(For just $14.95, you can be the biggest douchebag at the barbecue. / Props: The UFC store via Jonathan Snowden)
Well that’s just the most worthless piece of junk I’ve ever seen. And yes, you need to read the product description:
Celebrate your fandom by turning your BBQ into a real UFC fiesta with this hotdog brander! It’ll definitely be a real party the moment you lay some UFC graphics* on your favorite BBQ foods of all time! Everyone already knows you’re on fire this season**, but when they see you searing your UFC love into your hotdogs*** they’ll know better than to mess with your boys in the octagon****!
– Allow brander to cool before touching
– Cast-iron
– Instructions included*****
– Suitable for use on hotdogs, sausage or bratwurst******
– Officially licensed
* “lay some UFC graphics”…Jesus Christ, who writes this crap? Was it you, Elliot?
** Oh my God.
*** Oh my God.
**** Oh my fucking God.
***** It’s a piece of metal, for fuck’s sake.
****** What the hell does the UFC have against knackwurst, anyway?