(Yes, this is a real shirt, and not a cut-scene from Leisure Suit Larry.)
Today’s jumping spinning hook-kick knockout video raised a couple of uncomfortable questions. For instance: Isn’t XFS the same promotion that was plagued by a record-padding scandal earlier this year? And why was one of the cage posts advertising something called Tomato Can MMA?
The answers to both questions are reflected in the atrocious t-shirt you see above. As a tongue-in-cheek reference to its notorious use of jobbers and palookas, the Xplode Fight Series has launched a charity drive called “Tomato Can MMA,” in which it will (allegedly) donate a can of food to a food bank or homeless shelter for every one of its “Melon” t-shirts that are purchased. (Just $19.99 plus $4.95 shipping!) As you read these words, there’s a homeless guy in Escondido farting out two cans’ worth of sauerkraut, all thanks to the philanthropic souls at XFS.
This is the worst MMA-related t-shirt in history, hands down. The phrase on the shirt — “Don’t let my melons get in the way of your CANS!™” — is cringe-worthy, and basically incoherent when you think about it. (Although I do like the ironic usage of the trademark symbol, as if anybody would steal any of this.) Obviously, the message is printed in comic sans, beloved font of dull children and sociopaths.
As for the art…man, it’s not good. You’ve got a cage filled with a pyramid of tomato cans, a googly-eyed fighter walking up some stairs who appears to have been pre-Nelmarked, and a dozen other crudely-drawn white people. Only one poor soul has paid the extra charge for cageside seating, but boy oh boy, is he getting his money’s worth, as evidenced by the distance of his tongue from his mouth.
Until today, the title of Worst MMA T-Shirt Ever Created was proudly held by Alpha Male Shit’s “PC” tee. But I could actually picture a handful of morons wearing that one. Nobody in their right mind is paying $25 to rock “Melons.” Nobody.
If there is a worse MMA-related t-shirt actually available for purchase, please inform us in the comments section or shoot us a link on twitter @cagepotatomma.
