(Nope. Nothing suspicious here.)
Fact: Next to the DMV and Detroit, airports are the most terrible places on the face of our dying planet. Fact: Stephan Bonnar is a dog-fighting, gun-toting, BAMF who is not afraid to to stare Death in the eyes and wipe that bitchy smirk off his face. Being the “gives not a fuck” type of guy that “The American Pyscho” is, the MMA apparel company he co-founded, NGAUGE, have found themselves in quite a bit of hot water lately, mainly due to the “gives not a fuck” attitude of their “Trash Talkin Kids” t-shirt line. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.
After getting into a little legal tossup with Josh Koscheck last summer, you would probably think that Bonnar’s t-shirt based troubles were over. You would be wrong, and I would implore you to stop being so Goddamn ignorant.
You see, alongside Rich Franklin and Keith Jardine, Bonnar was kind enough to travel all the way to Bahrain to visit some of the U.S. Troops recently. He was likely charming, and he likely brightened their day. But proving that no good deed goes unpunished, on Bonnar’s way out of the country, he was detained by airport security, interrogated for over a day, and bitten by a poisonous camel spider before finally being allowed to leave. Why, you ask? Because apparently airport security didn’t appreciate the subtlety of the Melvin Guillard “Young Assassin” shirt that Bonnar was wearing.
He recounted the ridiculous story on Tuesday’s episode of Inside MMA:
We’re getting ready to leave Bahrain, and I get detained at the airport. Jardine and Franklin get on the flight, and they take me in the room. They’re asking me all these questions, and they’re furious. One guy’s comin’ in the room and pointin’ at me, all furious, like that. And, what I think is that, I had on the ’Young Assassin’ shirt, with Melvin Guillard, and there’s a guy with a turban with his brains spillin’ out. I don’t think they liked that too much.
Bonnar continued:
There was only one flight out for the day at 9:30 p.m. The United flight that I was on. They kept me at the airport so long, I missed my flight. I had to wait till the next day to get on the flight. So, I’m tired. I’m sleeping at the airport, and all of a sudden, I wake up to a burning sensation on my leg. It scared me. I went and brushed down on my leg and, sure enough, a spider about the size of my hand comes crawling out of my pant leg and takes off runnin’! I couldn’t believe my eyes! This big camel spider goes under the door. I try to chase it. I lose it, and then, my God, my leg swells up, I get a fever, it’s gettin’ infected…but, hey, I’m gettin’ the heck out of there. The next night, I’m on that 9:30 flight, I’m ready to board that flight when, lo and behold…THAT flight gets canceled! So I’m stuck there another day! So, I had the option of going in for an antibiotic IV or stay in the hospital a few days, but instead, I opted to go the oral route, three different kinds of antibiotics, and I got on that flight that next day and got the hell out of there! God bless America!
Not creeped out enough yet? Well, take a look at a photo of the bite he received on his leg while detained, one that apparently came from a spider the size of a dinner plate.
If you’ve got a couple more minutes, and somehow still haven’t filled your creep tanks for the day, we’ve posted the videos of Bonnar’s plight below. Enjoy?
-J. Jones
