(“350 bucks?! These supplements were only 315 last week, you snake in the grass!”)
In news that is gonna blow your mind right through the back of your skull, Wanderlei Silva is once again talking absolute nonsense about the future of his MMA career.
If you’ve forgotten or simply don’t care anymore, Silva is still awaiting his official punishment from the Nevada State Athletic Commission for skipping out on his random drug test prior to UFC 175, which he claimed he didn’t do, then claimed he did do but only because he was on diuretics. While Dana White assured us that he would be “buried” for his insolence, Silva recently popped out of the hole he’s been presumably living in for the past month to ensure us that everything is hunky-dory (via Tatame/Bleacher Report):
Life is great. I’m training well. I did a test on my own in Brazil, on June 6, to see if the corticoid and the diuretic were already out of my body. I also tested my testosterone levels. At my age, the level is 180, and I’m at 160. I’m totally clean and cleared to fight as soon as possible. I’m just waiting for the UFC to tell me a date and local. In two months, I will be ready to fight.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’d have a lot more faith in Wandy’s words had they been shouted at me in a basement while bro-rock blared in the background.
But did you hear that guys? Wanderlei passed a drug test! That he took at home! By himself! Where, oh where have we ever heard that before?
Just in case you weren’t sold on how far off the pasture Wanderlei has wandered, just take a gander at who he’s called out next, and why:
I would like to fight (Luke) Rockhold. He’s a good guy. He’s coming off wins and is the former Strikeforce champion. I think this (fight) could get me in line for the title. It would be perfect to fight him at Maracanazinho.
Fucking wow.
It’s almost as if Wanderlei has suddenly been struck down by Memento disease (which, considering the length of his professional career, could be true) and has no idea that he is nose deep in the most embarrassing scandal of his professional career. You back out of a fight with a bitter rival some two years in the making, literally run away from a drug test, and now think you’re in the position to start calling out fights (in Brazil, no less) and discussing your title aspirations? I would feel bad for you if I wasn’t too busy trying to contain myself from pasting a thousand The Rock eye roll gifs into this post. I am the Axe Murderer’s inflated ego…
We’ll be sure to let you know just how wrong Wanderlei is when his NSAC punishment is handed down, but in the meantime, let’s hear it for Wanderlei Silva, everybody!