“When I ripped my testicles open with a drill, I had to drive myself to the hospital in my pickup truck. I really wish I would’a had this Corvette, I would’a made it on time.”
The rule with local TV commercials is always that if you can’t make ‘em good, you gotta make ‘em funny. Line up a local celebrity, give them a bare bones script, and try to capture a little comedy gold.
To that end, Drive on Time Motors in Searcy, Arkansas appears to have succeeded perfectly. The pre-owned auto dealership contracted none other than rising UFC star, and Arkansas native, Bryce ‘Thugnasty’ Mitchell to be their spokesman, and the results were nothing short of magical.
“Hey y’all, this is Bryce ‘Thugnasty’ Mitchell here. I’m at Drive on Time Motors, 900 Eastline Rd., Searcy, Arkansas, White County,” Mitchell tells the camera after a brief shot of a Corvette spinning donuts in a parking lot. “They paid me to be here. These ain’t my cars, and I don’t really care about ‘em.”
Cue Mitchell kicking in the Corvette’s window, taking on the ‘sky guy’ wacky inflatable tube man like it’s a heavy bag, and telling viewers about the company’s #1 (ish) inventory and #1 (ish) prices. Back to some more shadow boxing, Mitchell shooting out a car window, and the kind of endorsement money just can’t buy.
“When I ripped my testicles open with a drill, I had to drive myself to the hospital in my pickup truck. I really wish I would’a had this Corvette, I would’a made it on time.”