On a rare weekend without a card from Ultimate Fighting Championship, tonight (Sat., Sept. 30, 2023), we’ve got the silliest, dumbest and usually the most enjoyable production in the combat sports arena, Fight Circus, with it’s eighth showing from its home in Phuket, Thailand.
In full disclosure, last card was pre-taped and this might be as well, but that’s the kind of stuff you get when you get a wild-card promotion who just kinda does whatever they feel like and all that one can do is roll with it. But, who cares? There will be a bunch of Maniacs in the comments section at 9 p.m. ET, as we all will have www.fightcircus.tv open to see what in the world transpires.
WTF IS WRONG WITH US!! find out this Saturday on https://t.co/JWFPzgJbX2 (free for the first 10 million viewers) #fightcircus @FullMetalDojo pic.twitter.com/MlMKrEaLnd
— Fight Circus ®? (@FightCircus) September 28, 2023
The good news is you are hopefully one of the first 10 million viewers, so this will all go down smoothly for everyone.
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Full Metal Dojo/Fight Circus
Fight Circus 8: Running Man, the Musical Quick Results
-2-on-1, Bank & No Money def. Charles Bennett – Rear Naked Choke
-Barbenheimer (what looks to be woman vs old man?) Muay Thai, Nong Rose def. Kohyaopech Bandusak — decision
-Boxing, Mr. Fight vs. Fit & Travel — Draw, despite an original reading of it as a win for Fit & Travel
-Lethwei, Saw Htoo Aung def. Andrew Capurro — TKO, Rd. 3
-Legs of Fury (??? Leg wrestling?) Walter & Bi Mat vs. Chris Marsing & Ben Davis — Bi Mat def. Ben Davis in leg wrestling // Chris Marsing def. Walter in legs-only striking
Fight Circus 8: Running Man, the Musical Play-By-Play Results
Bank & No Money vs. Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett – 2-on-1 MMA
Round 1: OK, my knuckles are cracked. The boys try a takedown and it sends Bennet through the ropes. They get Charles back in. Bennett trying to take down Bank, while No Money tries to take down Bennett. No Money has a waistlock on Bennett while Bank tries to strike on Charles.
Round 2: Great takedown by the boys. No Money on the back Bennett shakes him off over the head. They go after Bennett again with the grappling and this time they get the tap on the RNC!
Round 3: Immediate rematch because, why not. Bennett with an uppercut on No Money as he tried another takedown. Jump kick by Bennett. They take him down and try an armbar, but no go. Bank tries a takedown while No Money whales on him. They get the takedown, but they can’t hold him down… They do get him down and there’s an armbar attempt – Bennett doesn’t tap until the bell rings. Great rounds two and three by Bank & No Money
FINAL RESULT: Bank & No Money def. Charles “Felony” Bennett via RNC
Nong Rose vs. Kohyaopech Bandusak – Muay Thai
Round 1: So yea, guess that’s the hook on this one, Nong Rose (who is a trans-woman) as “Barbie” fighting old man Bandusak as the old man “Oppenheimer”. Rose gets in a nice right, backed into the corner. Rose lands a right, which seems to irritate Bandusak, who fires ahead with a jump kick. Both fighters land in the clinch. Rose gets her kick caught, but jumps the sweep attempt.
10-9 Bandusak maybe?
Round 2: Right high kick by Rose. Right hand, too. Bandusak seems a bit annoyed that he’s not dominating despite being stronger. Rose kicks low. She’s out-technique’ing Bandusak. Knee by Rose, Bandusak misses a right. Rose with a couple of right hands. Bandusak looks a bit gassed here and isn’t taking the fight to Rose. Left by Rose. Tow rights to the body and her takedown gets him to the mat.
10-9 Rose
Round 3: Rose lands a pair of right body kicks. Bandusak is looking tired. Rose with a right to the torso and a left upstairs. Bandusak isn’t really throwing anything at this point. Rose with an overhand right. Bandusak looks out of it completely. Ref gives Bandusak a standing eight count at the bell.
10-8 Rose
FINAL RESULT: Nong Rose def. Kohyaopech Bandusak via decision.
Mr. Fight vs. Fit & Travel – Boxing
Round 1: Fit & Travel, aka Chaiwat Choosang vs Suvit Sivitech, Mr. Fight. MF in the red jumpsuit, F&T in the orange one. F&T coming out a bit strong to open up. He lands a couple shots. MF drops his hands and lets F&T just tee off on him. MF gets in a right hand as the bell rings.
Fit and Travel 10-9
Round 2: Mr. Fight with a nice right hand to the body. MF falls down? Hit down? Now the ref slips on MF. No knockdown. F&T swinging, but mostly arm punches. Now F&T slips.
10-9 Mr. Fight
Round 3: MF goes body-head. F&T with a 3-piece combo. F&T with the Ali shuffle and jabs. His cardio is better than MF, he’s just not able to put in any damage.
10-9 Fit & Travel
FINAL RESULT: Fit & Travel def. Mr. Fight via unanimous decision (or a draw and Nutt was fucking with Mr. Fight?)
Saw Htoo Aung vs. Andrew Capurro – Lethwei
Round 1: Capurro in blue, Aung in black. Aung opens with a straight right hand. Capurro with a series of left kicks, they land on the arms, however. Capurro with a left to the gut. They clinch until the ref breaks them up. Good counter left by Capurro. Aung in the clinch and gets in a solid headbutt. Lebow over the top by Capurro. Capurro with a spinning back elbow and a left hook.
10-9 Capurro
Round 2: Aung lands a pair of body kicks. Aung misses a big kick but follows it up with a spinning back elbow that does land. Aung gets poked in the eye and they’re calling time. We’re back. Capurro has a mouse under his right eye. Aung to the body. Capurro lands a left hand.
Round 3: Aung tries a jump in, but eats an elbow for his troubles. Big swing connects for Aung. They’re swinging big and down goes Capurro after he gets caught up in the ropes and eats a lot of strikes. Capurro with a counter left, and a huge elbow drops him again. That’s all over!
FINAL RESULT: Saw Htoo Aung def. Andrew Capurro via TKO
Walter & Bi Mat vs. Black Rooster and unknown – Legs of Fury (whatever that is)
Round 1: OK, so it was both possible things this could be. They’re having the women do leg wrestling while the men are doing leg-only kickboxing. Just kicking. Ah, Ben Davis, the MMA Twitter personality, is the late replacement here. He’s cutting a promo and I’ve hit mute. Ben wins round 1, loses round 2, and round 3. What a failure after talking shit.
Round 2: Big ol’ Walter is going against Chis Marsing. Walter opens with a spinning liver kick that Marsing just no-sells. Marsing with a nice leg sweep that sends Walter down. Marsing with a question mark kick. Walter checks a leg kick, lands a spinning back kick. Marsing gets a clinch and knees a couple times. Walter knees one back and he’s looking gassed.
Round 3: Walter has taken off the shirt now. Marsing is spamming teeps, legs and liver kicks. Marsing grabs a clinch and he’s smashing into the lower body of Walter.
Round 4: Marsing misses a head kick, impressive dexterity for a guy who weighed in at roughly 390. Walter on his bike for the most part.
FINAL RESULT: Bi Mat def. Ben Davis & Chris Marsing def. Walter
Bank & Golf vs. Phuket High – Siamese Kickboxing
Round 1: OK, so Phuket High is two dudes who work at the local dispensary. Bank & Golf are a pair of Youtubers. I… I can’t really type down all that’s happening. They melee into each other and are throwing repeatedly. The t-shirt they’re stuffed in is being used as a distraction object, like a net. I have no idea how to score this round. They’re hitting everything that moves.
Round 2: Golf swung on Bank in between rounds. Golf, it should be noted is wearing jeans and a polo shirt and well, he’s kinda fighting like it. Oh, nice right hand by him. The nice thing about 90-second rounds is they’re just going all out. Who knows who won this round, either.
Round 3: I’m not even going to pretend to note exactly what’s happening between the four men. Bank keeps getting caught in the middle and is eating punches from both the fellas from Phuket High and his own partner. It’s basically chaos, but it should be noted that the stoners aren’t exactly landing clean shots and are getting whacked every now and then.
FINAL RESULT: Bank & Golf def. Phuket High via decision
Tang Mo vs Kyoken Tampiyanan – The Hockey Fight (your guess is as good as mine)
Round 1: OK, so they simulated ice by putting some vinyl on the mat and smeared it with lubricant. It is legitimately slippery AF right now. Tang Mo falls on his face 10 seconds in. Kyoken can barely stay up, but it looks like he’s just too busy laughing at Mo. Mo is fat and keeps falling. There’s uh… nothing happening here. Mo is covered in KY-Jelly and baby shampoo. Mo has fallen at least 5 times.
Round 2: This is straight out of a cartoon. Mo tries a shove and faceplants again. Kyoken actually throwing a couple light punches and Mo is down again. Mo is calling a time out, as he’s just not having a good time here. The round ends and Mo rolls to his corner.
Round 3: We’re about to get a TKO via gravity. OK, this is smart, they’re kneeling now to start so they can get some punches in. Kyoken landing a lot here and Mo is not having a good time. Mo is now just sitting down, and this is his best idea. At least they’re getting in some punches now.
FINAL RESULT: Kyoken wins, Mo is greased and gassed.
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