(If what we’re all thinking is, “I need to start partying with Jon Jones!!”)
I don’t know about you guys, but I was shocked (shocked I tell you!) and disgusted when I heard that Jon Jones — a multi-millionaire athlete in the prime of his career — was a dirty cocaine user. I mean, Krokodil is like, *way* fancier than coke and it gets you sooooo much higher. What a noob, right?
And when Jones bounced out of his 30-day rehab stint 29 days early? Clearly a cry for help from a man with such an addiction problem that he tested clean two weeks after he failed and then beat an Olympian until he cried two weeks after that. He’s basically Lindsay Lohan with Gibbon arms.
The point of my sarcastic rant is, Jon Jones is going to be fine. He slipped up once (well, twice) and will hopefully use this experience to better himself and refocus on certain areas of his life that he perhaps let get a little out of control. You know it, I know it, and Chuck Liddell knows it. So when TMZ Sports (via MMAWeekly) caught up with the former light heavyweight champion last night, he was quick to tell us all what we needed to hear: Calm the f*ck down and give Jon Jones a break.
Video after the jump.
“But Jared and/or Chuck, Jon Jones is a professional athlete and needs to serve as a role model to blah blah and also yadda yadda. Rabble! Rabble!!”
And you’re right, John Q. Pedestal. Everyone who has an above-average ability to dribble a ball or kick someone in the face should be aware that, in order to do so, they must first eradicate the part of their brain that weakens them to the temptations that come with said abilities. But Jones didn’t do that, and maybe allowed himself to fall prey to those constant temptations. This is also what we call “being human,” which many of us seem to overlook while casting shade from our thrones of perfection on Mt. Internet Comments Section. I mean Jesus, people, it’s like you’ve never seen an episode of Behind the Music before.
Look, I’m not going to say that Jones’ possible cocaine problem is something that should be celebrated. That’s the UFC’s/his mother’s job. I’m just saying that for once, Internet, could we tone it down with the faux outrage? I know it’s asking a lot from the same people who lost their minds when a rocket scientist wore a sexist t-shirt, but let’s not act as if the majority of us wouldn’t be blowing lines off a dead mule’s hoof while gambling away the last of our pesos on an underground cockfighting match if put in the same position as Jones.
(What? It’s like you’ve never been to Tijuana before.)