Tag: weird MMA ads

Today in WTF?!!: Chris Weidman, Forrest Griffin Pimp Jewelry Stores and DUI Defense in Hilariously Awkward Commercials


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.

“The Jewelry Gallery of Oyster Bay” – Chris Weidman

Also featuring UFC lightweight, TUF 15 alum and fellow Long Islander Al Iaquinta, we must give the creative minds behind a jewelry store in Nassau County, NY credit for having the balls to commit to this atrocious ad, and more specifically, the play on words between an MMA “ring” (not what it’s called) and a wedding “ring.” Seriously, I would be applauding them if I hadn’t just severed both my hands in the feat that they may one day write something so hamfisted.

Did the people who created this ad even understand that UFC fighters compete in an octagon? Or that choosing an (albeit local) MMA fighter as the spokesperson for a jewelry store in a town where the average income is nearly $100,000 might not make a whole lot of sense? Where is the turnover between Affliction-wearing, Long Island dude-bro MMA fans and high-end jewelry clientele, exactly? So many questions.

One thing’s for sure: Like Randy Couture and Ronda Rousey before him, Chris Weidman is an MMA star destined for Hollywood. See for yourself:


GAHHHHACTING!!!!

And now, buckle up for this one…

“Top Gun DUI Defense Attorney Myles L. Berman” – Forrest Griffin

If the purpose of Griffin’s appearance in this ad was to serve as an intimidating presence for the serious issue that is weaseling your way out of a drunk-driving offense, then it failed miserably. Not only does Griffin come off as a far more likeable and trustworthy guy than Berman, but he also loses all of his badass credibility the moment he tips his trucker hat like a cowboy cordially greeting a woman of the town proper.

And besides, if this Berman fellow really wanted to scare us into seeking his services, he more than accomplished that with his dead-eyed stare and “I’m totally not a robot disguised in a human skin suit” mannerisms. I mean, just look at those things:

Take it away, Dr. Loomis…

Final Tallies
Creativity: Weidman’s ad, sadly
Acting: Griffin all day
Intensity: NEED I SHOW YOU BERMAN’S EYES AGAIN?!

Winner: Griffin’s DUI ad by a hair. It may never reach the heights of Wanderlei Silva and Mark Coleman’s epic Schick ad, but it’s something.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Gangnam Style. Lotion. Pineapples. Spray Tans. I Don’t Even Know.

(Props to FightersOnly for the find.) 

In the filmmaking/advertising business, the most common phrase you will hear is “Hey kid, if you want to make it anywhere you WILL get in this van.” But the second most common thing you will hear is to “show, not tell” — which oddly enough, normally precedes the first saying. So it is perhaps a testament to the people working in the Brazilian sector of Honda’s marketing department that they were able to convey so much in their new 45 second ad despite the fact that I couldn’t understand a goddamned word that was being said.

Seriously, this video has everything. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira rubbing lotion on his gloves. NO I DON’T KNOW WHY. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira eating a pineapple and dancing Gangnam style, then getting a spray tan. AGAIN, NO IDEA. Yet at the end of the day, the message is clear: HONDA GOOD. HONDA GET WOMAN. And being that it’s Brazilian, the ad also makes sure to squeeze in a few seconds of said women engaging in a pose-off whilst flames shoot out of some giant mechanical ring in the background. Did I not mention that this video has everything?

After the jump: A completely unrelated video that proves the superiority of Brazilian television once and for all. Again, it’s probably better if you just go in blind for this one.


(Props to FightersOnly for the find.) 

In the filmmaking/advertising business, the most common phrase you will hear is “Hey kid, if you want to make it anywhere you WILL get in this van.” But the second most common thing you will hear is to “show, not tell” — which oddly enough, normally precedes the first saying. So it is perhaps a testament to the people working in the Brazilian sector of Honda’s marketing department that they were able to convey so much in their new 45 second ad despite the fact that I couldn’t understand a goddamned word that was being said.

Seriously, this video has everything. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira rubbing lotion on his gloves. NO I DON’T KNOW WHY. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira eating a pineapple and dancing Gangnam style, then getting a spray tan. AGAIN, NO IDEA. Yet at the end of the day, the message is clear: HONDA GOOD. HONDA GET WOMAN. And being that it’s Brazilian, the ad also makes sure to squeeze in a few seconds of said women engaging in a pose-off whilst flames shoot out of some giant mechanical ring in the background. Did I not mention that this video has everything?

After the jump: A completely unrelated video that proves the superiority of Brazilian television once and for all. Again, it’s probably better if you just go in blind for this one.

Let’s see you top that shit, Betty White.

–J. Jones

More Weird MMA-Related Craigslist Ads

 

It’s been tough to top our wildly popular and extensive original compilation of the 25 weirdest MMA-related ads on Craigslist, so instead we’re going to regularly take one for the team and extensively comb through the cesspool of personals on the ad site and put together smaller galleries. Friendly advice. Don’t click on ads with photos.

Check out some of the weirdest ones we found today, after the jump.

 

It’s been tough to top our wildly popular and extensive original compilation of the 25 weirdest MMA-related ads on Craigslist, so instead we’re going to regularly take one for the team and extensively comb through the cesspool of personals on the ad site and put together smaller galleries. Friendly advice. Don’t click on ads with photos.

Check out some of the weirdest ones we found today:

If you’re looking to train on a course made from just shit around, you’re in luck. This guy has what you need. He has a decent amount of training in kicking and blocking, you know, the martial art.

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Typically when a guy says he’s a fighter, he isn’t. So when a dude like this says he’s a UFC fighter, it probably means he has vinyl UFC gloves he bought at Target and a TapouT t-shirt he wears out to the bars.

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I’m not even going to say anything about this guy since it’s obvious he knows what he’s doing. I mean, Doc Marten boots AND spandex = badass fighter. The only question I have is, what does he mean by “maybe more?”

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Worried about protecting his image? Sounds like a Jackson’s fighter.

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A football player AND a UFC fighter you say? Is this Matt Mitrione? Besides the fake claim that he’s a UFC fighter, the ad wouldn’t be that odd if it wasn’t posted in the “men looking for trannies” section

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“You can come over and watch the fights, but I want it in wrtiting that I can do whatever I want to you beforehand.” Nothing creepy about that, is there?

Send us any weird CL ads you “stumble upon” at [email protected]