(Just another day at Stockton HQ. That guy to the right? CEO of Finances and Anti-Bullshit.)
Following in the footsteps of his former promotion, Nick Diaz’s WAR MMA recently released a “Danavlog”-style video detailing the ins and outs of an upstart promotion in the days leading up to their first event, which went down last weekend to mixed results. Why anyone involved allowed MMAFighting’s E. Casey Leydon to do this, or release the specific footage that he did, defies the most basic entrepreneurial logic imaginable, but such is Nick Diaz.
The footage, which depicts Diaz’s crew of cohorts smoking weed (specifically resin, because what? You can’t smoke Cali Kush on a UFC salary), breaking into cars, and failing to even get their promoter to show up to the weigh-ins as promised (classic Diaz, amiright?), is damning evidence on almost every level. And yet, they allowed it to be released. Willingly. Like if the NSA had chosen to hand Edward Snowden the PRISM metadata, a Presidential Medal of Freedom and a first class ticket to Moscow on live television.
How an organization so haphazardly assembled even managed to pull off an event the size of WAR MMA without anyone dying is simply shocking when viewed through the hindsight goggles of this video, so join us after the jump as we marvel in the ridiculousness that is a Nick Diaz business venture.
A few of our favorite moments:
0:09 – The ominous preface text straight out of The Blair Witch Project is disturbingly appropriate for what’s about to come.
1:06 – Weigh-ins at Buffalo Wild Wings are this year’s weigh-ins at Wal-Mart.
4:00 – Well at least the audience attending the weigh-ins could keep things as civil as the fighters.
4:43 – Diaz’s lawyer, Jonathan Tweedale, attempting to justify Diaz not showing up for HIS OWN PROMOTION’S WEIGH-INS as previously promised by claiming that “He wants the focus to be on the fighters.” Right.
7:15 – “Phone charger is wrapped around the doorknob? Fuck it!”
7:22 – Less than an hour before the fights and we’re already breaking into cars with coat hangers and a fucking sai. Bull Mountain, don’t go changin on me!
9:00 – According to Tweedale, some “fucking assholes” attacked the WAR MMA stream servers. I wonder…who…it…could’ve…been.
11:43 – Tweedale – “Is that tobacco?”
Anonymous – “No.”
Tweedale – “Do you have a lighter?”
Anonymous – “It’s resin.”
Tweedale – “Resin?!” *sets down bong*
13:00 – This situation has officially devolved into a Monty Python’s Flying Circus sketch.
15:06 – Out first true glimpse at Diaz the promoter, who is all shaking hands and telling mothers to kiss their own goddamn babies.
15:19 – It appears that Clay Guida’s years of alcohol abuse are finally starting to catch up with him.
17:30 – MY GOD DAT GIRL ON THE RIGHT.
18:19 – Weirdest. Make-a-Wish. Ever.
20:00 – Did I just hear a Secret of Mana reference? HESPECT.
The video ends with Diaz discussing his plans, or lack thereof, for a second WAR MMA event. And just like that, a major player in the MMA world was toppled. Tune in next week for more behind-the-scenes footage from WAR MMA, featuring a pre-fight dice game outside a Wendy’s, Tweedale visiting his doctor and being diagnosed with a brain aneurysm, and a plethora of F-bombs that would make Dana White cover his ears in horror.