(Unfortunately, the catcalls directed towards Ms. Baker could not be heard that night, as they were drowned out by the deafening chirps of a thousand crickets. Photo via Getty.)
By Jared Jones (channeling Dana White’s inner rage)
‘Sup, fuckers. D-White here.
You know, there was a lot of disgusting, f*cking despicable things being said about the quality of UFC 177 and its lineup by you f*cking asshole media members in the weeks leading up to it. Jonathan Snowdick said he wasn’t buying it, and that everyone should send a message to me about the continually dwindling quality of our product by doing the same. Those CagePotato bastards couldn’t even be bothered to liveblog it, and Dave Meltzer said some nasty things too, because Dave Meltzer is a f*cking scumbag asshole.
Sure, maybe the card lost an Olympian, it’s original co-main event, and it’s main event at the last minute. And yeah, UFC 177 as a whole only contained two fighters ranked in the top 15 in their division, and only two of the 144 ranked fighters in all 9 divisions, but this card was worth every penny of the $54.99 it cost, you unappreciative fucks! CRITICIZING SOMETHING MEANS YOU HATE IT.
Let me ask you this, you insatiable, armchair expert, dickhead media members: If UFC 177 was so shitty, then surely the fighters salaries would reflect it, right? Well, read ‘em and weep!
T.J. Dillashaw: $100,000 (includes $50,000 win bonus)
def. Joe Soto: $20,000Tony Ferguson: $40,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)
def. Danny Castillo: $36,000Bethe Correia: $24,000 (includes $12,000 win bonus)
def. Shayna Baszler: $8,000Carlos Diego Ferreira: $20,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
def. Ramsey Nijem: $18,000Yancy Medeiros: $24,000 (includes $12,000 win bonus)
def. Damon Jackson: $8,000Derek Brunson: $44,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
def. Lorenz Larkin: $28,000Anthony Hamilton: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
def. Ruan Potts: $10,000Chris Wade: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
def. Cain Carrizosa: $8,000
CHECKMATE, FUCKERS!
You see that? Three — count ‘em, three — fighters on the card cleared over $40,000*! In one night! Shayna Baszler made nearly 10K, for Christ’s sake, and she fought in the co-co-main event! Do you know what you can do with ten thousand dollars? That’s enough to almost tip the dealer after a typical night at one of the casinos you *aren’t* banned from! Enough to purchase a black market kidney to replace the one you lost at Scores during that poker game with Michael Jordan! I bet you feel foolish now, MMA media dickheads, for saying that UFC 177 was a TUF Finale-level card comprised of C and D-level fighters at best.
Not that your opinions even matter, because if you had opinions, you wouldn’t be credentialed in the first place! It’s a perfect system!!
In conclusion: Anyone who bashes our product is a f*cking idiot or jealous of our success. There’s no such thing as oversaturation. PPV numbers are at an all time high. Tito Ortiz never existed.
Dana f*cking White out.
*Renan Barao didn’t make shit, though, because we’re trying to send a message that if you don’t fight, you don’t get paid. Unless you’re Stefan Struve.