(TURN DOWN YOUR SPEAKERS. YOU WILL THANK US.)
Right now, the East Coast has basically been shut down by Snowstorm Nemo, a frigid, unrelenting bastard of a blizzard that has cast the majority of our coastal cities into a state of chaos. The streets of Boston, for instance, are either gridlocked beyond the point of visibility, or conversely barren, save the ever-increasing presence of snow. It’s the kind of storm that makes you feel like using hyperbole when attempting to describe it, and if you’re an MMA fan, it’s also the kind of storm that makes you want to cancel all your plans and surf the web for knockout videos while drinking yourself into an early grave.
Luckily for you, I’ve already done all three of those things for you, starting with the above video of the Collin Reuter/Gerald Fike fight that went down at SAARFC II on February 1st. The fight has gained some notoriety around the web over the past week, not for ending with a spectacular technique ala Uriah Hall, but rather for the manner in which Fike collapsed to the canvas once he was knocked out. Not since the unconscious masturbater have I seen such a hilariously brutal reaction to a KO as Fike, who appears to mimic one of the Golden Arches before crashing head over heels into the fence.
Here at CagePotato, we’ve been responsible for trademarking such unique knockouts as “The Falling Tree” and “The Lawn Chair,” but this one had even us at odds when it came to deciding upon a name. “The Slinky,” “The Reverse Cowgirl,” and “The Gumby” were among our top choices, but we’ll leave it up to you Taters to decide. Just this once, we ask that you don’t make us regret our decision. Just. This. Once.
And if you think that KO was great, check out a couple more below…
Props to our buddies over at MiddleEasy for this video, which showcases a Scottish Muay Thai match between senior citizens that ends with the same thing that everything else involving senior citizens ends with, sleep.
And finally, two Polish guys walk into an MMA ring. They both lose.
Fin.