Could We Be Looking at the End of TRT in MMA as We Know It?


(What…expecting someone else? Photo via Getty)

Start praying to whatever deity you see fit, Taters, because it looks like some progress is finally being made in the ongoing war against TRT in MMA. Yesterday, The Association of Ringside Physicians — an “international, non-profit organization dedicated to the health and safety of the boxer and mixed martial arts athlete” — released a statement calling for the end of therapeutic use exemptions for testosterone replacement therapy in combat sports, on the grounds that the treatment is being quote “abused out the asshole” by MMA fighters.

Alright, that quote might have been made up but this one definitely isn’t:

The incidence of hypogonadism requiring the use of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) in professional athletes is extraordinarily rare. Accordingly, the use of an anabolic steroid such as testosterone in a professional boxer or mixed martial artist is rarely justified.

Steroid use of any type, including unmerited testosterone, significantly increases the safety and health risk to combat sports athletes and their opponents. TRT in a combat sports athlete may also create an unfair advantage contradictory to the integrity of sport. Consequently, the Association of Ring side Physicians supports the general elimination of therapeutic use exemptions (TUE) for testosterone replacement therapy.

What does this mean, exactly? Not much. Or rather, not much yet.


(What…expecting someone else? Photo via Getty)

Start praying to whatever deity you see fit, Taters, because it looks like some progress is finally being made in the ongoing war against TRT in MMA. Yesterday, The Association of Ringside Physicians — an “international, non-profit organization dedicated to the health and safety of the boxer and mixed martial arts athlete” — released a statement calling for the end of therapeutic use exemptions for testosterone replacement therapy in combat sports, on the grounds that the treatment is being quote “abused out the asshole” by MMA fighters.

Alright, that quote might have been made up but this one definitely isn’t:

The incidence of hypogonadism requiring the use of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) in professional athletes is extraordinarily rare. Accordingly, the use of an anabolic steroid such as testosterone in a professional boxer or mixed martial artist is rarely justified.

Steroid use of any type, including unmerited testosterone, significantly increases the safety and health risk to combat sports athletes and their opponents. TRT in a combat sports athlete may also create an unfair advantage contradictory to the integrity of sport. Consequently, the Association of Ring side Physicians supports the general elimination of therapeutic use exemptions (TUE) for testosterone replacement therapy.

What does this mean, exactly? Not much. Or rather, not much yet.

You see, the ARP doesn’t actually have any power to get the gears moving on an anti-TRT crusade — they are simply the most respected organization so far to come out against it. That they decided to release such a statement, however, does further the notion that TRT is no longer just a topic of debate among hardcore MMA fans. And as more organizations like the ARP come out against TRT, general awareness regarding the treatment increases. Hopefully, this awareness will in turn put pressure on the doctors handing out unnecessary exemptions to fighters to reconsider.

When you take into account that most of the doctors in charge of monitoring these things appear to have a shaky understanding of the treatments themselves, one would think that further negative publicity could incentivize them to stop handing out exemptions altogether.

And the even better news? Recently converted TRT detractor Dana White has seconded the Association’s claims, stating quote “I am going to use this to fuck those cheating sonsabitches worse than they’ve ever been fucked before.”

I’m being told that the above statement is another unfortunate misquote. The actual statement White made to the Associated Press was:

The doctors came out and said they want to ban it? Well, that’s the answer. It’s legal in the sport. The commissions let you do it. You get an exemption, and you have to be monitored and all the stuff that’s going on, but if they’re going to do away with it? There you go. It’s a problem solved.

Although we think Dana might be misinterpreting the ARP’s statement as that of the actual doctors in charge of handing out TRT exemptions, this is undoubtedly good news for everyone not named Vitor Belfort. So fire up the band, Nation! The time for celebration is nearly upon us! (*releases flock of doves and uses them as skeet practice*)

J. Jones

Vitor Belfort Plans to Roll the Dice, Will Apply for a TRT Exemption in Nevada


(Fedor wore it better. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

When UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta announced that he wanted to book Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort in Las Vegas, it suggested that Belfort’s well-documented usage of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) might be in jeopardy.

Though the Phenom had been allowed to undergo hormone therapy while competing in Brazil throughout 2013 due to the looser standards in his home country, his 2006 steroid bust in Nevada led former NSAC executive director Keith Kizer to claim that Belfort would be unlikely to secure a TRT exemption for any future fight in Vegas. Then, Keith Kizer suddenly left his post earlier this month, opening the door for a replacement who might be, shall we say, more amenable to the UFC’s needs.

Which leads into today’s news that Belfort will indeed be applying for a therapeutic usage exemption for TRT in Nevada when his title fight against Weidman is officially booked. Ariel Helwani passed along the news on last night’s installment of UFC Tonight:

He said he’s on TRT and that his doctors said he has to be on it. This has been prescribed and he’s planning on applying to be on a TUE for the next fight.”

Well, bullshit. For the sake of argument, let’s take Belfort at his word — he needs to load up on testosterone in order to function normally. Is that a valid reason for any athletic commission to grant him an exemption? You’re gonna let a guy use steroids because he’s too sick to compete without them? Honestly, that sounds like the worst reason to give a professional fighter a TUE. But hey, we all know that in Brazil, doctors are essentially Gods and their advice must be followed at all costs, no matter how ridiculous.


(Fedor wore it better. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

When UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta announced that he wanted to book Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort in Las Vegas, it suggested that Belfort’s well-documented usage of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) might be in jeopardy.

Though the Phenom had been allowed to undergo hormone therapy while competing in Brazil throughout 2013 due to the looser standards in his home country, his 2006 steroid bust in Nevada led former NSAC executive director Keith Kizer to claim that Belfort would be unlikely to secure a TRT exemption for any future fight in Vegas. Then, Keith Kizer suddenly left his post earlier this month, opening the door for a replacement who might be, shall we say, more amenable to the UFC’s needs.

Which leads into today’s news that Belfort will indeed be applying for a therapeutic usage exemption for TRT in Nevada when his title fight against Weidman is officially booked. Ariel Helwani passed along the news on last night’s installment of UFC Tonight:

He said he’s on TRT and that his doctors said he has to be on it. This has been prescribed and he’s planning on applying to be on a TUE for the next fight.”

Well, bullshit. For the sake of argument, let’s take Belfort at his word — he needs to load up on testosterone in order to function normally. Is that a valid reason for any athletic commission to grant him an exemption? You’re gonna let a guy use steroids because he’s too sick to compete without them? Honestly, that sounds like the worst reason to give a professional fighter a TUE. But hey, we all know that in Brazil, doctors are essentially Gods and their advice must be followed at all costs, no matter how ridiculous.

For Belfort, testosterone therapy may be a performance-enabler rather than a performance-enhancer, but that doesn’t make his usage any more legitimate. I’m reminded of Karo Parisyan’s dependency on painkillers during the late part of his UFC run, which earned him a suspension and a fine following his appearance at UFC 94 in 2009. In Parisyan’s case, the drugs didn’t give him superhuman strength, but he’d be a physical and emotional wreck if he had to fight without them. That’s why painkillers generally fall under MMA’s unapproved substances list; theoretically, the UFC only wants healthy fighters competing.

In other words, “this treatment isn’t a performance enhancer, it just allows me to compete” shouldn’t hold water as a medical justification. Belfort allegedly suffers from an illness that would prevent him from being competitive with the UFC’s elite middleweights without the help of TRT. Really, he’s a very sick man. That’s the story he’s sticking to, anyway. And this is the guy who’s getting the next middleweight title shot in the UFC.

Your move, Nevada.

Ben Goldstein

Following UFC Suspension, ‘Bigfoot’ Silva Plans to Sue Doctor Who Oversaw His Testosterone Therapy


(Antonio’s shoe-size is “display only.” / Photo via instagram.com/bigfootsilva)

When Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva caught a nine-month suspension for elevated testosterone following his UFC Fight Night 33 battle against Mark Hunt, he claimed it wasn’t his fault — and we rolled our eyes. It’s hard to give the benefit of the doubt to a fighter who was previously suspended for a year due to a positive steroid test.

But Silva isn’t going quietly into his suspension. As he told MMAFighting’s Guilherme Cruz, Bigfoot plans to sue Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission (CABMMA) medical director Dr. Marcio Tannure, who authorized the veteran heavyweight’s therapeutic usage exemption for TRT, and oversaw his therapy. And if you listen to Silva’s side of the story, he might actually have a case here.

A week before his fight in Australia, Silva received a report from Tannure stating that his testosterone levels were low, and he should continue taking injections on a weekly basis. It seems possible that Tannure was unaware of just how soon Silva’s fight was coming up — but nevertheless, Silva’s followed the doctor’s orders, and it wound up costing him a $50,000 bonus and nine months of his career.

“I just did what they told me to do,” Silva told MMAFighting.com. “I’d never do something different that what the doctor told me to. I looked for a doctor with a good reputation, and he’s the UFC’s doctor in Brazil. I knew I’d be tested before and after the fight. Unfortunately, now I have to find the legal ways to overturn this situation or at least prove I’m not guilty…

“I took a shot at the same day he sent me that e-mail, and he asked me if I had another one to take with me to Australia, to take on fight week,” he said. “He authorized everything. I did exactly as I was informed to do.


(Antonio’s shoe-size is “display only.” / Photo via instagram.com/bigfootsilva)

When Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva caught a nine-month suspension for elevated testosterone following his UFC Fight Night 33 battle against Mark Hunt, he claimed it wasn’t his fault — and we rolled our eyes. It’s hard to give the benefit of the doubt to a fighter who was previously suspended for a year due to a positive steroid test.

But Silva isn’t going quietly into his suspension. As he told MMAFighting’s Guilherme Cruz, Bigfoot plans to sue Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission (CABMMA) medical director Dr. Marcio Tannure, who authorized the veteran heavyweight’s therapeutic usage exemption for TRT, and oversaw his therapy. And if you listen to Silva’s side of the story, he might actually have a case here.

A week before his fight in Australia, Silva received a report from Tannure stating that his testosterone levels were low, and he should continue taking injections on a weekly basis. It seems possible that Tannure was unaware of just how soon Silva’s fight was coming up — but nevertheless, Silva’s followed the doctor’s orders, and it wound up costing him a $50,000 bonus and nine months of his career.

“I just did what they told me to do,” Silva told MMAFighting.com. “I’d never do something different that what the doctor told me to. I looked for a doctor with a good reputation, and he’s the UFC’s doctor in Brazil. I knew I’d be tested before and after the fight. Unfortunately, now I have to find the legal ways to overturn this situation or at least prove I’m not guilty…

“I took a shot at the same day he sent me that e-mail, and he asked me if I had another one to take with me to Australia, to take on fight week,” he said. “He authorized everything. I did exactly as I was informed to do.

“You go get help with a doctor, you do the right thing, and now this story tarnishes my professional career,” he continued. “It tarnishes the great fight I did with Mark Hunt, and gave me a huge financial loss. The doctor knows that I cut weight, he knows how the body of a MMA fighter reacts. He should know at what level I would be with one shot. I felt like a lab rat. I did everything I was told to do and now I’m the cheater.”

To help build his defense, Silva plans to re-do his normal fight preparations under the supervision of different doctors:

“I’ll take the exact dosage I took, the exact timetable, and will get a doctor here in the U.S. and a doctor in Brazil to show to the fans that this is horrible for my career and the sport,” he said. “I want to prove that it was not my fault. When I have all the exams from both doctors, I want to sue (Dr. Tannure) for the moral and financial prejudice that he has caused me.”

Silva added that he’d like to continue undergoing TRT in the future as long as the UFC allows him to:

“I want to continue the treatment because it’s good for my personal life and my career as well. If you know what acromegaly is, you know what I have. My hormonal levels are not normal, my testosterone is too low, and I want to be on normal levels.
I thought about a thousand things since this all happened,” he continued. “I considered leaving the sport because of these unfair things, but I don’t give up that easily. I have to show that it was not my fault.”

It’s unfair that Silva could forever bear the mark of “cheater” just because a doctor got his timetable wrong. On the other hand, MMA fighters need to understand that when they inject synthetic testosterone into their bodies, they’re rolling the dice. As we mentioned yesterday, Silva was the sixth fighter to be busted for elevated testosterone in 2013, and that tally includes Ben Rothwell, who failed a drug test despite receiving a therapeutic usage exception for TRT and doing everything above-board.

In other words, TRT is still not an exact science, and unless you’re dealing with a very experienced endocrinologist, mistakes can be made. And if Bigfoot still decides to use TRT when he returns from suspension, the same thing could happen to him again. So, our lesson for today: Don’t get on TRT unless you really need it to function normally, and if you really need TRT to function normally, you might want to consider a line of work other than professional fighting.

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva Tests Positive for Elevated Testosterone, Hit With Nine-Month Suspension and Loss of $50,000 Bonus


(“Dammit, Jose! You told me this stuff was safe!” / Photo via Getty)

Sadly, one of the greatest heavyweight fights in UFC history will now have an asterisk next to it. Yesterday evening, MMAJunkie broke the news that Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva tested positive for elevated testosterone following his five-round war against Mark Hunt at UFC Fight Night 33, December 7th in Brisbane, Australia. As a result, the UFC — which regulated the event and was responsible for fighter drug-testing — has suspended Silva for nine months retroactive to the date of the fight, and stripped him of his $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus. The bout with Hunt will be changed to a no-contest on Bigfoot’s professional record, although Hunt still gets to keep his draw, and will receive the $50k that would have gone to Silva.

According to a statement released by a UFC rep, “Silva is on a medically approved regimen of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), and had been in compliance with therapeutic guidelines on all pre-fight tests performed prior to the event. The results of his test on the day of the event indicated a level of testosterone outside of allowable limit. Silva has been informed that the elevated testosterone level is a violation of the UFC Fighter Conduct Policy and his Promotional Agreement with Zuffa.”

As our own George Shunick put it, “Someone please explain to me how a man who is 280 pounds of bone, sinew and muscle has a ‘legitimate’ prescription for TRT.” That’s a very good question. When Silva tested positive for horse-steroids back in 2008, he blamed the result on an over-the-counter testosterone booster called Novodex, which he was using to treat his gigantism, brought on by cysts on his pituitary gland. And once again, Silva is claiming that his latest failed test is not his fault:


(“Dammit, Jose! You told me this stuff was safe!” / Photo via Getty)

Sadly, one of the greatest heavyweight fights in UFC history will now have an asterisk next to it. Yesterday evening, MMAJunkie broke the news that Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva tested positive for elevated testosterone following his five-round war against Mark Hunt at UFC Fight Night 33, December 7th in Brisbane, Australia. As a result, the UFC — which regulated the event and was responsible for fighter drug-testing — has suspended Silva for nine months retroactive to the date of the fight, and stripped him of his $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus. The bout with Hunt will be changed to a no-contest on Bigfoot’s professional record, although Hunt still gets to keep his draw, and will receive the $50k that would have gone to Silva.

According to a statement released by a UFC rep, “Silva is on a medically approved regimen of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), and had been in compliance with therapeutic guidelines on all pre-fight tests performed prior to the event. The results of his test on the day of the event indicated a level of testosterone outside of allowable limit. Silva has been informed that the elevated testosterone level is a violation of the UFC Fighter Conduct Policy and his Promotional Agreement with Zuffa.”

As our own George Shunick put it, “Someone please explain to me how a man who is 280 pounds of bone, sinew and muscle has a ‘legitimate’ prescription for TRT.” That’s a very good question. When Silva tested positive for horse-steroids back in 2008, he blamed the result on an over-the-counter testosterone booster called Novodex, which he was using to treat his gigantism, brought on by cysts on his pituitary gland. And once again, Silva is claiming that his latest failed test is not his fault:

Clarification: Months before my fight I looked for the UFC doctor Marcio Tannure in Brazil so I could start the hormonal replacement “TRT” which was authorized and recognized by a professional. I started the treatment and 2 weeks before my fight I did all the exams required by the UFC. My testosterone level continued to be low so I was recommended by the doctor to increase the dosage. Unfortunately my level increased too much and caused me to suspend. I only did what was recommended by someone trained who understands about the subject therefore it was not my mistake. I’m cool because I know that the mistake was not made by me, I never tried doing anything wrong for my fight.

As MMAMania explains: “It should be noted that Tannure is the medical director of the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Commission’s (CABMMA) and, according to Brazilian mixed martial arts (MMA) reporter Guilherme Cruz, Ultimate Fighting Championship fighters always refer to him as a ‘UFC doctor.’ Indeed, he takes care of most of Brazil’s UFC fighters, and was also responsible for authorizing the TRT therapy for Vitor Belfort.” For what it’s worth, Silva also released some correspondence from his doctors indicating that his T-levels were low as of November 30th.

After news of Silva’s failed test broke, MMAJunkie’s Steven Marrocco called up Mark Hunt to get his reaction. “Shit, I need to get on some of this shit,” Hunt said. “Fuck, I don’t know how these guys are doing this shit. I should get some of that shit, too…I don’t know what to say, honestly. I don’t know what it is, but kudos to me for the bonus, eh?” Hunt then publicly blasted MMAJunkie for waking him up and not explaining that he was being interviewed. Classic Hunto.

When reached for comment, UFC president Dana White released a frowny-face on twitter. Silva is now the sixth UFC fighter to be busted for elevated testosterone in 2013, following Rousimar Palhares, Lavar Johnson, Brian Bowles, Ben Rothwell, and Robert Drysdale.

UPDATED: CagePotato’s MMA Steroid Bust Timeline, Now With Testosterone Busts


(Dammit, Chael. We can never stay mad at you. / Photo via Getty)

Since it was first published in July 2009, our MMA Steroid Busts: The Definitive Timeline feature has grown to become the Internet’s most complete history of fighter PED use — as well as the busted fighters’ resulting excuses. But with the recent rise of testosterone replacement therapy, things began to get complicated. Should the list include a fighter who got caught with a 20:1 T/E ratio, even if he didn’t test positive for a particular steroid? It’s become clear that testosterone abuse is the new Stanozolol and we’ll be talking about this issue for years to come, so to keep things nice and neat, we’ve decided to stick every failed drug test for elevated testosterone on page 2 of the timeline.

Separating the testosterone busts into their own group revealed this damning statistic: “Of the aforementioned fighters who tested positive for elevated testosterone after fights, 1 was successful in those fights, while 4 were unsuccessful.” It’s too early to draw any hard conclusions, but TRT abuse may turn out to be the most useless unfair advantage in all of MMA.

Check out the new testosterone busts page of the Steroid Bust Timeline right here, and please let us know if we’ve forgotten any.


(Dammit, Chael. We can never stay mad at you. / Photo via Getty)

Since it was first published in July 2009, our MMA Steroid Busts: The Definitive Timeline feature has grown to become the Internet’s most complete history of fighter PED use — as well as the busted fighters’ resulting excuses. But with the recent rise of testosterone replacement therapy, things began to get complicated. Should the list include a fighter who got caught with a 20:1 T/E ratio, even if he didn’t test positive for a particular steroid? It’s become clear that testosterone abuse is the new Stanozolol and we’ll be talking about this issue for years to come, so to keep things nice and neat, we’ve decided to stick every failed drug test for elevated testosterone on page 2 of the timeline.

Separating the testosterone busts into their own group revealed this damning statistic: “Of the aforementioned fighters who tested positive for elevated testosterone after fights, 1 was successful in those fights, while 4 were unsuccessful.” It’s too early to draw any hard conclusions, but TRT abuse may turn out to be the most useless unfair advantage in all of MMA.

Check out the new testosterone busts page of the Steroid Bust Timeline right here, and please let us know if we’ve forgotten any.

MMA Drug-Roundup: Drysdale Goes Unpunished, Belfort Goes on the Defensive, Browne Undergoes WADA


(Pictured: Robert Drysdale’s father, left, and Robert Drysdale’s grandfather, right.) 

Testosterone and MMA go hand-in-hand like whiskey and breakfast (except they don’t hold hands, of course, because that’s what queers do). Unfortunately for many of today’s aging MMA stars, naturally produced testosterone dries up faster than a crick in a west Texas drought once they turn 30, forcing many of these dinosaurs to resort to the synthetic stuff in order to compete with the whipper-snappers who are trying to shamelessly take their jobs. And so, TRT was born.

While fighters like Vitor Belfort have utilized TRT to (literally) inject new life into their MMA careers, fighters like Robert Drysdale have damn near killed theirs before they even got started by abusing the stuff to a comical degree. Fortunately for Drysdale, it looks like the UFC will be letting him off easy for essentially pissing pure HGH last week and being subsequently pulled from UFC 167. A UFC rep recently spoke with MMAJunkie about Drysdale’s future in the organization following his botched drug test. In short, it’s still a go!

Obviously, Robert needs to establish that he is medically fit to participate and apply for the appropriate licensure,” the rep wrote in a prepared statement. “Assuming he is able to do this, he will fight for the organization at some point in the future.”

NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer said commissioners for the regulatory body will decide whether to place Drysdale on a future agenda to address the failed test. As of today, the commission also hasn’t levied any disciplinary action.

While we can’t imagine that this is the first impression the BJJ legend was hoping to make with the UFC, at least we will be able to see whether or not he was worth all the trouble he has given them so far. Hooray?

Speaking of TRT, Belfort recently attempted to clarify his previous statements that he would “stop doing TRT” if a title shot was on the line with FOX Sports. Those comments are after the jump.


(Pictured: Robert Drysdale’s father, left, and Robert Drysdale’s great grandfather, right.) 

Testosterone and MMA go hand-in-hand like whiskey and breakfast (except they don’t hold hands, of course, because that’s what queers do). Unfortunately for many of today’s aging MMA stars, naturally produced testosterone dries up faster than a crick in a west Texas drought once they turn 30, forcing many of these dinosaurs to resort to the synthetic stuff in order to compete with the whipper-snappers who are trying to shamelessly take their jobs. And so, the TRT TUE was born.

While fighters like Vitor Belfort have utilized TRT to (literally) inject new life into their MMA careers, fighters like Robert Drysdale have damn near killed theirs before they even got started by abusing the stuff to a comical degree. Fortunately for Drysdale, it looks like the UFC will be letting him off easy for essentially pissing pure HGH last week and being subsequently pulled from UFC 167. A UFC rep recently spoke with MMAJunkie about Drysdale’s future in the organization following his botched drug test. In short, it’s still a go!

Obviously, Robert needs to establish that he is medically fit to participate and apply for the appropriate licensure,” the rep wrote in a prepared statement. “Assuming he is able to do this, he will fight for the organization at some point in the future.”

NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer said commissioners for the regulatory body will decide whether to place Drysdale on a future agenda to address the failed test. As of today, the commission also hasn’t levied any disciplinary action.

While we can’t imagine that this is the first impression the BJJ legend was hoping to make with the UFC, at least we will be able to see whether or not he was worth all the trouble he has given them so far. Hooray?

Speaking of TRT, Belfort recently attempted to clarify his previous statements that he would “stop doing TRT” if a title shot was on the line with FOX Sports:

I was just trying to say how committed I am to achieving something. Why would I want to do something that’s going to hurt me? Just to make people feel good? Haters are always going to be there. People are always going to talk about you because you are somebody. Like I’ve said, this [TRT] can’t teach people to knock people out with kicks and perform.

 I was just kind of showing how motivated I am. Of course, they won’t allow that to happen. It’s unhealthy for me. It would be unfair. If you’re doing something right, everything goes good.

At this point, I can’t even muster the energy to comment on Belfort’s continuous flip-flopping. He is to TRT what Oprah is to dieting, and being that anyone who questions a former steroid user’s insistence or need to be on TRT is immediately dubbed a “hater” by fighters and fans alike, I’ll just leave this most recent blurb up to you Taters for analysis.

But amidst all the chicanery regarding TRT in MMA, it’s good to know that there are still guys like Travis Browne, who recently agreed to join UFC 168 opponent Josh Barnett (we know, we know) in UFC-sponsored, WADA-certified drug testing ahead of the December 28th event. Said “Hapa”:

I think it’s a great idea, and I’m a big supporter of it. I think our sport and the commission taking actions like this is putting us ahead of the game compared to other sports. We’re not putting out a fire. We’re attacking the problem before it becomes an epidemic.

Oh, Travis, you beautiful, ignorant slut. Haven’t you heard? It already *is* an epidemic.

J. Jones