(Two legendary warriors, each carrying two malfunctioning testicles. / Photo via MMAJunkie)
Our original intention for tonight was to liveblog only the fights you care about. Then we looked at the lineup and quickly realized that unless you live in Brazil or are in some way related to one of the fighters, UFC Fight Night 32‘s main event of Vitor Belfort vs. Dan Henderson is the only bout on the card that’s halfway interesting. And even then, we’re talking about a meaningless light-heavyweight exhibition between two guys who are allowed to use performance-enhancing drugs.
If the UFC is going to put such little effort into a fight card, then we’re going to put an equal amount of effort into covering it. After the jump, Elias Cepeda will be jotting down quick results from the event, and then he’ll give Belfort vs. Henderson the full liveblog treatment whenever it begins. (The main card broadcast starts at 8 p.m. ET on FOX Sports 1, by the way.)
Let us know if you’re here by typing some gibberish into the comments section. Fanks, God.
MAIN CARD RESULTS
Cezar Ferreira def. Daniel Sarafian via unanimous decision
Rafael Cavalcante wins via TKO over Igor Pokrajac at 1:18 of round 1
Brandon Thatch knocks out Paulo Thiago at 2:10 of round 1
Ryan LaFlare wins a unanimous decision over Santiago Ponzinibbio
Jeremy Stephens KO’s Rony Jason via head kick at :40 of round 1
PRELIMINARY CARD RESULTS
Sam Sicilia TKO’s Godofredo Pepey with punches at 1:42 of round 1
Omari Akhmedov KO’s Thiago Perpetuo at 3:31 of round 1
Thiago Tavares submits Justin Salas with a rear naked choke at 2:38 of round 1
Adriano Martins submits Daron Cruickshank at 2:49 of round 2 with a kimura shoulder lock
Dustin Ortiz def. Jose Maria at 3:19 of round 3 via TKO (punches)
Vitor Belfort vs. Dan Henderson
We’re live with the fight you haven’t been asking for since 2006 – Vitor Belfort vs. Dan Henderson II. Vitor comes out to the Octagon and his hideous hair cut keeps getting better.
Round 1:
Both men moving laterally, stalking one another without a single strike feinted or thrown for the first minute before Belfort lands with a left uppercut punch to the jaw, dropping Henderson to the mat. Henderson appears to recover off of his back and gets back to his feet.
Belfort does not let up for a moment and connects with a left head kick, dropping Hendo again and finishing the fight!
No need for rounds two through five, people. Belfort wins his third straight fight and avenges his 2006 decision loss to Henderson.
Thanks for joining us for this abbreviated Liveblog. Fun while it lasted, ‘taters.
-Elias