countrymen at the UFC’s Sweden debut event.

Prediction: When it comes to grappling ability, Silva is far ahead of Gustafsson. He was able to put a high level wrestler like Brandon Vera on his back and he can definitely do the same to “The Mauler.” On the feet, the Swede does have better footwork and speed, but he moves unnecessarily and often crowds himself. This is how I see Silva taking advantage. Gustafsson will be overeager, get caught moving in and lose by TKO in the second. The Swedish fans won’t be happy, but I imagine even their boos and jeers sound magical.

That wraps up another edition of the Downes Side. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @dannyboydownes, check out my blog and leave some comments. If they’re good, I might even post pictures of the gifts. You know you want to look at the pots and pans set I registered. Stainless steel or anodized? The anticipation is killing you already!
 

After the usual review of last week’s match (Iaquinta vs. Jury), we immediately see that the evening’s fight has put Sam Sicilia in an awkward position. He’s torn between helping his teammateJeremy Larsen  and a “great friend” Michael Chiesa. Despite whatever friendship he has, Coach Cruz is upset with losing and wants any advantage he can get to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He asks Sam to give him a scouting report on Chiesa so he can help prepare Larsen better.

Watching this, I couldn’t help but think this whole exchange was like that guy at the bar who tries to get a girl to go home with him at closing time. Cruz tries all the usual routes to get someone to do something they don’t want: guilt, charm and even questions his dedication. I thought he was going to break him, but Sicilia stayed strong.

We then get a glimpse into Team Cruz’ strategy for the fight. Larsen thinks that Chiesa is one dimensional and can only grapple. Cruz tells him that while he may not have the best takedown defense, using the cage will be strategic.

In the Team Cruz training shots, our buddy Bad Tickle shows himself again. His excuse this time is that he has gout. I always thought that gout was one of those diseases like typhoid or dysentery that only exist anymore in Oregon Trail. Cruz confronts Tickle and tells him that being hurt is just part of being a professional fighter. You’re never going to be 100% so either you want it or you don’t. Feeling his masculinity being questioned,Tickle does what he does best — get pissed. “I can’t even stand!” he cries…..then stands up and walks out.

The show cuts to the TUF house where Chiesa and Larsen are in the kitchen together. Will we finally see bodily fluids in someone’s food? Alas, no. Chiesa politely asks Larsen, “Do you still wanna share a room?” Personally, I don’t see the big deal. I’m always in a room with people that are about to fight each other. It’s called the Downes family reunion. Which reminds me, where’s all the booze this season?

Cut to the Team Faber training session and their strategy for the fight. Faber says that Chiesa has, “Some of the best MMA style takedowns,” and there is no doubt what he plans to do. Chiesa then talks about what’s been on everyone’s minds since the fight was made and opens up about the death of his father. He acknowledges that he has an easy out and could use it as an excuse for underperforming or even leaving the show altogether, but instead says that the tragedy has been a source of motivation.

Feeling kind of bummed now? Did you just reflect on the importance of family and think you should go call you own father and tell him you love him? In a seamless transition, we shift to Chris Tickle’s bowel troubles. Sparring with Larsen, he catches a good body shot that hurts him. He expertly deflects his defensive lapse with, “My stomach hurt before I started training,” and tries to run off to the bathroom. Cruz doesn’t let him and says, “I don’t care if you s#*t all over yourself!” If that doesn’t make it on the back of his next t-shirt, I’ll be greatly disappointed.

Jeremy Larsen then tells his story. He feels like an underdog and can’t wait to prove people wrong. He’s definitely determined, but he could use some lessons in salesmanship. He doesn’t do himself any favors when he says, “I don’t really have a strength in anything.” He says that he’d either be dead or in jail if it weren’t for MMA.

Tickle goes to the doctor and they tell him that the tests came back negative for gout. He credits the prescription antibiotics they gave him. According to my research, they usually give you nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs which are just fancy words for ibuprofen and Aleve. I wonder if he gets prescription water if he’s thirsty.

Weigh ins come and the only thing of interest is that Urijah Faber making fun of Dominick Cruz’ red shoes. To me they just looked like basic skateboarder shoes. I’m definitely not the one to ask about fashion, though. I still rock my kick ass chain wallet from the 90s.

The fight begins and Chiesa wastes no time trying to close the distance and get inside. He takes Larsen down in the first minute and then tries to advance position. Larsen does a good job of not getting put in a bad position and gets up. He soon overcommits on his strikes, Chiesa ties up and takes him down again. With about one minute left in the round, Chiesa goes for a darce, but can’t finish. Then, the controversy occurs. Larsen has his back on the cage and is hunched over on one knee. Chiesa is still standing over him going for the choke and then throws an illegal knee. There didn’t seem to be a lot behind it, but it’s obviously a foul. A point gets deducted, the round restarts and they clinch to the bell.

Round two is pretty much more of the same. Larsen gets put against the cage, taken down, gets up, overcommits on his strikes and then gets taken down again. He must not have watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians to learn the evils of committing too soon.

Chiesa wins the decision, but then the most amazing thing happens on this season — the fighters actually answer Jon Anik’s questions. Chiesa gives a shout out to his mom and love to his departed father. Larsen feels cheated that there wasn’t a third round because of the point deduction in the first from the knee (He doesn’t seem to realize that since he lost the round 10-9, the point deduction still makes it a 9-9 tie). He calls himself “a warrior” and then whines a little bit more. Read fight report

Team Faber has control of the pick. He says his first pick was the most “obnoxious and loud” member of Team Cruz, Dominick’s shoes, but apparently they’re at home today. So he goes with a consolation prize that gives us all what we want — more Chris Tickle. That’s right, next week we get to see our buddy Bad Tickle fight Joe Proctor. Will Chris redeem himself from the detractors? Can Proctor take out the guy that Cruz said has the potential to win it all? Does a sudden bout of scurvy make the fight not happen at all? Find out next week!

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on twitter @dannyboydownes, my blog here, the show at @InsideTUF and leave some comments. Be forewarned, if there’s no article next week, it probably means the Downes family Easter Egg Hunt got out of hand again.

Team Cruz (2-2)
Myles Jury – (0-1) lost a split decision to Al Iaquinta in episode 4
Jeremy Larsen – (0-1) lost via unanimous decision to Mike Chiesa in episode 5
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 3
Vinc Pichel
Mike Rio
Sam Sicilia
Chris Tickle – scheduled to fight Joe Proctor in episode 6
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 2

Team Faber (2-2)
Mike Chiesa – (1-0) won a unanimous decision over Jeremy Larsen in episode 5
John Cofer
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 2
Al Iaquinta – (1-0) won a split decision over Myles Jury in episode 4
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 3
Andy Ogle
Joe Proctor – scheduled to fight Chris Tickle in episode 6
Chris Saunders

Well, episode one (which you can read here) went so well that I decided to give up my Friday night again to bring you the Ultimate Recap Live again. Sure my cross-stitching has to suffer, but life is all about sacrifices.

The episode opens up with a recap of last week’s events. While not as engaging as my recap, it hits the big points. There’s a big emphasis on how Dominick Cruz embarrassed Team Faber by letting them choose who they wanted to fight against number 1 pick Justin Lawrence, a request that was welcomed with awkward silence and eventually Cristiano Marcello. Based on the reactions of the fighters, the move clearly had an effect. We hear exaggerations, excuses and a couple head scratching comments from both sides.

Team Faber’s John Cofer blames Urijah Faber for not taking charge and making a decision. Apparently coaches are not only supposed to teach you how to fight but also give you a backbone. Is it really stepping up if you have someone do it for you? Isn’t that more like being carried? Cofer does have a point, though. Sometimes people in authority don’t want to fulfill their obligation to you. I still remember when my dad told me to be a “big boy” and said he wouldn’t help me go potty anymore. That was the worst eighth birthday in history…

Team Cruz’ Vinc Pichel says that Team Faber is “hating life right now.” Really? I’m pretty sure they’re glad they avoided a fight they didn’t think they could win. However, he could be referring to some deep philosophical void they’re experiencing by coming to grips with their own frailty.

Speaking of deep, introspective thinkers, next we’re given a view into the world of Chris Tickle. After calling out Team Faber in the kitchen, we see him running around in a gas mask. Instead of offering the benefits of oxygen deprivation training, the explanation we receive is, “smiles are addictive….it brings less negativity in the world.” This coming from the guy who was just trying to make Team Faber feel bad about themselves and essentially calling them cowards. Hey Tickle, you know what brings less negativity into the world? Less negativity.

Tickle then pulls a “prank” by taking the sign from Urijah Faber’s parking spot. Something tells me that if he’s been parking in the same spot for a couple weeks, he probably doesn’t need the sign.

Next, Lawrence works his standup by hitting mitts and talks about his route to fighting. He says he’s here to “shock the world.” Yeah, just like all the other #1 picks in history. Remember that LeBron James guy? Man did he shock the world when he got good at basketball.

We get another glimpse at “Bad Tickle” dragging his feet getting to practice, blaming his bowel movements, among other things. Coach Cruz is frustrated, but says, “I have to encourage him.” He confronts Tickle and tells him to get his head in the game. Tickle apologizes and tells his coach that he didn’t mean anything by it and then in the next frame tells the camera that it “pissed me off.” Oh Tickle, I’m so glad you came along so I don’t have to confront my mortality like last week.

Coming back from commercial we see Marcello training with assistant coach Justin Buchholz, who tells us, “don’t discount crazy.” Team Faber finds the sign and uses some tape to modify Cruz’ photo in the training room to make him look like the “Dracula/Eddie Munster hybrid” that Faber calls him.

As Team Faber leaves and Team Cruz arrives, Tickle confronts Cofer over an impression of him he caught Cofer doing. We get the usual BS tough-guy talk, but the real highlight is Tickle proclaiming, “I don’t put up with shit since I was eight years old.” Besides feeling bad for his mom, I tried to figure out what could have happened to set him off. He was eight in 1991, so my best guesses thus far are: 1) protest of First Gulf War 2) His mom wouldn’t buy him Sonic the Hedgehog for SEGA 3) He took the death of Finnish neuroscientist Ragnar Granit really hard.

More training clips from both guys, Team Cruz adds a chin thong to the butt-chin portion of Faber’s picture, and then we cut to weigh ins. Nothing of real note, then it’s fight time. Team Faber sits with a few Brazilian flags and then Marcello totally kills Team Cruz’ U-S-A chant by coming to the Octagon with an American flag.

From start to finish, Lawrence controls the fight. He throws a lot of power shots but doesn’t string combinations together. The first round passes without real significant strikes landed on either side. In the second round the two stand in front of one another more, which does not work well for Marcello. About halfway through the round he gets clipped with a big right hand. It doesn’t finish him, but he never recovers. Soon, Lawrence partially connects with a hook and that’s the last strike thrown, giving the #1 pick/apparent underdog the win 3:16 into the second and an extra $5,000. Read fight play-by-play

The selection this week goes without incident and ends up being Team Cruz’ Myles Jury vs Team Faber’s Al Iaquinta. Will the unbeaten Jury continue to have, “God on his side?” Will Iaquinta get a bonus so he can move out of his parents’ house? Will Chris Tickle finally come to grips with the death of Ragnar Granit? Find out next week!

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on twitter @dannyboydownes, the show @InsideTUF and leave some comments. And as always, if you can recommend any good stitch-a-longs coming up, I’d appreciate it.

Here’s the season at a glance:

Team Cruz
Myles Jury – scheduled to fight Al Iaquinta in episode 3
Jeremy Larsen
Justin Lawrence – (1-0) won via KO over Cristiano Marcello in episode 2
Vinc Pichel
Mike Rio
Sam Sicilia
Chris Tickle
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 1

Team Faber
Mike Chiesa
John Cofer
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 1
Al Iaquinta – scheduled to fight Myles Jury in episode 3
Cristiano Marcello – (0-1) lost to Justin Lawrence in episode 2
Andy Ogle
Joe Proctor
Chris Saunders

Seeing that there was a significant gap between UFC events, I graciously accepted the offer to do The Ultimate Fighter Live Recap. Expect some of the same things that you get from the Downes Side — expert analysis, proper grammar, and maybe even a reference to the Lincoln-Douglas presidential debates.

After an intro to the new season and format (the show is now half-taped content from the last week of training/living in the house; but the fights at the end of the episodes air live each week) from Dana White we fly through some snapshots of the fighters. Michael Chiesa stands out to me due to his similarities to Cody McKenzie. Not only do they have similar looks, but apparently they both live out of their cars. Now he just needs a submission named after him — Chies-a-tine or Chies-a-plata are my early favorites.

Next up we go right into team selections. Urijah Faber wins the coin toss, which gives him the right to choose either the first fighter for his team or the first matchup of guys to fight. Faber elects to choose the first fight, giving Cruz the first fighter pick. Later we’ll hear Faber explain how this strategy puts his team in position for a “guaranteed win.”

Cruz takes Justin Lawrence with the first pick (that’s the guy who poured it on and knocked out experienced vet James Krause inside of 90 seconds in the premiere) and Faber chooses Al Iaquinta (the toe ruiner). Cruz fills out his roster with (in order) Sam Sicilia (the 8-second knockout guy from the premiere), Myles Jury (a TUF 13 contestant who had to leave due to injury and a training partner of Cruz in San Diego), Mike Rio, James Vick, Vinc Pichel, Chris Tickle, and Jeremy Larsen. Faber’s crew grows with Cristiano Marcello (the Gracie black belt), Daron Cruickshank, Joe Proctor, Mike Chiesa, John Cofer, Andy Ogle (the British kid) and Chris Saunders (The One With the Mohowak).

The picks go largely without incident until Cruz opts for Chris Tickle because Tickle had been openly lobbying to be on Faber’s team. In a mind-eff of things to come, Cruz explains that he was purposely throwing a wrench into Faber’s plans – since everyone knew Tickle was Faber-focused, Faber didn’t have to use up one of his picks on him, because he knew Dominick wouldn’t take him. Or in his words, “I took him because Urijah would take him, and by me taking him, Faber couldn’t take him anymore because he was taken.” While I applaud him for showing all the verb tenses of take (despite lack of the pluperfect) it was a little confusing. we’ll see if “Bad Boy” Tickle ends up being a great pick up or if it’ll just be a really creepy piece of fan fiction.

After a couple of training clips, the guys gather in the gym for the fight announcement. As the teams are waiting, we get a little of the beloved trash talk between the two coaches. Faber confronts Cruz about comments he made in UFC magazine about Urijah’s parents helping him set up a gym. Faber warns Cruz against bringing his family up, and tells him to stop. Dominick apologizes and says he meant no offense. Faber accepts Cruz’ apology on behalf of his dad (really.)

Reasoned discussion followed by an apology and understanding — are you listening, Jon and Rashad?! The church bake sale I went to last week had more tension than that. (In my defense, those cookies were over-baked and I deserved a refund.)

Team Faber decides to pit Michael Cruickshank against James Vick. The prevailing attitude is that boxer Vick is too one-dimensional for this fight and that Cruickshank, a seasoned kickboxer trained by his parents (“My mom can beat up your dad,” he smiles), will easily win. Even Cruz admits that his fighter is the underdog. Now, I have an unfair bias in favor of lanky lightweights, so right away I was hoping that Vick wouldn’t embarrass himself.

After some more training clips, the coaches call Michael Chiesa into the back. He takes a phone call from his mother, who informs him that his father has died of acute myeloid leukemia (AML). Chiesa later meets with Dana White and learns that he’ll be able to leave the house for the funeral and return if he wants. Chiesa immediately says he’ll return and compete. Chiesa is obviously devastated, and frankly, his raw emotion and the unflinching cameras make it devastating to watch.

After a level of gravitas previosly unseen on TUF, it’s fight time. Vick gets a pep talk backstage from Cruz, who implores him to go out and have fun. Vick’s only response is a nervous-sounding “Yes, sir.” Meanwhile in the Team Faber locker room, Cruickshank is relaxed and ready to get out there.

The first few minutes are uneventful. Crankshaft (isn’t that easier to remember?!) throws some flashy Tae Kwon Do kicks that look cool, but like most of what you buy at Bed Bath & Beyond, don’t really accomplish much. Suddenly, ‘Shaft dives in on a double leg and eats a hard right knee to the face. It puts him out cold and lanky underdog James Vick is on his way to the quarterfinals. All in all, things worked out well for Vick — except for when Jon Anik totally left him hanging during the post fight interview.

The show closes with the fight selection for next week and a big psychological play by Dom. Cruz pulls a slick move by choosing first-pick Justin Lawrence for next week’s bout, then telling Faber to pick who from his team he wants to battle Lawrence. Faber sits in stunned silence, unsure who to send in, and asks his team if any of them are “ready to scrap.” No one on Team Faber makes a move. I hadn’t heard that much awkward silence since I told my parents I was ditching grad school to become a professional fighter.

Finally, Cruz picks Marcello and the match that many fans expected to see at the Finale is set for next week. Will Team Cruz’s number-one pick show his worth? Will Team Faber get their first win with their second choice? Will someone finally urinate on someone/something? Find out next week!

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on twitter @dannyboydownes, the show at @InsideTUF and leave comments. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m writing this on St. Patrick’s Day and I have a couple Irish stereotypes to fulfill.

Here’s the season at a glance:

Team Cruz
Myles Jury
Jeremy Larsen
Justin Lawrence – schedued to fight Cristiano Marcello in episode 2
Vinc Pichel
Mike Rio
Sam Sicilia
Chris Tickle
James Vick – (1-0) won via KO over Daron Cruickshank in episode 1

Team Faber
Mike Chiesa
John Cofer
Daron Cruickshank – (0-1) lost to James Vick in episode 1
Al Iaquinta
Cristiano Marcello – scheduled to fight Justin Lawrence in episode 2
Andy Ogle
Joe Proctor
Chris Saunders