(Alright, Mr. Diaz, all we have left to do to grant you this license is take a quick gander over your known criminal histor-Aaaaaannnddd it’s gone!)
Not unlike the assassination of JFK, the news that Nick Diaz would be starting his own MMA promotion, subtly titled WAR MMA, came out of nowhere and completely blew our brains out. While some of us lauded the thought of an MMA promotion that would finally eliminate all the bitch-ass rules and stipulations that have been holding the UFC back for years (marijuana testing, a mere 8 weight classes, “the bullshit,” etc.), the rest of us reacted in horror. Here is a guy who couldn’t even tell you the last time he paid his own taxes, and now we’re going to put him in charge of other people’s livelihoods (and lives themselves)? Talk about the blind leading the blind.
Thankfully, we as a species are drawn to tragedy like moths to light, hence why Diaz is currently awaiting approval on a temporary promoter’s license so he can get the wheels on this inevitable five-car pileup spinning. Sherdog reports:
California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Andy Foster that Diaz is currently applying for a temporary promoter’s license.
Once all mandatory paperwork has been submitted, Foster said, the onus will fall on Foster to grant Diaz the temporary license. According to Sherdog.com’s source, the Diaz camp is targeting a June 22 event date at the Stockton Arena and also has plans to stream the event live on the Internet. However, Diaz cannot apply for that date and location through the CSAC until his temporary license is granted. If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly, Diaz could then appear before the CSAC at the next official meeting and apply for a full promoter’s license.
First off, Stockton has its own arena? Or is that simply what Diaz has dubbed the collection of hastily stacked bicycle tires and chicken wire in his backyard? And as far as streaming the event live on the internet goes, we just hope that the Diaz camp realizes what they’re getting into. But who are we kidding? There’s NO WAY they realize what they’re getting into.
But of the information Sherdog passed along, we think the bit that requires extra emphasis is “If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly.” Forget the fact that this promotion is being run on the whim of a guy who has been involved in not one but two in-ring brawls (and one that took place in a hospital). Forget the fact that Diaz — a guy who has complained about being shortchanged his entire career — suddenly has the money to start an MMA promotion. Forget all of that if you can and simply adjust your eyes to the following tweet.
God help us, the brothers Diaz are reaching out to notorious bottom-feeder Jose Canseco to presumably headline their first event in a freak show of the decade match against Shaquille O’Neal. The retired basketball player and current TruTV webclip show host. No word yet on whether Bob Sapp will be making an appearance at this event as well.
While on one hand, booking this fight would draw a ridiculous amount of media attention to the event (which honestly, does Diaz even want that?), it would also all but seal the door on WAR MMA ever being taken seriously as a promotion. The fact is, plenty of fans are going to tune in to see Nick Diaz fight, plain and simple. Even more of us are going to tune in for the chance to see a fighter get shivved on his way to the ring. Why discredit yourselves from the get-go by involving Canseco, whose lone entry into the world of mixed martial arts was a work against Hong Man Choi? Don’t get us wrong, we’d love to see “Wilt Chamberneezy” put a hurting on Canseco, but if you honestly believe that this fight will end in anything other than disappointment, brother, you are a lost cause.
Surely a YAMMA-level disaster is on the horizon.