I don’t know how this gif has flown under the radar in the month since One FC 28 went down, but my God, you guys, it is glorious.
Around the midway point of a flyweight contest between the 2-1 Ze Wu and then-undefeated prospect Jianbing Yang, Wu attempted…something. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I do know that it was equal parts Chad Mendes somersault guard pass and the Eric Prindle-Thiago Santos groin strike saga personified in one move. Possibly while under the influence of a mind-altering drug, Zu lept into the air, cartwheeled over Yang’s outstretched legs, and landed a direct strike to his nards. Then proceeded to walk away and shrug as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.
Never before have we ever seen an illegal blow so simultaneously devastating and… beautiful — I dare say that it will redefine our understanding of the groin strike altogether. We tried to reach out to nutshot aficionado Joe Rogan for comment, who could only offer this expression before retreating back into his home.
After the jump: An alternate angle of the strike and a video of it happening in real-time.
I don’t know how this gif has flown under the radar in the month since One FC 28 went down, but my God, you guys, it is glorious.
Around the midway point of a flyweight contest between the 2-1 Ze Wu and then-undefeated prospect Jianbing Yang, Wu attempted…something. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I do know that it was equal parts Chad Mendes somersault guard pass and the Eric Prindle-Thiago Santos groin strike saga personified in one move. Possibly while under the influence of a mind-altering drug, Zu lept into the air, cartwheeled over Yang’s outstretched legs, and landed a direct strike to his nards. Then proceeded to walk away and shrug as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.
Never before have we ever seen an illegal blow so simultaneously devastating and… beautiful — I dare say that it will redefine our understanding of the groin strike altogether. We tried to reach out to nutshot aficionado Joe Rogan for comment, who could only offer this expression before retreating back into his home.
After the jump: An alternate angle of the strike and a video of it happening in real-time.
It is worth noting that these gifs have been labeled as “Spinning Dick Attack” 1 and 2, which makes what happened sound less like a hilarious foul and more like what I do at weddings after a half-dozen shots of Jager. It’s a wonder why my brother’s in-laws won’t speak to me anymore.
Here’s the video of the foul, appropriately titled “Impressive side flip ball stomp.” If that isn’t the name of a death metal album by the end of the day, humanity will have failed.
I don’t know how this gif has flown under the radar in the month since One FC 28 went down, but my God, you guys, it is glorious.
Around the midway point of a flyweight contest between the 2-1 Ze Wu and then-undefeated prospect Jianbing Yang, Wu attempted…something. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I do know that it was equal parts Chad Mendes somersault guard pass and the Eric Prindle-Thiago Santos groin strike saga personified in one move. Possibly while under the influence of a mind-altering drug, Zu lept into the air, cartwheeled over Yang’s outstretched legs, and landed a direct strike to his nards. Then proceeded to walk away and shrug as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.
Never before have we ever seen an illegal blow so simultaneously devastating and… beautiful — I dare say that it will redefine our understanding of the groin strike altogether. We tried to reach out to nutshot aficionado Joe Rogan for comment, who could only offer this expression before retreating back into his home.
After the jump: An alternate angle of the strike and a video of it happening in real-time.
I don’t know how this gif has flown under the radar in the month since One FC 28 went down, but my God, you guys, it is glorious.
Around the midway point of a flyweight contest between the 2-1 Ze Wu and then-undefeated prospect Jianbing Yang, Wu attempted…something. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I do know that it was equal parts Chad Mendes somersault guard pass and the Eric Prindle-Thiago Santos groin strike saga personified in one move. Possibly while under the influence of a mind-altering drug, Zu lept into the air, cartwheeled over Yang’s outstretched legs, and landed a direct strike to his nards. Then proceeded to walk away and shrug as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.
Never before have we ever seen an illegal blow so simultaneously devastating and… beautiful — I dare say that it will redefine our understanding of the groin strike altogether. We tried to reach out to nutshot aficionado Joe Rogan for comment, who could only offer this expression before retreating back into his home.
After the jump: An alternate angle of the strike and a video of it happening in real-time.
It is worth noting that these gifs have been labeled as “Spinning Dick Attack” 1 and 2, which makes what happened sound less like a hilarious foul and more like what I do at weddings after a half-dozen shots of Jager. It’s a wonder why my brother’s in-laws won’t speak to me anymore.
Here’s the video of the foul, appropriately titled “Impressive side flip ball stomp.” If that isn’t the name of a death metal album by the end of the day, humanity will have failed.
Posted on r/mma earlier this morning, the GIF you are about to gaze upon with your eyeballs is not only the clear frontrunner for “MMA GIF of the Year” at this year’s Potato Awards, but should sweep the “Steve Nelmark Memorial ‘Is (s)he Dead?’ Award”, “MMA Fail of the Year”, and “Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year” categories as well. Come to think of it, it will probably take home the “Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year” prize too, because there is no way on God’s green earth that the fight captured in this gif was sanctioned by any athletic commission ever. It is truly one of the most laughable, horrific, captivating, and heartbreakingly sad 5-second animated images you will ever see, and I say that with absolutely zero hyperbole.
Posted on r/mma earlier this morning, the GIF you are about to gaze upon with your eyeballs is not only the clear frontrunner for “MMA GIF of the Year” at this year’s Potato Awards, but should sweep the “Steve Nelmark Memorial ‘Is (s)he Dead?’ Award”, “MMA Fail of the Year”, and “Most Embarrassing Knockout of the Year” categories as well. Come to think of it, it will probably take home the “Greatest Unsanctioned Fight of the Year” prize too, because there is no way on God’s green earth that the fight captured in this gif was sanctioned by any athletic commission ever. It is truly one of the most laughable, horrific, captivating, and heartbreakingly sad 5-second animated images you will ever see, and I say that with absolutely zero hyperbole.
(Fair warning: The gif may take a few seconds to adjust resolution. For a full-size gif of the action, either click on the image or go here).
You know, after watching this gif a couple dozen times and passing out twice from lack of oxygen, I am suddenly struck by a sudden, overwhelming sense of shame and regret. Like eating an entire bowl of cookie dough, what started out as a incredibly satisfying endeavor has quickly devolved into a study in self-loathing that multiplies tenfold with each spoonful I cram into my foodhole. Either this GIF is so hysterical that it has caused me to blow a funny fuse, or the moral implications of what I’ve just witnessed have just now begun to seep into my conscience. God, I hope it’s the former.
How can something like this even be allowed to happen in 2015? It would be like going into the doctor’s office with a flu and having him prescribe you a dozen leeches as treatment.
Was the blonde woman plucked from the street on the way to pick up her kids from soccer practice and told that she would receive a bottle of Chardonnay for each second she lasted in the cage?
Did she think that *this* was what hot yoga was? Crossfit, maybe?
Or was this, as I suspect, the abhorrent and inevitable culmination of a deeply depressed suburban housewife going through a midlife crisis? “I AM strong, Gary, and I’ll show you, your mother, the maid who I *know* you’re sleeping with…I’ll show everybody!!”
LOOK AT WHAT SHE’S WEARING FOR FIGHT ATTIRE, YOU GUYS.
I am exhausted. Goodnight.
[UPDATE]
Upon further research, I have learned that the blonde woman is question is not a random soccer mom picked from the streets, but Katie Castro, an actual MMA fighter who, according to her Sherdog profile, has competed three times as a “professional” (with zero amateur fights) and suffered three consecutive KO losses in a combined time of 54 seconds. This gif is actually taken from her most recent performance in January — a 10-second shellacking at the hands of Ilima-Lei Macfarlane, who was making her pro debut. A full video of the fight is below.
While everyone involved in this match — from the audience to Katie’s trainers (especially Katie’s trainers) — should be ashamed of themselves, I think we can all agree that now is the time to write in to our local representatives and urge them to shut these assholes down/bring their promoters in on criminal charges. That’s Xplode Fight Series, owned and operated by Gregg Sharp and based in Chula Vista, CA. Feel free to spam their Facebook page here in the meantime.
So why was Cody McKenzie, of all people, booked for a fight in Russia in the first place? Who knows. If we had to guess, we’d say that his salmon-fishing bout took a wrong turn at the Bering Strait. Cody now returns to the U.S., where he’ll prepare to be the star witness in the class-action lawsuit against the UFC.
(Do witnesses even give testimony in class-action lawsuits? I have no idea how this works. But it is, indeed, a funny image.)
So why was Cody McKenzie, of all people, booked for a fight in Russia in the first place? Who knows. If we had to guess, we’d say that his salmon-fishing bout took a wrong turn at the Bering Strait. Cody now returns to the U.S., where he’ll prepare to be the star witness in the class-action lawsuit against the UFC.
(Do witnesses even give testimony in class-action lawsuits? I have no idea how this works. But it is, indeed, a funny image.)
(Brandon Vera vs. Igor Subora. PRIDE…[*wipes away tear*]…neva die.)
ONE FC 23: Warrior’s Way just wrapped up in Pasay City, Philippines, featuring the promotional debuts of Brandon Vera and Roger Gracie, who were both victorious. Full results are below, and GIFs of the main card stoppages continue after the jump, via Zombie Prophet. As usual, brutal soccer kicks were involved.
– Bibiano Fernandes def. Dae Hwan Kim via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:16 of round 2
– Brandon Vera def. Igor Subora via KO (punch, soccer kicks), 3:54 of round 1
– Timofey Nastyukhin def. Eduard Folayang via KO (flying knee, soccer kicks), 3:11 of round 1
– Roger Gracie def. James McSweeney via TKO, 3:15 of round 3
– Kevin Belingon def. Koetsu Okazaki via unanimous decision
– Herbert Burns def. Honorio Banario via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:59 of round 1
– Jake Butler def. Sylvain Potard via unanimous decision
– Dejdamrong Sor Amnuaysirichoke def. Rene Catalan via KO (knee), 2:30 of round 1
– Ana Julaton def. Walaa Abas Mohamed Kamaly via unanimous decision
– Jujeath Nagaowa def. Tharoth Sam via TKO, 3:34 of round 2
(Bibiano Fernandes vs. Dae Hwan Kim)
(Brandon Vera vs. Igor Subora. PRIDE…[*wipes away tear*]…neva die.)
ONE FC 23: Warrior’s Way just wrapped up in Pasay City, Philippines, featuring the promotional debuts of Brandon Vera and Roger Gracie, who were both victorious. Full results are below, and GIFs of the main card stoppages continue after the jump, via Zombie Prophet. As usual, brutal soccer kicks were involved.
– Bibiano Fernandes def. Dae Hwan Kim via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:16 of round 2
– Brandon Vera def. Igor Subora via KO (punch, soccer kicks), 3:54 of round 1
– Timofey Nastyukhin def. Eduard Folayang via KO (flying knee, soccer kicks), 3:11 of round 1
– Roger Gracie def. James McSweeney via TKO (and possibly a busted right leg), 3:15 of round 3
– Kevin Belingon def. Koetsu Okazaki via unanimous decision
– Herbert Burns def. Honorio Banario via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:59 of round 1
– Jake Butler def. Sylvain Potard via unanimous decision
– Dejdamrong Sor Amnuaysirichoke def. Rene Catalan via KO (knee), 2:30 of round 1
– Ana Julaton def. Walaa Abas Mohamed Kamaly via unanimous decision
– Jujeath Nagaowa def. Tharoth Sam via TKO, 3:34 of round 2
(Ya never seen an Oirishmin move wit such fluidatee. / Props: Ryan Harkness)
Rumor has it, Conor McGregor learned these moves by watching just the first 20 minutes of Only the Strong. Seriously, though — this dude is an incredible athlete. And his shoe-game remains impeccable.
(Ya never seen an Oirishmin move wit such fluidatee. / Props: Ryan Harkness)
Rumor has it, Conor McGregor learned these moves by watching just the first 20 minutes of Only the Strong. Seriously, though — this dude is an incredible athlete. And his shoe-game remains impeccable.
