(If you’re controlling the Japanese fighter against Rampage, just hit down, down, up, X, down to poison his food.)
By Jason Moles
Two weeks ago, fans around the world were delighted to partake in the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s latest attempt to broaden its revenue streams with the release of UFC Undisputed 3. It didn’t take long before word began to spread about just how incredible the game is. But despite all of the improvements and advantages that Undisputed 3 has over the game’s first two installments — such as an improved submission system, a less cluttered career mode, and the inclusion of two additional weight classes and a PRIDE mode — the game just isn’t quite “as real as it gets.” At least not yet. Here are five things that UFC and THQ need to add the next go-’round if they want to put a little truth in their advertising and gain some more street cred among UFC die-hards.
Hat Thieves: If you’ve been watching the sport for any amount of time you will have noticed that fighters love to promote their sponsors with every opportunity they get, from donning their gear to slapping a sticker on everything they wear. Some even go as far tattooing a logo on their calf. One of the easiest ways to rep a company that gives you a paycheck for the exposure is to throw a ball cap on your head on the way to the Octagon…and hope that you still have it on when you hit the Harley Davidson prep point.
Hat snatchers are the lowest of the low, depending on whom you ask, and yet they add a comically endearing bit of chaos to the broadcast. C’mon, admit it. You chuckle every time a hat vanishes into the crowd. Therefore when my created fighter, The Bulldog, makes his way to the cage, I want to see someone snatch his hat. Then, and only then, will I know I’ve made it.
The Ultimate Fighter Online Capability: Think of The Sims if they were all ready to destroy a door or ejaculate on their roomie’s food. You create a fighter, get a few local fights, and hope to pass the TUF tryouts. Survive the TUF house by training and beating anyone that gets in your way and snag a six-figure contract in the UFC. The best parts of the new TUF mode are the coach’s challenges and the down-time in between fights and training. Just think of the fun to be had in the virtual mansion as you hide a dude’s gloves preventing him from hitting the heavy bag later on or sprinkling itching powder on someone’s bed.
Verbal Assaults and Coaching Advice from Belligerent Fans: “Get a room!”, “Kick his ass!”, and “Punch him with your punches!” are all things shouted by inebriated fans. Sure, I can see how you’d think this was a bad thing to add to the game, but just imagine the look on your girlfriend’s face when your fighter is on his back with GSP in full mount showing off his spectacular Lay and Pray. (Yes, this is really a selectable gameplan in Undisputed 3.) As soon as a FOX noob in the stands yells, “Get a room!” she’ll smile and inform you that that was exactly what she was thinking. Is it as annoying as listening to the same questions being asked to fighters by three or four different so-called journalists? You bet. But that’s how the game is played.
Weight Cutting Mini-Game: An optional feature, the weight-cutting mini game before each fight would challenge you to get your fighter on weight by performing a correct sequence of buttons, like dancing in GTA, or hitting the correct buttons at precisely the right time a la Guitar Hero. Each successful button pressed allows your fighter more time in the sauna thus, he has a greater chance of making weight. On the other hand, should you miss weight you will be penalized 20% of your purse in Career Mode and your stats will be impacted negatively in all modes, including online. If you fail as miserably as Anthony “Rumble” Johnson did, you may just get cut from the UFC and demoted to a spot in Supremacy MMA.
Joe Rogan ‘Castigation Mode‘: Ahh, Joe Rogan. Is there nothing controversial that doesn’t involve you? Don’t get us wrong, bro, we love you on the stick and your antics are indeed comedy gold, but some of the ish that comes out of your mouth is complete insanity. For better or worse, Rogan will forever be linked to ultimate fighting and some of the crazier things that have happened will forever be remembered thanks solely to the masterful commentary of “Balloons.” I especially love your ‘Spilled Bag of Ice Meltdown‘. In this much-needed addition to the next installment of Undisputed, gamers would be treated to the following:
– Auto-correction of improper Rubber Guard technique
– Referee challenging
– Challenging a fighter’s preparation
– Diamond MMA cup plug
– Mocking fighters who clearly don’t know $%*@ about BJJ
& much, much more!
What do you think? Tell us what you want to see in the next UFC video game in the comments section.