Suplex! Lady sics boyfriend on co-worker, both discover love is pain

In the latest edition of “Judo Chump,” poor guy might end up in the doghouse, and it ain’t even really his fault. Hard times.

Romance, especially that of the summer variety, is an immeasurably strong bond. Often, relationships grow so strong, so passionate, that you’re willing to do whatever it takes for your significant other.

Even when you really shouldn’t, or just plain can’t.

Today we’ll be looking at a pair of lovebirds that choose to live dangerously and defy the odds, like Clarence Worley and Alabama Whitman. Their adventure was just as strenuous and impressive, but their love may not be as pure in the end.

An unidentified young lady appears to have had a disagreement with a colleague at her place of employment, leading to a very nasty verbal dispute. Words were exchanged, to the point where bon môts were not enough. She reached for the Sword of Omens, put the call out to her main squeeze, and dude rolled up to the spot ready to deliver them hands, tax-free. He was ready to feast on the tormentor of his beloved.

But it turns out that knuckles were not the only thing on the menu. Our unfortunate would-be hero encountered a man that had apparently graduated with honors from the School of Gary Albright (RIP, king) and got some frequent flier miles put in as the villain of this story decided he was going to relive flashbacks of Taz vs Bam Bam Bigelow, only on concrete.

The internet was as relentless as usual, and it really didn’t take long for things like this to pop up:

You remember that OG Genesis intro chime? The “Seeeeeegaaaaa” bit? It’ll be stuck in your head for a bit after this one.

Dude must’ve channeled the power of Scott Steiner without the math (y’all remember that?), because the belly-to-belly he nailed was choice.

But you gotta pay homage to the guy for showing up on no notice, no questions asked, ready to finally put to use the three weeks he spent at the boxing gym back when Detlef Schrempf and Hersey Hawkins were still relevant. The unfortunate beau had no way of knowing that he was dealing with a man that had all that pent-up rage from a long day at work and a chip on his shoulder from dealing with his lady. A lady who decided that while she wasn’t going to go hand to hand with him, the boyfriend would definitely deliver. That’s already a major red flag, the guy’s gonna be heated before you get there and chances are he’s already done his chin-ups like Rocky 4 in that goddamn cabin. He was already a millionaire in that movie, he didn’t have to do that. But yeah, she overestimated her man’s ability to rumble and now they both look jumbo goofy on Tito Puentes’ internet for no good reason.

At least the internet agrees that whatever scenario she had conjured in her mind:

I always say it: at some point in his life, every man thinks he can rap, and every man thinks he can fight. Remember this thought, because it’s universal. This guy failed on one front, and he may not end up on his lady’s good side after this. He’d better not expect any sympathy here, and she should have known better than to think of tagging in a partner to deal with her problems in the first place. But hey, that’s life. All parties involved just had to find out the hard way. The numbers didn’t lie, and they spelled disaster for our guy… at Sacrifice.

Until the next one, kids. Because you know there’s always battles like this raging worldwide.