Midnight Mania! The Internet Roasts Dana’s UFC 3 Stats, Dana Explains

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Welcome to Midnight Mania!

Dana White is a playable character in EA Sport’s UFC 3 video game.

According to Dana himself in an interview with GameInformer, this is something that fans wanted.

From what EA tells me, the fans have been asking for this for a long time. They asked me if I would be willing to do it and I said, “Yes, I think it’s great.” It’s fun. And for all the people out there that have wanted to punch me in the face over the last 20 years, this is your chance.

Sure, Dana. We don’t care about Curtis Blaydes, Darren Till, Josh Emmett, Nicco Montano, or Eryk Anders being in the game, but we care to have you in it.

Dana’s muscular build in the game is funny, but it’s his stats that are truly hilarious. He has better striking than Daniel Cormier.

This, also, is on purpose. Dana, who once tried to set up a boxing match between himself and Tito Ortiz, explains:

As far as the technique goes in the game, they modeled me after a boxer because I have boxing experience. But don’t be fooled, I have jiu-jitsu too, so don’t think that you’re going to take me to the ground and beat me up down there. My jiu-jitsu is actually pretty good, so you better be ready on your feet and on the ground.

Watch him finish Jon Jones with this body punch:

Poor Ngannou.

At least the developer himself has a sense of humor about it.

This one is funny because its’ true. Not a single fighter in the game will see money from their image or likeness being used, except for Dana.

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Insomnia

Khabib Nurmagomedov calling for Daniel Cormier to come back to the gym or “Cain will take us to WWE” made me chuckle

“Groovy” Lando Vannata shares some wisdom about being happy in life.

This is hilarious because if I was in this scenario I would also grapple with Cat Zingano, just to say I did it.

Yeah that’s a terrible idea

I found it really interesting that 88% of those I polled yesterday thought Nick Newell deserves to fight in the UFC, but you would never have known that from reading the comments. I saw the Justin Gaethje fight too y’all. Justin is a top ten UFC lightweight now. Nick could hang with the lower echelons of the UFC roster just fine.

Dillon Danis, who makes his Bellator debut soon, posts a picture that is no more ridiculous than his normal posts.

Someone please tell me how much weight this is so I can decide how impressed I am by Cyborg here. (I’m not familiar with these plates)

Lyoto Machida has always been the real life karate kid. Glad to see him still living out his gimmick.

What in red white and blue blazes is going on here in the faceoff between Kevin Lee and Edson Barboza?

Black Panther sneak attack while the tiger holds onto the low single. Good team MMA on display

Paige VanZant and her man are building an empire, FYI

I see MMA fighters do workouts I’ve never even heard of before. Here Ed Herman works the legs while blood flow to them is restricted.

This one is extremely practical though, as Israel Adesanya explains.

I want to be in the gym and see how rolls go down between Jon Fitch and Khabib Nurmagomedov. Fitch told me Khabib is one of those people whose strength you can feel the moment they grab you.

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Slips, Rips, and KO Clips

This, to me, is one of the most re-watchable fights of all time. It’s got patterns, variety, creativity, cartwheel kicks, clinch throws, hip tosses, combination punching, spinning elbows, sweeps, fighters pushed to their limit, both guys getting rocked hard, and nonstop violence.

I missed this when it happened but Ben Saunders and Alan Jouban really threw down

I never saw this fight either but Overeem leaping effortlessly into the air and holding onto the cage was a pretty phenomenal display of athleticism

Yeah that front kick is from depths of Hades.

Guys… GUYS. Sumo is back.

The guy in red won this.

Regular wrestling is still here too

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Random Land

This dude is in trouble. The internet pointed out various aspects of this video that were funny, possibly the best being the advice to read the clif notes.

All the white girls look busted in the old paintings.

A dolphin giving birth is surprisingly satisfying to watch

This looks so peaceful

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