(Hey, if it can happen to Joe Lauzon, it can happen to anyone, right?)
Featuring special appearances by Arianny Celeste and Bruce Buffer, the most recent “Web Redemption” on Tuesday’s episode of Tosh.0 was probably the most star studded redemption to date. That’s not saying much for a show whose “celebrity” guest list has included the Cobra Kai Sensei, Carrot Top, and whoever David Archuleta is, but still, you get what we’re saying.
Starring Brandon “Bitch Boy” Han a.k.a the wuss who got choked out by a girl, and Courtnie Korpela a.k.a the woman who will haunt his dreams forever, this web rematch carried the fate of the male sex on its shoulders. With Ronda Rousey already making bold claims that she could beat up most of the male fighters in her weight division, we needed to suppress this notion of “equality in the cage” once and for all.
Go figure, Buffer showed up and totally stole the show, combining childlike enthusiasm with some clever insults such as, ”…in the adorable, non-threatening blue trunks,” “standing 5’1 and weighing none of your goddamn business,” and my personal favorite, ”…and in the kitchen, I’m sorry, I meant the secretary desk.”
Tosh, on the other hand, opts for a mix of ignorance, latent homosexuality, and a Brock Lesnar-esque microphone tattoo in order to get his laughs, most of which hit their mark (especially the rip on Affliction t-shirts). But mocking Randy Couture’s record? Oh no you di’int.
That’s Captain America you’re talking about you fucking Kraut.
But thank Christ, the 17 year old Han was able to emerge victorious over Korpela, securing a mounted triangle for the victory. Its safe to say that every man on this Earth will sleep better tonight.
Fun fact: Korpela trains with UFC veteran Eric Schafer over at Red Schafer Mixed Martial Arts. So at least you learned something today.
-J. Jones
