(Photo via Bellator)
Let’s kick off today’s “top” story with a classic Russian joke: What did the Alexander Shlemenko say to the dirty syringe?
“I must take you.”
Get it, because Ivan Drago said that once, and he’s Russian? I am criminally underpaid for this kind of material.
Anyway, the point is that former Bellator middleweight champion Alexander Shlemenko has tested positive for elevated testosterone following his KO win over Melvin Manhoef at Bellator 133 last month. Because apparently “Bellator drug test” are a thing that is happening now. The Coker Era, I’m telling you. It’s like this guy’s actively trying to undo the freakshow cred that Bellator achieved during the Rebney Era. Let’s hope Shammy vs. Slice isn’t promoted like some kind of legitimate contest, or all will truly be lost.
Said Coker in a press statement:
We are disappointed to hear about the results of Shlemenko’s drug test. As I’ve stated previously, performance-enhancing drugs have no place in this sport, and Bellator fully supports the commission in enforcing harsh penalties to deter fighters from taking banned substances.
The news of Shlemenko’s failed test comes just weeks after former champ Emanuel Newton tested positive for marijuana after his Bellator 134 title loss to Liam McGeary and was subsequently handed a three month suspension. Shlemenko, however, has been banned indefinitely by the California Athletic Commission and fined $2,500. Which, steroids carrying a longer suspension that weed? IS THIS WHAT PROGRESS IS?
Oh, it should also be mentioned that Emelio Chavez also failed his Bellator 133 drug test, for marijuana. MMAFighting has confirmed that he’ll be suspended 30 days and fined $100 plus the cost of the test.
Steroids and weed, man. They’re the salt and pepper to MMA’s chuck roast.