If You Don’t Mind, ‘Mayhem’ Miller Has Some Opinions About Nick Diaz He’d Like to Shout at You

(You taking notes, Tapout? Now *that’s* how you make an MMA T-shirt. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)
At this point, it would basically constitute an act of grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence if Strikeforce fails to put Jason “Mayhem…

(You taking notes, Tapout? Now *that’s* how you make an MMA T-shirt. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)

At this point, it would basically constitute an act of grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence if Strikeforce fails to put Jason “Mayhem” Miller in the cage with Nick Diaz this October. When two of your most popular and similarly-sized fighters have a real life beef that comes preloaded with hype from a giant, in-ring brawl your company already aired on national television, it doesn’t exactly take P.T. Fuckin’ Barnum to figure out what to do. Unfortunately, since grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence is what Strikeforce does best these days, this fight will probably never happen.

And you know who’s going to be really pissed about that? I mean, besides us? Mayhem Miller, that’s who. As evidenced by the above video with Ariel Helwani the very topic of Diaz makes Miller totally incapable of using his “inside voice.”

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‘Strikeforce: Houston’ Aftermath, Part II: Brazil Puts Rest of World on Notice

(King Mo was skeptical about looking into the strange man’s pinhole projector, but eventually his curiosity about seeing a total eclipse of the sun got the better of him. PicProps: Strikeforce)
Aside from the hapless Jorge Gurgel – who has …


(King Mo was skeptical about looking into the strange man’s pinhole projector, but eventually his curiosity about seeing a total eclipse of the sun got the better of him. PicProps: Strikeforce)

Aside from the hapless Jorge Gurgel – who has lived in the States so long his nationality could most accurately be listed as “Ohioan,” anyway – Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Houston card couldn’t have gone much better for the promotion’s Brazilian contingent. From Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante stopping Muhammed Lawal to claim the light heavyweight title in the main event to  Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza winning the 185-pound strap after a fight with Tim Kennedy that wasn’t really as close as a lot of people are trying to allege, Brazil pretty much owned everybody’s asses last night.  Again.

In unrelated news, Bobby Lashley lost to some guy whose sideburns made him look like he should be playing trombone in a third-wave ska band. All of our deepest fears and darkest suspicions about the former pro-wrestler’s heart and MMA skills were confirmed. Goddamn it felt good.

Somewhere, whatever notes Scott Coker had scribbled on the back of a Motel 6 brochure about the future of his company probably got crumpled up and tossed in a trash can.

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‘Strikeforce: Houston’ Aftermath: Pretty Much Everyone Does the Worst Possible Job During Gurgel vs. Noons

(VidProps: YouTube/KarelMMArts)
Even 12 hours later, it’s difficult to fully grasp the ways in which Jorge Gurgel’s fight with KJ Noons turned into a terrible abortion at Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Houston show. Suffice it to say…

(VidProps: YouTube/KarelMMArts)

Even 12 hours later, it’s difficult to fully grasp the ways in which Jorge Gurgel’s fight with KJ Noons turned into a terrible abortion at Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Houston show. Suffice it to say, a lot of things went horribly wrong and nearly everyone involved failed miserably to do their jobs.

As he almost always does, Gurgel came into the fight with the worst possible game plan, essentially guaranteeing defeat before the bout even started. Meanwhile, Noons crammed not one, but two blatantly illegal strikes into just over five minutes of fighting. For his part, referee Kerry Hatley seemed not to notice either of the infractions, then totally bungled one of the more obvious stoppage situations you’ll ever encounter in MMA. All the while the Strikeforce broadcast team reconfirmed for viewers its complete inability to adjust on the fly when even the slightest controversy rears its head.

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Bigfoot Silva is Cool with Whoever Strikeforce Wants Him to Lose to in His Next Fight

(It was 5:15 and still no sign of the cable guy, but Antonio Silva wasn’t about to call that bitch at Comcast customer service again. PicProps: Strikeforce)
So the Strikeforce heavyweight division has come to this: With Fab Werdum injured and Fedor Eme…


(It was 5:15 and still no sign of the cable guy, but Antonio Silva wasn’t about to call that bitch at Comcast customer service again. PicProps: Strikeforce)

So the Strikeforce heavyweight division has come to this: With Fab Werdum injured and Fedor Emelianenko reportedly warming up to the idea of re-upping with the company following his next bout, Scott Coker and Co. appear intent on feeding Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva to either Fedor or champ Alistair Overeem in the coming months. To what end? Unclear, but with Silva the only legitimate (and healthy) 265-pound contender on the roster who hasn’t suffered a seemingly career defining loss lately, maybe it’s the only thing they can do.

At best, a fight pitting Bigfoot against either Overeem or Emelianenko is a place-holder. Just something to do until the promotion can suffer through another round of prickly negotiations with M-1 Global — rumor is Fedor won’t sign a goddamned thing until Strikeforce ponies up the dough for that racecar bed he’s had his eye on – and takes another crack at getting its two best heavies in the cage with each other.  At worst, the Brazilian gigantor actually wins. Then what are you going to do? A Werdum vs. Silva rematch to determine who is The Greatest Fighter of All Time? Don’t think so.

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Video Evidence: Dan Quinn vs. Aaron Brink

(We’ll always have South Bend. VidProps: YouTube/Marijuana Muscle)
Well, for once it turned out Dan Quinn wasn’t just bullshitting us. The World’s Most Craziest Man really did fight UFC vet and former reality TV star Aaron Brink in some k…


(We’ll always have South Bend. VidProps:
YouTube/Marijuana Muscle)

Well, for once it turned out Dan Quinn wasn’t just bullshitting us. The World’s Most Craziest Man really did fight UFC vet and former reality TV star Aaron Brink in some kind of bizarre-o “striking only” bout last night. Not to ruin it for you, but the results are sadly predictable for anyone who knows,  in general, what a bad idea it is to sanction a fight featuring A) A crazy man or B) A guy who just got out of jail. In this case, Dan Quinn falls into both categories. (Ed. Note: Somewhere in the bowels of the San Diego lock-up, I hope you’re paying attention, War Machine. This is your future.)

Perhaps the California State Athletic Commission has some kind of minimum required amount of mental illness that must be present in the cage at all times, because some genius opted to let our man Sensei Cecil referee this bad boy. Homey plays it pretty straight during the first round, but then breaks out his patented karate chop to begin round two.  If you don’t want  further spoilers, don’t follow the jump until after you’ve watched the “fight.”

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Noons Says Media Took UFC Comments Out of Context, Promises His Hair is About to Get ‘Pretty Crazy, Dude’

(For some reason, Strikeforce opted to hold this week’s prefight media events at The Black Lodge. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)
I’m going to tread lightly here, because I don’t want KJ Noons’ dad to physically attack me, but some…


(For some reason, Strikeforce opted to hold this week’s prefight media events at The Black Lodge. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)

I’m going to tread lightly here, because I don’t want KJ Noons’ dad to physically attack me, but sometimes it just seems like it would be better, maybe, if Karl Jr. didn’t talk. At least not in public. Sure, Noons is a decent fighter, but watching him stumble through six minutes, 35 seconds worth of half-finished sentences, "you knows" and grammar that is probably best described as “Tito-esque” in the above video makes me wonder if a better public relations strategy for him wouldn’t be to just stand there and smile and occasionally flip his lustrous hair out of his eyes.

Noons in fact does spend the first minute of his interview with Ariel Helwani talking about his hair. He’s growing it out, see, just for the experience and just in case he goes bald later in life. You never can be too careful. “It’s pretty crazy, dude,” he says about his plans to see how long he can get it. It takes until the 5:38 mark in this vid for Noons to get to the heart of anything interesting, like the recent comments he made about the UFC being “boring as hell.” When the subject does come up, Noons falls back one of the more tried-and-true defenses for morons who say shit they later regret: It was the media’s fault.

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