It’s hard to imagine that bits and pieces can still impress you so much once you’ve seen the whole thing, but that is clearly the case for Ronda Rousey. The Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight champ recently stripped down to this little number for the cover of women’s fitness magazine Oxygen, and according to the tweet she sent out that accompanied it, her photos were apparently “deemed too sexy” for a magazine whose covers often look like this:
Say what you want about Rousey being a one-trick pony in the ring, but she is clearly coming into her own as a model. I mean, just look at her face here. It’s seductive, yet controlled, inviting yet distanced, like a stripper who is trying to act interested as you complain to her about those damned TPS reports. This woman is clearly well-rounded in the art of looking hot.
All we’re saying is if this fighting thing doesn’t ever take off for Ms. Rousey, she has a solid career to fall back on.
It’s hard to imagine that bits and pieces can still impress you so much once you’ve seen the whole thing, but that is clearly the case for Ronda Rousey. The Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight champ recently stripped down to this little number for the cover of women’s fitness magazine Oxygen, and according to the tweet she sent out that accompanied it, her photos were apparently “deemed too sexy” for a magazine whose covers often look like this:
Say what you want about Rousey being a one-trick pony in the ring, but she is clearly coming into her own as a model. I mean, just look at her face here. It’s seductive, yet controlled, inviting yet distanced, like a stripper who is trying to act interested as you complain to her about those damned TPS reports. This woman is clearly well-rounded in the art of looking hot.
All we’re saying is if this fighting thing doesn’t ever take off for Ms. Rousey, she has a solid career to fall back on.
(I kept telling the bouncers that I was over 21; I even showed them my ID and told them that it was *my* afterparty that they were bouncing, yet this happens once again…)
After enduring the longest card free drought in nearly two years, the UFC returned to action last Saturday, delivering an event that was thoroughly satisfying from top-to-bottom, unless you happened to be in the small minority of people who wished ill upon either Michael Bisping or Jon Jones, that is. But as is the case with most UFC events, the evening was not without its share of ups and downs, so join us as we take take off our fanboy pants, pull our analrapist stockings over our heads, and take a look back at the event that was…
The Good:
Seth Baczynski’s Second Tour of Duty: One of the more improbable, if not unknown, comeback stories currently circulating the MMA world, the story of “The Polish Pistola’s” second octagon run has seen him score submission victories over TUF 13 alum Clay Harvison, TUF 7 alum Matt Brown, and earn a split decision victory over Lance Benoist. His beautiful knockout of Simeon Thoreson this past weekend should have easily earned him the KOTN award, but we imagine that Baczynski will be happy enough knowing that he has more than earned a shot at some stiffer competition — and considering his finishing rate, a main card spot — in the near future.
Vinny Magalhaes‘ Second Tour of Duty: While we’re on the subject of TUF alums kicking major ass their second time around, we can’t overlook TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes, who clearly packed some of his M-1 swagger for his return to the big show (figuratively speaking, of course). Granted, it makes your job a hell of a lot easier when your opponent decides to play directly into your strengths, but for now, we’ll just congratulate Vinny on a sweet finish and a successful return.
(I kept telling the bouncers that I was over 21; I even showed them my ID and told them that it was *my* afterparty that they were bouncing, yet this happens once again…)
After enduring the longest card free drought in nearly two years, the UFC returned to action last Saturday, delivering an event that was thoroughly satisfying from top-to-bottom, unless you happened to be in the small minority of people who wished ill upon either Michael Bisping or Jon Jones, that is. But as is the case with most UFC events, the evening was not without its share of ups and downs, so join us as we take take off our fanboy pants, pull our analrapist stockings over our heads, and take a look back at the event that was…
The Good:
Seth Baczynski’s Second Tour of Duty: One of the more improbable, if not unknown, comeback stories currently circulating the MMA world, the story of “The Polish Pistola’s” second octagon run has seen him score submission victories over TUF 13 alum Clay Harvison, TUF 7 alum Matt Brown, and earn a split decision victory over Lance Benoist. His beautiful knockout of Simeon Thoreson this past weekend should have easily earned him the KOTN award, but we imagine that Baczynski will be happy enough knowing that he has more than earned a shot at some stiffer competition — and considering his finishing rate, a main card spot — in the near future.
Vinny Magalhaes‘ Second Tour of Duty: While we’re on the subject of TUF alums kicking major ass their second time around, we can’t overlook TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes, who clearly packed some of his M-1 swagger for his return to the big show (figuratively speaking, of course). Granted, it makes your job a hell of a lot easier when your opponent decides to play directly into your strengths, but for now, we’ll just congratulate Vinny on a sweet finish and a successful return.
Marcus Brimage – Hype Spoiler: With back-to-back victories over highly-touted prospects Maximo Blanco and Jimy Hettes, it’s safe to say that the TUF 14 alum has not only launched up the featherweight ranks, but is easily the most successful member to come out of the season despite only making it to the quarterfinals of the show (sorry, Diego). If Brimage can learn to control his pace a little better over the course of three rounds, we could be looking at a future contender.
The Bloodbath That was T.J Grant vs. Evan Dunham: Perhaps the only thing more surprising in this fight, other than the incredible improvement in Grant’s striking game, were the chins these two displayed while beating the ever-loving dog shit out of each other for three straight rounds. Dunham, who is no stranger to nasty cuts, had his forehead split so wide open in the second round that Grant could see his thoughts for the rest of the fight and prepare accordingly. Although Dunham has fallen on hard times as of late when it comes to getting the victory, the $65,000 bonus he walked away with should ease some of the pain, especially if he decides to stuff it directly into his open wound, which ironically resembles an empty wallet as viewed from above.
The First Flyweight Title Fight: Here’s how Dana White summed up Benavidez/Johnson:
If you didn’t like that flyweight fight, please, I’m begging you, don’t ever buy another UFC pay-per-view again…You’re a moron, you don’t like fighting and you don’t appreciate great talent or heart if you didn’t like that flyweight fight.
Now, although we wouldn’t put it as bluntly as DW (go figure), we’d have to agree with him on a fundamental level here. No, there weren’t as many grueling exchanges, insane submission attempts, or high-flying maneuvers as we’d hoped for in the first ever flyweight title fight, but it was an enjoyable five round affair nonetheless. The speed of “Mighty Mouse,” which has been described as “like pixie sticks on crack” by at least one person, led him to a decisive decision victory over a man who was considered “the uncrowned king of the flyweight division.” But judging by the comments section of CP and various other MMA sites, the questions that most people have about the flyweight division appear the same as before:
1. Can such tiny fists actually finish fights?
2. Will the lack of depth in the division lead to the recycling of contenders down the line?
Bipsing and Jones Silence Opponents/Haters: Aside from a rocky moment in the first round for both gentlemen, Michael Bisping and Jon Jones looked pretty flawless last weekend, impressively out grappling Brian Stann and Vitor Belfort, respectively. Bisping’s case for the next middleweight title shot is as good as anyone’s at this point, we guess, so if he thinks he can jab-and-jog Anderson Silva into a living death, we say why not let him try? As for Jones, well, there isn’t much to say really. He dominated another former champ and made it look relatively easy. Any questions in regards to his chin or ability to fight out of a bad situation have likely been squashed and hey, at least we got to see him at least tested this time.
Click the “next” tab to see things get real ugly in a hurry.
(For the last time, I don’t know where any WMD’s are, and would appreciate if you stopped asking me questions taken from Chael’s Twitter account.)
For those of you who still think the life of a UFC champion is little more than punching dudes and collecting a paycheck, it might sadden you to see this behind-the-scenes video of Jon Jones‘ day at ESPN studios, which contained no less than a hundred and fifteen interviews over the course of a few hours. Seriously, Jones spent more time answering questions under a heat lamp than a person of interest, who he is ironically beginning to look like with that beard.
All kidding aside, the pure number of interviews Jones has to deal with in a day is probably a facet of his personality that many people don’t consider when lobbing their hate at him. When you’re trying not to look stupid hour after hour — and in front of millions of people nonetheless — you will eventually jumble your words, your thoughts, and have said words and thoughts misinterpreted by the strangers who are interviewing you left and right. It’s not exactly an easy process to get used to, especially when you lack the freakish confidence of a Chael Sonnen, a Floyd Mayweather, or a Deion Sanders, and you can see that Bones still gets a little nervous when trying to take it all in. Hence why he could not correctly answer which NFL-playing brother of his had which birthday, or what bone connects your shoulder to your elbow (which honestly would have stumped 99% of American audiences if Jay Leno was the one asking the question.)
We’re not saying that Jones should be completely forgiven for his repeatedly poor choicesof words, we’re just saying that, given enough time spent stepping on eggshells and answering the same mind-numbing questions over and over, most of us would probably comes off as unlikable too.
Video after the jump.
(For the last time, I don’t know where any WMD’s are, and would appreciate if you stopped asking me questions taken from Chael’s Twitter account.)
For those of you who still think the life of a UFC champion is little more than punching dudes and collecting a paycheck, it might sadden you to see this behind-the-scenes video of Jon Jones‘ day at ESPN studios, which contained no less than a hundred and fifteen interviews over the course of a few hours. Seriously, Jones spent more time answering questions under a heat lamp than a person of interest, who he is ironically beginning to look like with that beard.
All kidding aside, the pure number of interviews Jones has to deal with in a day is probably a facet of his personality that many people don’t consider when lobbing their hate at him. When you’re trying not to look stupid hour after hour — and in front of millions of people nonetheless — you will eventually jumble your words, your thoughts, and have said words and thoughts misinterpreted by the strangers who are interviewing you left and right. It’s not exactly an easy process to get used to, especially when you lack the freakish confidence of a Chael Sonnen, a Floyd Mayweather, or a Deion Sanders, and you can see that Bones still gets a little nervous when trying to take it all in. Hence why he could not correctly answer which NFL-playing brother of his had which birthday, or what bone connects your shoulder to your elbow (which honestly would have stumped 99% of American audiences if Jay Leno was the one asking the question.)
We’re not saying that Jones should be completely forgiven for his repeatedly poor choicesof words, we’re just saying that, given enough time spent stepping on eggshells and answering the same mind-numbing questions over and over, most of us would probably comes off as unlikable too.
Video after the jump.
So what do you think, Potato Nation; does a look into an average day in the life of JBJ make you feel any less resentment for him? Or did the manufacturers at the industrial warehouse where you were constructed forget to implant you with an empathy chip?
One thing’s for sure, I never want to be so famous that I have a guy following me around 24/7 just to update my Twitter status.
From a writer’s standpoint, there are a couple ways to approach a fight video as clownshit crazy as the one you are about to witness. The first is to provide a play-by-play breakdown of the action in a noble (but ultimately futile) attempt to try and make sense of the lunacy you just witnessed. The other method involves coming to the realization that your words are indeed ultimately futile and that the fight video should simply be digested as is.
It’s safe to say that when this happens before the fight even begins, you must follow the latter method.
Full video after the jump. Trust us, you *need* to see this.
From a writer’s standpoint, there are a couple ways to approach a fight video as clownshit crazy as the one you are about to witness. The first is to provide a play-by-play breakdown of the action in a noble (but ultimately futile) attempt to try and make sense of the lunacy you just witnessed. The other method involves coming to the realization that your words are indeed ultimately futile and that the fight video should simply be digested as is.
It’s safe to say that when this happens before the fight even begins, you must follow the latter method.
Apparently this fight took place on October 29th, 2011, at an event named…you know what, it doesn’t matter. All you have to know is that Ken Shamrock apparently rage-fucked an illegitimate child into existence during his downward spiral into woman beating. A child that, lacking a fatherly presence to steer him in the right direction, took to cat strangling and misdemeanor arson to quell the ever-present anger boiling inside him before making the move to MMA.
He goes by Euraldi “The Albanian Assassin,” because fear does not have a last name. His victim, who apparently stumbled into the ring thinking it was a spinning class, went by Andy Grayby. That’s right, went.
When attempting to contact Euraldi, his likely butchered family, or the one friend all serial killers typically have, we came up with nothing. In fact, we could only secure an interview with a former doctor of his, who stated the following:
I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes… the devil’s eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply…evil.
To say the we like to have our fun at Michael Bisping’s expense would be like saying that Muhammad Ali liked to have his fun at Joe Frazier’s expense. Bisping is a polarizing figure in every sense of the word and one who is not likely to back down in the face of adversity. Therein lies his appeal. So if we could offer any advice to the Bisping haters out there, it would be to stifle said hatred when in “The Count’s” actual presence. Otherwise, you could quickly find yourself on the wrong end of a verbal (not to mention physical) beatdown in the near future.
Take this guy for instance:
As one can deduce from a basic ocular patdown — Skull t-shirt? Check. Dyed hair/soul patch/spray tan combo? Check. A faux gold chain draped over said skull t-shirt? Chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself, Cotton — this guy knows A LOT about MMA. Hence his decision to heckle Bisping from the crowd during his UFC 152 open workout.
It did not go well.
To say the we like to have our fun at Michael Bisping’s expense would be like saying that Muhammad Ali liked to have his fun at Joe Frazier’s expense. Bisping is a polarizing figure in every sense of the word and one who is not likely to back down in the face of adversity. Therein lies his appeal. So if we could offer any advice to the Bisping haters out there, it would be to stifle said hatred when in “The Count’s” actual presence. Otherwise, you could quickly find yourself on the wrong end of a verbal (not to mention physical) beatdown in the near future.
Take this guy for instance:
As one can deduce from a basic ocular patdown – Skull t-shirt? Check. Dyed hair/soul patch/spray tan combo? Check. A faux gold chain draped over said skull t-shirt? Chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself, Cotton – this guy knows A LOT about MMA. Hence his decision to heckle Bisping from the crowd during his UFC 152 open workout.
It did not go well.
“It takes more than two punches to win a belt,” the gentlemen we shall now refer to as “The Shituation” called out, clearly an acolyte of Freddie Roach.
“Oh yeah, cause you’d know. Where’s your belt, big boy?” Bisping responds, which is really the only response any fighter ever has to give a heckler with love handles.
And before Shituation can even begin to roll up his sleeves and reveal his wicked sweet tribal tats, Bisping hits him with the figurative one-two punch, which in this case is daring the guy to take a one-two punch from Bisping:
“Hey I can do a couple warmup rounds if you want to jump in. Let’s see how big your balls are, son.” Bisping challenges. The crowd appropriately gives the Brit his due credit with a collective “Awww snap!”
At this point, the heckler continues to pursue without actually stepping up and taking his medicine and is promptly escorted out of the building to the cheers of everyone else in attendance. On the Joe Rogan Scale of Heckler Annihilation, we give “The Count” and 8.5 out of 10. His performance would have been flawless had he decided against taking a final shot at The Shituation on his way out:
“You’re the tough guy, you got the Afflicition shirt on!” Bisping shouted before being wrangled back in by his boxing coach Jason Parillo. It’s a solid burn, one that is actually taken directly from the master’s playbook, but it loses some of its punch when you consider that Bisping is sponsored by the company he was just shitting on.
Bisping later claimed in an interview with Ariel Helwani that he only threw the man out because he was irritating Parillo, which, whatever. Bisping 1, Heckler 0.
And speaking of earning some fans, skip ahead to the 5 minute mark of the video to see Jon Jones jovially interacting with the pro-Belfort Brazilians in the crowd. He even goes in for the high five on one of them only to pull away at the last second. Cool as a cucumber, this guy is.
Waitaminute…Bones Jones and Michael Bisping both avoided yet another public relations nightmare and came across as likable dudes? On the same day?
