Tag: Bellator 130

Bellator 130 Fail-GIF: Bobby Lashley’s Opponent Flops to Mat, Loses

(Props: ZombieProphet)

We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.

Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.

The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.

For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.


(Props: ZombieProphet)

We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.

Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.

The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.

For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.

MAIN CARD
– Emanuel Newton def. Linton Vassell via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:47 of round 5
– Bobby Lashley def. Karl Etherington via submission (punches), 1:31 of round 1
– Marloes Coenen def. Annalisa Bucci via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:57 of round 3
– Dave Jansen def. Rick Hawn via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27 x 2)

PRELIMINARY CARD
– David Rickels vs. Davi Ramos
– Ricky Musgrave def. Joe Wilk via TKO, 2:45 of round 1
– Marcio Navarro def. Cody Carillo via submission (strikes), 2:09 of round 3
– Daniel Gallemore def. Gzim Selmani via TKO, 4:33 of round 2 …when Gallemore slugs Selmani in his fat belly, it’s just mean.
– Sam Oropeza def. Gary Tapusoa via TKO, 2:31 of round 1
– Darrion Caldwell def. Anthony Dizy via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
– Aaron Derrow def. Nate Jolly via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Alex Huddleston def. Derek Bohi via TKO, 4:04 of round 1


(The Hardcore Kid’s hardcore victory dance.)

Just Who the Hell Is Bellator 130 Headliner Linton Vassell, Exactly?


(Photo via Sherdog)

When Bellator light heavyweight champion Emanuel Newton was inexplicably booked to face former UFC journeyman Joey Beltran at Bellator 124, we were concerned to say the very least. Beltran has always been a gamer, sure, but his recent performances (which included a KO loss to Rampage Jackson and a decision win over Vladimir Matyushenko under the Bellator banner) didn’t exactly paint him as a man ready to face one of Bellator’s most elite fighters. Then this happened:

So yeah, Beltran *might* have been a little out of his league that night, but being that two of Bellator’s top light heavyweights are currently locked in a WWE-style feud with one another, viable contenders appear limited for “The Hardcore Kid.” Just take a look at Newton’s recently scheduled next opponent, if you don’t believe us…


(Photo via Sherdog)

When Bellator light heavyweight champion Emanuel Newton was inexplicably booked to face former UFC journeyman Joey Beltran at Bellator 124, we were concerned to say the very least. Beltran has always been a gamer, sure, but his recent performances (which included a KO loss to Rampage Jackson and a decision win over Vladimir Matyushenko under the Bellator banner) didn’t exactly paint him as a man ready to face one of Bellator’s most elite fighters. Then this happened:

So yeah, Beltran *might* have been a little out of his league that night, but being that two of Bellator’s top light heavyweights are currently locked in a WWE-style feud with one another, viable contenders appear limited for “The Hardcore Kid.” Just take a look at Newton’s recently scheduled next opponent, if you don’t believe us…(via MMAJunkie):

Bellator MMA’s final regular Friday event of the season is set and will be headlined by a light heavyweight title fight. Champion Emanuel Newton (24-7 MMA, 7-1 BMMA) will defend his title against Linton Vassell (14-3 MMA, 3-0 BMMA) in the main event of Bellator 130. Promotion officials today announced the headliner and the rest of the card.

Linton Vassell? Who the hell is Linton Vassell? What, was Attila Vegh not available for another-oh, that’s right. I am not afraid to admit that I have no idea who this cat is, but let’s take a gander over this Vincent Lassell’s record, shall we?

That’s…not bad, actually. Anton Verchelli is 3-0 under the Bellator banner with two stoppage victories in 2014, and will be riding a 9 fight win streak into his fight with Newton. Also, his nickname is “The Swarm” and I’m not even sure how it’s physically possible for that nickname to apply to a sole entity.

At 14-3, Quinton Pastel is a hell of a lot more qualified than Beltran ever was to face the likes of “The Hardcore Kid.” At the same time, this matchup simply makes one scratch their head and wonder why Bellator opted *not* to match Newton against Liam McGeary, who won the 2014 Summer Series light heavyweight tournament with a super slick inverted triangle choke over Kelly Anundson on the very same night that Newton last defended his title. So yeah, the f*ck is this matchup.

Of course, Season 10 light heavyweight tournament winner Quinton Jackson also seems like a more viable matchup for Newton, but he has apparently dropped off the face of the earth since decisioning King Mo back in May. (We’re guessing that potential matchup would be saved for Bellator’s next PPV go anyway.)

But yeah, we’re getting Manny Newts vs. Dustin Vasectomy, who didn’t even win a goddamned tournament. Bjork Rubme is spinning in his grave.

–J. Jones