(Hey amigo, don’t forget to bag the stool. I’ll be making salad as a side tonight.)
One minute it’s an emergency NSAC meeting, and now this. Don’t worry folks, the charges facing former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will not affect his December 30th battle with Alistair Overeem at UFC 141, but Lesnar is now a fugitive in a country where sodomy is legal nonetheless. The charges aimed at Brock stem from a recent hunting trip he took to Alberta; I’ll let CJCYFM.com explain:
A recent hunting trip to Alberta has landed former WWE and Ultimate Fighting Champion Brock Lesnar in some trouble.
Fish and Wildlife officers confirmed the international celebrity has been charged with three counts in contravention to the Alberta Fish and Wildlife Act. The charges came before Medicine Hat Provincial Court Thursday morning and include improper affixation of tags, spoilage of skin and edible flesh and possession of a controlled animal.
Neither Lesnar, nor his co-accused Chad Stryker, appeared in person in court. Their matter has been put over until January 19th.
Phew. At first, the charges don’t sound that bad. That is, until you consider the fact that the controlled animal in question was a Garthok. And did you say Chad Stryker…with a y? Does Brock only befriend people with 1980′s action hero names like his own?
We here at CP have yet to learn the seriousness of these charges, but if Quinton Jackson can go on a literal rampage across Southern California and come away clean, then it’s hard to imagine Lesnar can be in any real trouble here. In fact, according to our Canadian law expert, the worst punishment Lesnar could face would be forced participation in the annual Burn’s Day supper, as is tradition.
But let’s get to the real story here; this is clearly a shallow attempt by our northerly neighbors to spoil our New Years festivities, likely because they blame us for GSP’s injury. And like it’s our fault that he trusts our surgeons more. All I’m saying is, the Baldwin brothers better watch their backs.
-Danga