At what point in a fighter’s career is it considered cruel and unusual punishment to allow them to compete? Sure, Randy Couture fought until he was 47, and Dan Severn is still beating up any homeless person that accidentally stumbled into the cage for a pint of Guinness and a pat on the back, but those gents are simply the exceptions that prove the rule. Guys like Ken Shamrock, on the other hand, are doing nothing more than shortening their lifespan each time they step into the ring, and for what? An attempt to recapture some former glory, or a feeling of youth? We know it damn sure isn’t in the hopes of recapturing a title, but then again, a passion is a passion, and if an obviously past their prime athlete wants to continue fighting at the detriment of their own health, who are we to say otherwise? It’s up to the promoters to cut them loose, not the fighters, and as we’ve seen in the story of Scott Hall, sometimes it is these very promoters who seem unable to make that distinction.
We’re rambling, of course, about the reports that BJJ/coaching legend Renzo Gracie is preparing for a second run in the UFC. At age 45.
Now, we’re not here to bash a freakin’ Gracie of all people for wanting to give the UFC another go, but this just seems like a terrible idea in every sense of the word.
At what point in a fighter’s career is it considered cruel and unusual punishment to allow them to compete? Sure, Randy Couture fought until he was 47, and Dan Severn is still beating up any homeless person that accidentally stumbled into the cage for a pint of Guinness and a pat on the back, but those gents are simply the exceptions that prove the rule. Guys like Ken Shamrock, on the other hand, are doing nothing more than shortening their lifespan each time they step into the ring, and for what? An attempt to recapture some former glory, or a feeling of youth? We know it damn sure isn’t in the hopes of recapturing a title, but then again, a passion is a passion, and if an obviously past their prime athlete wants to continue fighting at the detriment of their own health, who are we to say otherwise? It’s up to the promoters to cut them loose, not the fighters, and as we’ve seen in the story of Scott Hall, sometimes it is these very promoters who seem unable to make that distinction.
We’re rambling, of course, about the reports that BJJ/coaching legend Renzo Gracie is preparing for a second run in the UFC. At age 45.
Now, we’re not here to bash a freakin’ Gracie of all people for wanting to give the UFC another go, but this just seems like a terrible idea in every sense of the word. For starters, Gracie has been inactive for over two years. Secondly, the last time he did step into the octagon, he made Matt Hughes look like Mirko Cro Cop circa 2005, getting picked apart on the feet until getting mercifully put out of his misery late in the third round. And the fact that he looked completely gassed en route to that TKO loss doesn’t bode well either. For Christ’s sake, Gracie’s last legit win came all the way back in December of 2006 when he scored a split decision over fellow IFL coach Carlos Newton.
But despite all of this, Gracie told MMAJunkie that he was “getting ready to fight again,” stating:
I have a six-fight contract with no predetermined time frame. I still have five fights to go, so I plan to jump back into it. I love this sport. The day that a promoter won’t book me to fight, even for free, that’s when I’ll quit.
Well, if that is truly Gracie’s stance on the matter, then we’d like to wish him the best of luck. But does he honestly expect to compete FIVE MORE TIMES in the sport’s highest promotion? That’s a freaking death sentence.
We can’t even believe we’re asking this, but who, if anyone, would you like to see Gracie face if he is actually called back to the UFC? Put us in the camp that wants to see the UFC resign Pat Militech and have these two square off once again, because why not at this point?
Hell, they could set up a whole senior’s league if they want. Just think about it: pay-per-views could start airing at 3 p.m., and the participants could fight for a year long membership to the Old Country Buffet. Kazushi Sakuraba could reignite and old rivalry, and we could finally be treated to a trilogy match between Tank Abbott and Scott Ferrozzo. Sounds like a plan, does it not?
You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.
But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.
So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.
Week 3
Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes.
(WORST. ROLE MODEL. EVER.)
You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.
But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.
So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.
Week 3
Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes. 1) NEVER utter a single spoken word to any cop/detective/anyone about your case. 2) Take your case to TRIAL! Every time. Don’t trust the crooked system and their plea “agreement.” It’s an agreement between the D.A. and the judge, not you and the ANYONE. DA: “Hey Judge, I got a real weak case on this guy… how about I give him a plea for no jail time, and then at sentencing you just nail his ass and throw him in jail?” Judge: “Sounds good to me. How’s dinner sound Friday night? I hear the new buffet at the Rio is excellent.” LMAO! Sad, but true as a motherfucker.
So anyway, I heard my boy @kendallgrovemma lost his last fight vs. Jay Silva… pisses me off! Keep your head up tall piece of shit! I love you, I’d rather lose a fight than be in this boring spot! Eat some SPAM and pussy for me! Back to jail… Man, some people really lose their fucking minds in this place. I hear random screams in the night, random pounding on doors and walls, yelling… it’s fucked up. Being locked in solitary is no joke, and I only have a year to deal with. Could you imagine these dudes spending 10-15 years this way? Then one day, BAM, you’re free! How the fuck are they supposed to make that adjustment? If they have no family or friends, how do they get back on their feet? Where would you start? I don’t understand it at all. Like, in court they had a lady like 45 years old who is a career thief. They read off like 48 convictions, 9 times to prison, etc. etc. They just gave her another 16 months. Obviously jail ain’t working! These people go in 16 months, come out a couple years, go in 2 years, and on and on.
In jail, they don’t try and rehabilitate you, and if it isn’t an effective punishment, which clearly to some it is not, they continue doing the same shit. They need to find a better solution. Now I’m reminded of another thing that pisses me off: JAIL WORKED FOR ME, I CHANGED MY PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR, why then put me back in for old ass shit, and ruin my progress!? Fucking bullshit! That judge was a fucking idiot with some kind of fucking God Complex. Makes me sick.
Alright, as I explained last episode, the commissary here is stupid. This means that I’m not gonna be able to reply to a lot of you who write to me. I’m only allowed to spend $15/week on snacks/envelopes/soap, so I can’t even get a hold of enough stamps to write my loved ones as often as I’d like. Another bullshit thing about this jail, how can they limit the amount of letters you write? Ridiculous. And of course, people aren’t allowed to send you stamps… WHY NOT?! I’m in a bad mood today. My fucking skin is all dry and I stink! Haven’t been able to purchase deodorant or lotion yet ’cause I spend everything on their 80¢ stamps and snacks. Also pissed there’s nowhere here to do pull-ups. In S.D. I could do ‘em off my bunk, won’t work here. I’m gonna be weak as shit when I get out of here, I remember how horrible I felt last time upon release… still can’t believe I fought Huerta 3½ months later. I’m either gangster as fuck, crazy, or just plain stupid! Maybe I just refuse to let this punk ass government keep me down? Fuck the system, fuck the judge, fuck the D.A. fuck attorneys who don’t care about their clients and fuck all of you who don’t agree!
I WILL GET BACK UP.
WEEK 4
Man! There’s this one crazy obnoxious lil’ black guy in here that yells and screams for hours at a time. Periodically, he’ll stop and say, “If you want me to stop all you gotta do is give me a soup!” LMAO! Dudes actually do it and that’s the biggest problem. Shit, sometimes the cops will give him food just so he’ll shut up. They are encouraging that shit, big time. Reminds me of a time my wife and I went to Sea World and bought a lil’ tray of fish to feed the seals. There were so many seals trying, hoping you’d throw it to them. Some of them developed tricks to gain your attention and ultimately get the fish. I remember one such seal that would raise his one flipper and wave it like a hand. Sometimes he would strike wacky poses. Somehow he figured out a way to get fed while the majority of them just barked at you and stared like puppies. Anyway, I just brought it up because he just walked by my room and started begging for snacks ’cause he’s seen that I had a commissary bag next to my bed. I told that mother fucker, “Hell no!” Fuck him, I don’t even mind when he yells and screams, I actually like listening to people in here go crazy. Weird right?
I’unno, I guess it’s just a sort of entertainment. Plus, there’s this old black guy in here, 60 or so, who I like, and this lil’ idiot loud guy always talks shit to him. One day that old guy was talking to someone about the fluoride in the water, chem trails in the sky, and all the other poisons we are suffering from at the hands of the government to 1. kill us 2. leave us infertile. So anyway, I called him over that day, and now we talk when we can. We are on the same page on a lot of stuff, plus he’s smart, old, and mellow. All the young guys talk about is their crimes, drugs, and dumb shit. FUCKKK! Just got mail and I am not eligible for house arrest. Fucking irritating. Got denied because of some stupid resisting arrest charge from 2002. 10 years ago! I haven’t “resisted arrest” since. Fuck. No shortcut to good food and pussy! Man, I can’t wait until this shit is over! The only change of pace would be if I became a worker. Not sure if I want to be a SLAVE though. What’s the benefit? I don’t know, need to investigate. If I was in the kitchen, obviously extra food. Any other assignment just means less sleep & less reading. As a worker, I’d prolly be able to find somewhere to do pull-ups though, and get to see/feel the sun… Hmmm. I dunno, we shall see.
Just asked a worker at lunch if they get any extra “good time.” He says they get a month extra! I’m gonna see if it’s true and if so, I’ll apply. I’ll go ahead and be a slave if it means getting out September instead of Oct., fuck it.
You know what drives me crazy in here? There’s no clock anywhere. In S.D. there was a clock out in the dayroom on the wall, you could peek out your window and see it. I never know what time it is, drives me crazy! I know we get fed show at 4AM, 10AM, and 4PM, and that’s it. All I’ve been doing since I’ve got here is read and sleep. I’d sleep 18 hours/day if I could. I just want release day to get here ASAP. I haven’t been exercising at all. 1. I feel like shit, depression wise. 2. I’m letting some nagging injuries heal. I hurt my wrist and ankle a few weeks before the Huerta fight and they never got a chance to heal ’cause I kept training. I think the wrist deal is a small fracture, 6 weeks of rest should heal it up. Man, I’m hurting inside real bad tonight, I have so much anger, hate, pain, and confusion inside. And I’m helpless, I’m locked in this box…
I wanna talk to someone, one of my friends, I feel really alone right now. Fuck man, I never cried for shit my last year, and this time it seems I’m always mustering up all I have inside, all my strength, to stop the tears from falling. I’m just so fucking discouraged. Just when I was about to get back on my feet, I got blind-sided by this bullshit. I’m gonna get out again, no money, out of shape, skills rusted, and this time with no wife, nothing. Start from scratch again. It was hard last time, but I had support and I was strong and confident that the B.S. was over, I thought I had a clean slate and I was motivated. Right now I feel really self-destructive, my spirit is weak this time around. I have never understood the idea of “cutting.” You know those people who cut into their arms all the time? Right now I want to cut into my fucking face. I’ve been beating on it with my fists, and it helps relieve some of the pain I feel, but I really wish I could cut it.
I remember watching a documentary about @MikeTyson and listening to him describe why he got his face tattoos and him saying that he hates himself, hates to see himself. Right now, I feel that way. I fucking hate myself. That’s prolly another reason why I’m a bad husband or b/f, also why I hate receiving gifts and avoid holidays… because I fucking hate myself so much and I hate to have someone care about me. I love to care about people though, I want to die for them, those I care for. I wish I could die saving them, so then they could know how much I love them. That’s why I am the best friend – if I have one quality, it is that. Like a Spartan that prays he can die in battle, I wish I could die for those I love. I fucking hate my life. I shouldn’t be alive, I should have died at birth, but the fucking doctor saved me. I’d rather have choked to death on my umbilical cord. Technology/medicine/doctors, they made me live when I shouldn’t have, that’s why my life is fucked, why I don’t fit, I wasn’t supposed to be.
…
I feel better today, but I guess that’s how this year in jail’s gonna be, an emotional roller coaster. Part of me wants to erase what I wrote last night, it’s embarrassing to show my weaknesses, but fuck it, I won’t. And that’s what separate me from the other athletes, from other people in the spotlight, I’m not afraid to be human. I don’t want to be one way in public and another behind closed doors. I want people to be able to relate to me, to see my troubles and be able to compare themselves to me. Maybe my struggles can help someone else in a similar situation. I’m not a faker, I hate liars, hate phonies. Right now, I’m in a struggle, but I’m gonna win. I’m gonna take all of this and bottle it up, rage on it, and unleash it upon my release. Train harder, fight meaner, and let my success be a giant FUCK YOU to all the cowards that keep trying to hold me back. @BellatorMMA Season 7 Tourney can’t come soon enough.
Yes,
I will get back up.
WEEK 5
Wow, is my sleep schedule jacked up! My 1st month here, I’d stay up until 4AM (breakfast) and sleep until 4PM (dinner), only waking at 10AM for lunch real quick. Now, shit, I can’t even pin it down actually but I just woke up at breakfast and I am up! Same shit yesterday. Whatever, it really doesn’t matter, time in jail isn’t real, it’s a time warp. I remember being released after doing that 12 months in San Diego, not a week had passed, and I could hardly even remember jail. It was like it never happened and all I had was the residual memory of some dream. That being said, I think that’s one of the big reasons jail is ineffective as a punishment. I mean, it sucks while you’re in, but BAM, you get out, and it was like it never really happened. I think that’s part of some built-in defense mechanism, something installed deep into our psyche that helps us adapt to any situation, no matter how horrible. Something that helps offset reality, I’d imagine that same tool is what allows POW’s and shit the ability to cope in horrible situations. For example, my 1st 3-4 weeks here were very hard on me but one day I woke up immune, my psyche made the adjustments necessary and now I’m comfortable here. Bad food, no freedom, dirty and without pussy, but comfortable. I’m in the zone now and soon October will come and it will all have just been a dream. Has to be similar for POW’s and cancer survivors. I’ve met guys in jail who have done 16 years in the hole, straight. Got out for 6 months and BAM! are going back for another 10 years. This guy pretty much explained to me exactly what I just said. He told me he got out, and that 16 years felt like nothing, just a dream.
This all being said, our built-in survival mechanism counteracts the effectiveness of jail. The only reason it “worked” for me or others, is because I have something to lose. I didn’t “change,” I don’t believe people do, I’m the same animal. But, being that I didn’t want to lose out on my fighting career, my students, family, and friends, I made the adjustments necessary to ensure I’d not break “the law” again. For me, it was a simple matter of NOT going to bars of clubs. If you’re a 1st time reader asking, “then why are you back in?” Read “Episode 1? and discover I’m here for a very OLD offense, one that occurred before I “learned my lesson.” Anyway, if not for me having something out there, I would not have “changed,” same as 80% of the other parolees don’t change. I especially would have a problem because I, to this day, don’t believe that anything I ever did was wrong. I’m in jail, both times, simply because I’m a professional MMA fighter, and the media/judicial system wanted to make example of me.
Very funny being called a “bully” or “coward” by reporters or judges seeing as my last two “victims” were over 300 lbs. and several inches taller than me. I’d think if I were such a “bully and coward” I’d pick on little/easy guys. Not to mention that both fights were cases of self-defense. If I wasn’t a professional fighter, they’d be saying, “serves that big guy right starting a fight with a smaller fella,” but since I’m a fighter, I get punished for successfully defending myself. Now I’m a 3-time “felon”, a “bully,” and a “coward.” LMAO! Go figure. All I can say to all of that is that our country has gone soft, our laws are no longer moral, and I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. I’m gonna get out, get in shape, and smash all of my opponents. I’m going to use this reservoir of rage I’ve built up to shove it in all these hating mother fucker’s faces, just like I did last time I got out vs. Roger Huerta, but times 10!
Then, as soon as this cowardly ass government stops holding me hostage in this country, against my will (probation), I’m gone! Goodbye USA. I’m going to take myself to a country where they don’t punish men for being MEN. My children will be raised knowing the dangers posed to men by the United States, and God willing, I’ll live to see the day America FALLS. With their gigantic, irresponsible amount of national debt and with the way THEY BULLY the other countries of the world, it is only a matter of time! And at such time, the U.S. government will look around their lands for capable warriors, the same type of capable warriors that initially built America as a haven for MEN, and for FREEDOM. But they will find none! None left to defend her borders because all the good warrior genes have been either destroyed, bred out by the softness of her system, or in cases like myself. G-O-N-E. Gone to live in a real land of freedom, far far away! Fuck you politicians! Fuck you judges and DA’s! Fuck you for raping our country! Fuck you for exploiting police officers, using them to enforce your bullshit, unjust and immoral laws. It’s no different than when Hitler used the brave soldiers and cops of his country to enforce his unjust and immoral laws, NO DIFFERENT! Hitler started out with baby steps, infringing rights a lil’ here, a lil’ there, until BAM! No one knew what hit them. I can only wait and see what ultimate evil lay in wait for the future of America and all of you better mark my words because it’s coming. America can’t keep me down though because I’m not a real criminal! They may have got me for 2 years of my life, but now I’m hip to them. They fucked up in showing me their battle lines… I’m a winner with an OLD spirit, one that’s been in wars since ever since, and I will NOT make the same mistake again!
I WILL GET BACK UP.
P.S. Let me thank all of you fans that have been so kind as to write me letters, send me books or $, I appreciate it all, greatly. Sorry if I can not write everyone back like last time, this jail puts a limit to how many envelopes/stamps we can purchase/week.
Week 6
I just finished reading “Mysticism and the New Physics,” my 17th book in 6 weeks, and now I’m bored again… ugh! There was an interesting chapter about time in that book and I’ve been daydreaming about the subject a lot. In the book, they were saying that it (time) isn’t linear as we have always assumed. In other words, it isn’t past, present, and future, but actually, all occurring simultaneously, just in different dimensions or whatever. I guess this has been common knowledge to all mystics, sages, and holy men of the East forever. And now since quantum physics isn’t adding up as it “should,” Western physicists are being forced to reconsider EVERYTHING. I’ve read in other books that master meditators can access these other dimensions and literally re-live past events. Not alter them, but watch like a movie, more than that though because it’s 1st person point of view, and all their senses participate! Wow! How sick would jail be if I could do that shit!? I’d spend the next 8 months fucking @RileySteele and @AsaAkira and eating pizza! LMAO! You think that’s why all those monks dedicate their lives to living in the middle of nowhere and meditating? They’re just in a constant badass dream and prefer it to the lame real world?
Anyway, since it’s possible to “travel” to these other dimensions, then I wonder if it’s possible to just stay and take over your past self? Fuck it, just leave your present self on auto-pilot. If you think about it that’d be a fountain of youth in a sense. I’d go back to 8th grade right now! Why that age? ‘Cause that’s when all the cool shit starts to happen and when your actions start to count in the long run. Imagine what I’d do to those poor girls my second time around… haha! In all seriousness, imagine how badass of a me I could create. MMA wise, $$ wise, education wise, all of it! Imagine all the people that I could help too.
My best friend in 8th grade, Matt Katz, just died a couple years ago from an oxycontin OD, maybe I could have prevented that? There are definitely a few girls I would have been nicer to, I was a dick to chicks in H.S. and stuff. I know for one thing, if I could go back I’d be nicer to my brother and sister. I was never a bully growing up and easily could have been, but my brother and sister were the exception. I was the devil to them. I’d change that and regret it a lot to this day. All that time I spent breaking them down could have been used to build them up. Shit, maybe my brother and I could have been like the Diaz brothers, that’d be sick. We had a shitty home life with my dad dying and my mother being a drug addict, but it could have been much better if we had stuck together. So let this be a lesson to all of you youngsters out there, be there for your siblings. All of you youngsters need to believe us “adults” when we say, “There’s no rush to grow up, enjoy your youth, ’cause when you get older you’ll miss it.” Shit, I know that I never believed that shit! What a mistake… And I know that I am not alone in that.
Please all you young, stubborn, know-it-all assholes: Enjoy and take advantage of your youth! One more main piece of advice, learn languages, as many as possible! That is the most important way to educate yourself, more than college, more than anything else. Being able to provide that bridge to another culture will bring in way more $ and opportunities than some B.S. degree. Plus, you’ll get mad extra pussy! LOL! Nothing worse than being in a country of fine girls and you can’t even speak to them! That simple fact right there is probably what keeps whore houses alive, right there! LOL!
Anyway, I sat in bed forever last night trying to will myself into another dimension, shit didn’t work. =( I remember, in Season 1, my boy David Lee sent me a book on lucid dreaming, and after much practice, I had a few. For those of you in the dark, that is when you’re dreaming, and then realize it, and take over and do whatever you want! It’s as good as real life, maybe better. You see, your brain doesn’t know what is “real” or what is imagined, same way people can bust nuts in “wet dreams.” I mean, no one touched your weiner in “real life” but the end results proves it must not matter! LOL! Now I’m getting fired up! I need to do my daily exercises again so I can have more of those lucid dreams. Shit, I wonder how long it takes to become a monk? Might be a good retirement plan, spend your last years in dream land. Man! I should have smuggled like 200 Ambiens up my butt and just slept this entire year! Sleeping is the only way to escape from jail and not get in trouble.
(New Day)
The Vegas cops/jail are super shady! A couple of cops had to wrestle a guy down in our module just now. No biggie, but then when that happens they announce “code red,” and madd cops come running in. To assist, yes, but mostly to yell at all of us inmates to, “Get away from your doors! Don’t look! Sit on your beds!” etc. Basically, they forbid us from watching and threaten us with being tazed if we do! Understand this, we are locked in our cells, can’t get out, impossible. But they will unlock our door and shoot us with a tazer if we watch? Basically, what’s really going on is that they are PREVENTING WITNESSES in the event that an officer does something fucked up, like beat on a handcuffed man! Crazy, they weren’t even that shady in Cali. That is a very dangerous thing and I don’t know how they can punish you for simply observing? Someone that is doing something textbook/kosher/legal, should not have a care in the world as to who watches! Just one more example of why I can not and will never respect our crooked ass system or the cops! BTW, whoever got me the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior,” thanks! Great book, everyone should read it.
You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.
But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.
So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.
Week 3
Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes.
(WORST. ROLE MODEL. EVER.)
You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.
But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.
So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.
Week 3
Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes. 1) NEVER utter a single spoken word to any cop/detective/anyone about your case. 2) Take your case to TRIAL! Every time. Don’t trust the crooked system and their plea “agreement.” It’s an agreement between the D.A. and the judge, not you and the ANYONE. DA: “Hey Judge, I got a real weak case on this guy… how about I give him a plea for no jail time, and then at sentencing you just nail his ass and throw him in jail?” Judge: “Sounds good to me. How’s dinner sound Friday night? I hear the new buffet at the Rio is excellent.” LMAO! Sad, but true as a motherfucker.
So anyway, I heard my boy @kendallgrovemma lost his last fight vs. Jay Silva… pisses me off! Keep your head up tall piece of shit! I love you, I’d rather lose a fight than be in this boring spot! Eat some SPAM and pussy for me! Back to jail… Man, some people really lose their fucking minds in this place. I hear random screams in the night, random pounding on doors and walls, yelling… it’s fucked up. Being locked in solitary is no joke, and I only have a year to deal with. Could you imagine these dudes spending 10-15 years this way? Then one day, BAM, you’re free! How the fuck are they supposed to make that adjustment? If they have no family or friends, how do they get back on their feet? Where would you start? I don’t understand it at all. Like, in court they had a lady like 45 years old who is a career thief. They read off like 48 convictions, 9 times to prison, etc. etc. They just gave her another 16 months. Obviously jail ain’t working! These people go in 16 months, come out a couple years, go in 2 years, and on and on.
In jail, they don’t try and rehabilitate you, and if it isn’t an effective punishment, which clearly to some it is not, they continue doing the same shit. They need to find a better solution. Now I’m reminded of another thing that pisses me off: JAIL WORKED FOR ME, I CHANGED MY PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR, why then put me back in for old ass shit, and ruin my progress!? Fucking bullshit! That judge was a fucking idiot with some kind of fucking God Complex. Makes me sick.
Alright, as I explained last episode, the commissary here is stupid. This means that I’m not gonna be able to reply to a lot of you who write to me. I’m only allowed to spend $15/week on snacks/envelopes/soap, so I can’t even get a hold of enough stamps to write my loved ones as often as I’d like. Another bullshit thing about this jail, how can they limit the amount of letters you write? Ridiculous. And of course, people aren’t allowed to send you stamps… WHY NOT?! I’m in a bad mood today. My fucking skin is all dry and I stink! Haven’t been able to purchase deodorant or lotion yet ’cause I spend everything on their 80¢ stamps and snacks. Also pissed there’s nowhere here to do pull-ups. In S.D. I could do ‘em off my bunk, won’t work here. I’m gonna be weak as shit when I get out of here, I remember how horrible I felt last time upon release… still can’t believe I fought Huerta 3½ months later. I’m either gangster as fuck, crazy, or just plain stupid! Maybe I just refuse to let this punk ass government keep me down? Fuck the system, fuck the judge, fuck the D.A. fuck attorneys who don’t care about their clients and fuck all of you who don’t agree!
I WILL GET BACK UP.
WEEK 4
Man! There’s this one crazy obnoxious lil’ black guy in here that yells and screams for hours at a time. Periodically, he’ll stop and say, “If you want me to stop all you gotta do is give me a soup!” LMAO! Dudes actually do it and that’s the biggest problem. Shit, sometimes the cops will give him food just so he’ll shut up. They are encouraging that shit, big time. Reminds me of a time my wife and I went to Sea World and bought a lil’ tray of fish to feed the seals. There were so many seals trying, hoping you’d throw it to them. Some of them developed tricks to gain your attention and ultimately get the fish. I remember one such seal that would raise his one flipper and wave it like a hand. Sometimes he would strike wacky poses. Somehow he figured out a way to get fed while the majority of them just barked at you and stared like puppies. Anyway, I just brought it up because he just walked by my room and started begging for snacks ’cause he’s seen that I had a commissary bag next to my bed. I told that mother fucker, “Hell no!” Fuck him, I don’t even mind when he yells and screams, I actually like listening to people in here go crazy. Weird right?
I’unno, I guess it’s just a sort of entertainment. Plus, there’s this old black guy in here, 60 or so, who I like, and this lil’ idiot loud guy always talks shit to him. One day that old guy was talking to someone about the fluoride in the water, chem trails in the sky, and all the other poisons we are suffering from at the hands of the government to 1. kill us 2. leave us infertile. So anyway, I called him over that day, and now we talk when we can. We are on the same page on a lot of stuff, plus he’s smart, old, and mellow. All the young guys talk about is their crimes, drugs, and dumb shit. FUCKKK! Just got mail and I am not eligible for house arrest. Fucking irritating. Got denied because of some stupid resisting arrest charge from 2002. 10 years ago! I haven’t “resisted arrest” since. Fuck. No shortcut to good food and pussy! Man, I can’t wait until this shit is over! The only change of pace would be if I became a worker. Not sure if I want to be a SLAVE though. What’s the benefit? I don’t know, need to investigate. If I was in the kitchen, obviously extra food. Any other assignment just means less sleep & less reading. As a worker, I’d prolly be able to find somewhere to do pull-ups though, and get to see/feel the sun… Hmmm. I dunno, we shall see.
Just asked a worker at lunch if they get any extra “good time.” He says they get a month extra! I’m gonna see if it’s true and if so, I’ll apply. I’ll go ahead and be a slave if it means getting out September instead of Oct., fuck it.
You know what drives me crazy in here? There’s no clock anywhere. In S.D. there was a clock out in the dayroom on the wall, you could peek out your window and see it. I never know what time it is, drives me crazy! I know we get fed show at 4AM, 10AM, and 4PM, and that’s it. All I’ve been doing since I’ve got here is read and sleep. I’d sleep 18 hours/day if I could. I just want release day to get here ASAP. I haven’t been exercising at all. 1. I feel like shit, depression wise. 2. I’m letting some nagging injuries heal. I hurt my wrist and ankle a few weeks before the Huerta fight and they never got a chance to heal ’cause I kept training. I think the wrist deal is a small fracture, 6 weeks of rest should heal it up. Man, I’m hurting inside real bad tonight, I have so much anger, hate, pain, and confusion inside. And I’m helpless, I’m locked in this box…
I wanna talk to someone, one of my friends, I feel really alone right now. Fuck man, I never cried for shit my last year, and this time it seems I’m always mustering up all I have inside, all my strength, to stop the tears from falling. I’m just so fucking discouraged. Just when I was about to get back on my feet, I got blind-sided by this bullshit. I’m gonna get out again, no money, out of shape, skills rusted, and this time with no wife, nothing. Start from scratch again. It was hard last time, but I had support and I was strong and confident that the B.S. was over, I thought I had a clean slate and I was motivated. Right now I feel really self-destructive, my spirit is weak this time around. I have never understood the idea of “cutting.” You know those people who cut into their arms all the time? Right now I want to cut into my fucking face. I’ve been beating on it with my fists, and it helps relieve some of the pain I feel, but I really wish I could cut it.
I remember watching a documentary about @MikeTyson and listening to him describe why he got his face tattoos and him saying that he hates himself, hates to see himself. Right now, I feel that way. I fucking hate myself. That’s prolly another reason why I’m a bad husband or b/f, also why I hate receiving gifts and avoid holidays… because I fucking hate myself so much and I hate to have someone care about me. I love to care about people though, I want to die for them, those I care for. I wish I could die saving them, so then they could know how much I love them. That’s why I am the best friend – if I have one quality, it is that. Like a Spartan that prays he can die in battle, I wish I could die for those I love. I fucking hate my life. I shouldn’t be alive, I should have died at birth, but the fucking doctor saved me. I’d rather have choked to death on my umbilical cord. Technology/medicine/doctors, they made me live when I shouldn’t have, that’s why my life is fucked, why I don’t fit, I wasn’t supposed to be.
…
I feel better today, but I guess that’s how this year in jail’s gonna be, an emotional roller coaster. Part of me wants to erase what I wrote last night, it’s embarrassing to show my weaknesses, but fuck it, I won’t. And that’s what separate me from the other athletes, from other people in the spotlight, I’m not afraid to be human. I don’t want to be one way in public and another behind closed doors. I want people to be able to relate to me, to see my troubles and be able to compare themselves to me. Maybe my struggles can help someone else in a similar situation. I’m not a faker, I hate liars, hate phonies. Right now, I’m in a struggle, but I’m gonna win. I’m gonna take all of this and bottle it up, rage on it, and unleash it upon my release. Train harder, fight meaner, and let my success be a giant FUCK YOU to all the cowards that keep trying to hold me back. @BellatorMMA Season 7 Tourney can’t come soon enough.
Yes,
I will get back up.
WEEK 5
Wow, is my sleep schedule jacked up! My 1st month here, I’d stay up until 4AM (breakfast) and sleep until 4PM (dinner), only waking at 10AM for lunch real quick. Now, shit, I can’t even pin it down actually but I just woke up at breakfast and I am up! Same shit yesterday. Whatever, it really doesn’t matter, time in jail isn’t real, it’s a time warp. I remember being released after doing that 12 months in San Diego, not a week had passed, and I could hardly even remember jail. It was like it never happened and all I had was the residual memory of some dream. That being said, I think that’s one of the big reasons jail is ineffective as a punishment. I mean, it sucks while you’re in, but BAM, you get out, and it was like it never really happened. I think that’s part of some built-in defense mechanism, something installed deep into our psyche that helps us adapt to any situation, no matter how horrible. Something that helps offset reality, I’d imagine that same tool is what allows POW’s and shit the ability to cope in horrible situations. For example, my 1st 3-4 weeks here were very hard on me but one day I woke up immune, my psyche made the adjustments necessary and now I’m comfortable here. Bad food, no freedom, dirty and without pussy, but comfortable. I’m in the zone now and soon October will come and it will all have just been a dream. Has to be similar for POW’s and cancer survivors. I’ve met guys in jail who have done 16 years in the hole, straight. Got out for 6 months and BAM! are going back for another 10 years. This guy pretty much explained to me exactly what I just said. He told me he got out, and that 16 years felt like nothing, just a dream.
This all being said, our built-in survival mechanism counteracts the effectiveness of jail. The only reason it “worked” for me or others, is because I have something to lose. I didn’t “change,” I don’t believe people do, I’m the same animal. But, being that I didn’t want to lose out on my fighting career, my students, family, and friends, I made the adjustments necessary to ensure I’d not break “the law” again. For me, it was a simple matter of NOT going to bars of clubs. If you’re a 1st time reader asking, “then why are you back in?” Read “Episode 1? and discover I’m here for a very OLD offense, one that occurred before I “learned my lesson.” Anyway, if not for me having something out there, I would not have “changed,” same as 80% of the other parolees don’t change. I especially would have a problem because I, to this day, don’t believe that anything I ever did was wrong. I’m in jail, both times, simply because I’m a professional MMA fighter, and the media/judicial system wanted to make example of me.
Very funny being called a “bully” or “coward” by reporters or judges seeing as my last two “victims” were over 300 lbs. and several inches taller than me. I’d think if I were such a “bully and coward” I’d pick on little/easy guys. Not to mention that both fights were cases of self-defense. If I wasn’t a professional fighter, they’d be saying, “serves that big guy right starting a fight with a smaller fella,” but since I’m a fighter, I get punished for successfully defending myself. Now I’m a 3-time “felon”, a “bully,” and a “coward.” LMAO! Go figure. All I can say to all of that is that our country has gone soft, our laws are no longer moral, and I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. I’m gonna get out, get in shape, and smash all of my opponents. I’m going to use this reservoir of rage I’ve built up to shove it in all these hating mother fucker’s faces, just like I did last time I got out vs. Roger Huerta, but times 10!
Then, as soon as this cowardly ass government stops holding me hostage in this country, against my will (probation), I’m gone! Goodbye USA. I’m going to take myself to a country where they don’t punish men for being MEN. My children will be raised knowing the dangers posed to men by the United States, and God willing, I’ll live to see the day America FALLS. With their gigantic, irresponsible amount of national debt and with the way THEY BULLY the other countries of the world, it is only a matter of time! And at such time, the U.S. government will look around their lands for capable warriors, the same type of capable warriors that initially built America as a haven for MEN, and for FREEDOM. But they will find none! None left to defend her borders because all the good warrior genes have been either destroyed, bred out by the softness of her system, or in cases like myself. G-O-N-E. Gone to live in a real land of freedom, far far away! Fuck you politicians! Fuck you judges and DA’s! Fuck you for raping our country! Fuck you for exploiting police officers, using them to enforce your bullshit, unjust and immoral laws. It’s no different than when Hitler used the brave soldiers and cops of his country to enforce his unjust and immoral laws, NO DIFFERENT! Hitler started out with baby steps, infringing rights a lil’ here, a lil’ there, until BAM! No one knew what hit them. I can only wait and see what ultimate evil lay in wait for the future of America and all of you better mark my words because it’s coming. America can’t keep me down though because I’m not a real criminal! They may have got me for 2 years of my life, but now I’m hip to them. They fucked up in showing me their battle lines… I’m a winner with an OLD spirit, one that’s been in wars since ever since, and I will NOT make the same mistake again!
I WILL GET BACK UP.
P.S. Let me thank all of you fans that have been so kind as to write me letters, send me books or $, I appreciate it all, greatly. Sorry if I can not write everyone back like last time, this jail puts a limit to how many envelopes/stamps we can purchase/week.
Week 6
I just finished reading “Mysticism and the New Physics,” my 17th book in 6 weeks, and now I’m bored again… ugh! There was an interesting chapter about time in that book and I’ve been daydreaming about the subject a lot. In the book, they were saying that it (time) isn’t linear as we have always assumed. In other words, it isn’t past, present, and future, but actually, all occurring simultaneously, just in different dimensions or whatever. I guess this has been common knowledge to all mystics, sages, and holy men of the East forever. And now since quantum physics isn’t adding up as it “should,” Western physicists are being forced to reconsider EVERYTHING. I’ve read in other books that master meditators can access these other dimensions and literally re-live past events. Not alter them, but watch like a movie, more than that though because it’s 1st person point of view, and all their senses participate! Wow! How sick would jail be if I could do that shit!? I’d spend the next 8 months fucking @RileySteele and @AsaAkira and eating pizza! LMAO! You think that’s why all those monks dedicate their lives to living in the middle of nowhere and meditating? They’re just in a constant badass dream and prefer it to the lame real world?
Anyway, since it’s possible to “travel” to these other dimensions, then I wonder if it’s possible to just stay and take over your past self? Fuck it, just leave your present self on auto-pilot. If you think about it that’d be a fountain of youth in a sense. I’d go back to 8th grade right now! Why that age? ‘Cause that’s when all the cool shit starts to happen and when your actions start to count in the long run. Imagine what I’d do to those poor girls my second time around… haha! In all seriousness, imagine how badass of a me I could create. MMA wise, $$ wise, education wise, all of it! Imagine all the people that I could help too.
My best friend in 8th grade, Matt Katz, just died a couple years ago from an oxycontin OD, maybe I could have prevented that? There are definitely a few girls I would have been nicer to, I was a dick to chicks in H.S. and stuff. I know for one thing, if I could go back I’d be nicer to my brother and sister. I was never a bully growing up and easily could have been, but my brother and sister were the exception. I was the devil to them. I’d change that and regret it a lot to this day. All that time I spent breaking them down could have been used to build them up. Shit, maybe my brother and I could have been like the Diaz brothers, that’d be sick. We had a shitty home life with my dad dying and my mother being a drug addict, but it could have been much better if we had stuck together. So let this be a lesson to all of you youngsters out there, be there for your siblings. All of you youngsters need to believe us “adults” when we say, “There’s no rush to grow up, enjoy your youth, ’cause when you get older you’ll miss it.” Shit, I know that I never believed that shit! What a mistake… And I know that I am not alone in that.
Please all you young, stubborn, know-it-all assholes: Enjoy and take advantage of your youth! One more main piece of advice, learn languages, as many as possible! That is the most important way to educate yourself, more than college, more than anything else. Being able to provide that bridge to another culture will bring in way more $ and opportunities than some B.S. degree. Plus, you’ll get mad extra pussy! LOL! Nothing worse than being in a country of fine girls and you can’t even speak to them! That simple fact right there is probably what keeps whore houses alive, right there! LOL!
Anyway, I sat in bed forever last night trying to will myself into another dimension, shit didn’t work. =( I remember, in Season 1, my boy David Lee sent me a book on lucid dreaming, and after much practice, I had a few. For those of you in the dark, that is when you’re dreaming, and then realize it, and take over and do whatever you want! It’s as good as real life, maybe better. You see, your brain doesn’t know what is “real” or what is imagined, same way people can bust nuts in “wet dreams.” I mean, no one touched your weiner in “real life” but the end results proves it must not matter! LOL! Now I’m getting fired up! I need to do my daily exercises again so I can have more of those lucid dreams. Shit, I wonder how long it takes to become a monk? Might be a good retirement plan, spend your last years in dream land. Man! I should have smuggled like 200 Ambiens up my butt and just slept this entire year! Sleeping is the only way to escape from jail and not get in trouble.
(New Day)
The Vegas cops/jail are super shady! A couple of cops had to wrestle a guy down in our module just now. No biggie, but then when that happens they announce “code red,” and madd cops come running in. To assist, yes, but mostly to yell at all of us inmates to, “Get away from your doors! Don’t look! Sit on your beds!” etc. Basically, they forbid us from watching and threaten us with being tazed if we do! Understand this, we are locked in our cells, can’t get out, impossible. But they will unlock our door and shoot us with a tazer if we watch? Basically, what’s really going on is that they are PREVENTING WITNESSES in the event that an officer does something fucked up, like beat on a handcuffed man! Crazy, they weren’t even that shady in Cali. That is a very dangerous thing and I don’t know how they can punish you for simply observing? Someone that is doing something textbook/kosher/legal, should not have a care in the world as to who watches! Just one more example of why I can not and will never respect our crooked ass system or the cops! BTW, whoever got me the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior,” thanks! Great book, everyone should read it.
Dana White spilled the beans to MMAWeekly, most likely because we were totally busy at the time. White stated that, despite the pair’s rough history, Ortiz had more than earned his place amongst the legends of the sport, due in part to his ability to generate interest in MMA during the UFC’s dark days:
He pound for pound was doing some of the most damage at a time when we were hurting. But it’s part of our history the way the storylines played out between me, Chuck and Tito. He’s definitely a part of the history of the sport.
As you can see by the header photo, the beef between White and Ortiz has long since been squashed. The beef between Ortiz and Griffin, on the other hand, has been elevated to levels we previously deemed impossible, as the TUF 1 winner recently went all Jason Miller in a recent interview and claimed that if he were to lose to Ortiz at UFC 148, he would more or less kill himself. At least that’s what we took away from it.
(Compromise: The key to any successful relationship.)
Dana White spilled the beans to MMAWeekly, most likely because we were totally busy at the time. White stated that, despite the pair’s rough history, Ortiz had more than earned his place amongst the legends of the sport, due in part to his ability to generate interest in MMA during the UFC’s dark days:
He pound for pound was doing some of the most damage at a time when we were hurting. But it’s part of our history the way the storylines played out between me, Chuck and Tito. He’s definitely a part of the history of the sport.
As you can see by the header photo, the beef between White and Ortiz has long since been squashed. The beef between Ortiz and Griffin, on the other hand, has been elevated to levels we previously deemed impossible, as the TUF 1 winner recently went all Jason Miller in a recent interview and claimed that if he were to lose to Ortiz at UFC 148, he would more or less kill himself. At least that’s what we took away from it.
I’ve got people asking me, they say, ‘Forrest, it’s Tito’s retirement fight. If you lose to Tito, are you going to retire?’ If I lose to Tito, I’m going to retire from life….seriously.
Although Griffin has hinted that his retirement from MMA is no too far off, retiring from life?! Who then will we have to entertain us after the inevitable apocalypse comes for us all? Please Forrest, we beg you to reconsider. Just in case, you know, this statement comes back to bite you in the ass.
And speaking of asses, former UFC Middleweight champion Frank Shamrock recently made an appearance on Rebellion MMA Radio to take a nostalgic look back at his career. Go figure, the man with the balls to nickname himself “The Legend” made the claim that the UFC Hall of Fame would not be “legit” until he was inducted into it. Modesty, folks, it’s how you succeed in life.
Here’s the whole interview, in which Shamrock discusses everything from the Pacquaio/Bradley travesty to his arm-breaking loss to Cung Le back in 2008, brought to you in astoundingly mediocre quality. The discussion begins around the 2:15 mark.
All praises be to the UG and Fightlinker for unearthing this bit of classic footage, which features none other than co-host of MMA Inside the Cage, Casey Oxendine (a.k.a. Tiki Ghosn’s evil twin brother a.k.a. the most despised man of the CP comments section) one-punch KO’ing a cornerman named Korey Hayes (a.k.a the coach of the Knoxville-based MMA team Cage Killers). The twist here is that Oxendine was not one of the men participating in the fight, but rather the man that was supposed to be keeping order. Given his popularity amongst you Taters, we figured we had to show you this on the off chance that you had yet to see it.
Though neither man has ever truly come forward with what exactly caused the confrontation in the first place, here’s a snippet of what Oxendine posted on the UG back when the incident occurred, detailing the consequences of his actions:
As the referee in this bout, there was alot of controversy as to whether I was justified in striking Mr Hayes during this incident. I wrote an extensive paragraph, stating that it was unlike me to strike another person outside of a combat sports setting. However, I felt as though I was in a dangerous situation and that he would have struck me if I hadn’t acted.
The event would evolve into the centerpiece of the issues concerning the legalization of the sport in [Tennessee]. When I attended the meeting that saw the state athletic commission finally pass sanctioning of amateur MMA, the incident was brought up. They wanted to make sure that if sanctioning were put in place, this sort of thing would not happend again. Everyone involved expressed openly that the incident cast a dark shadow on the sport, and felt we should move forward for the benefit of the sport.
Last night I attended an event at the National Guard Armory of New Tazwell, promoted Warrior Fighting Challenge. Only moments before my arrival, I was informed that ISKA had pulled their sanctioning, due to lack of insurance and security. The promoter insured me that the event would be run by “Sport Jiu-Jitsu” rules. Having attended the meetings of the State Athletic Commission, I was fully aware that all MMA event HAD TO BE SANCTIONED by one of three sanctioning bodies (ISKA, ISCF, and WKA). Realizing my fighters and cornermen could face later repercussions, I pulled them from the event. I arrived at the venue a few minutes later to collect my fighters. I passed the ticket counter and turned to walk down the hallway with Teammate Erick Jordan and my girlfrend. At this point, I noticed Korey Hayes out of the corner of my eye. Considering the nature of our last meeting and in the best interest of the event, I made it a point to avoid all contact. I did not make eye contact and I did not make any move toward Mr. Hayes whatsoever. However, as I turned my back and made my way toward the lockerooms, Mr Hayes struck me with a looping right punch from behind that shoved me into my girlfriend.
More from this story, including an alternate angle of the knockout, await you after the jump.
All praises be to the UG and Fightlinker for unearthing this bit of classic footage, which features none other than co-host of MMA Inside the Cage, Casey Oxendine (a.k.a. Tiki Ghosn’s evil twin brother a.k.a. the most despised man of the CP comments section) one-punch KO’ing a cornerman named Korey Hayes (a.k.a the coach of the Knoxville-based MMA team Cage Killers). The twist here is that Oxendine was not one of the men participating in the fight, but rather the man that was supposed to be keeping order. Given his popularity amongst you Taters, we figured we had to show you this on the off chance that you had yet to see it.
Though neither man has ever truly come forward with what exactly caused the confrontation in the first place, here’s a snippet of what Oxendine posted on the UG back when the incident occurred, detailing the consequences of his actions:
As the referee in this bout, there was alot of controversy as to whether I was justified in striking Mr Hayes during this incident. I wrote an extensive paragraph, stating that it was unlike me to strike another person outside of a combat sports setting. However, I felt as though I was in a dangerous situation and that he would have struck me if I hadn’t acted.
The event would evolve into the centerpiece of the issues concerning the legalization of the sport in [Tennessee]. When I attended the meeting that saw the state athletic commission finally pass sanctioning of amateur MMA, the incident was brought up. They wanted to make sure that if sanctioning were put in place, this sort of thing would not happend again. Everyone involved expressed openly that the incident cast a dark shadow on the sport, and felt we should move forward for the benefit of the sport.
Last night I attended an event at the National Guard Armory of New Tazwell, promoted Warrior Fighting Challenge. Only moments before my arrival, I was informed that ISKA had pulled their sanctioning, due to lack of insurance and security. The promoter insured me that the event would be run by “Sport Jiu-Jitsu” rules. Having attended the meetings of the State Athletic Commission, I was fully aware that all MMA event HAD TO BE SANCTIONED by one of three sanctioning bodies (ISKA, ISCF, and WKA). Realizing my fighters and cornermen could face later repercussions, I pulled them from the event. I arrived at the venue a few minutes later to collect my fighters. I passed the ticket counter and turned to walk down the hallway with Teammate Erick Jordan and my girlfrend. At this point, I noticed Korey Hayes out of the corner of my eye. Considering the nature of our last meeting and in the best interest of the event, I made it a point to avoid all contact. I did not make eye contact and I did not make any move toward Mr. Hayes whatsoever. However, as I turned my back and made my way toward the lockerooms, Mr Hayes struck me with a looping right punch from behind that shoved me into my girlfriend.
We bet you think Oxendine just laid down and let this chump kick his ass in front of his girlfriend, right? Think again, Potato Nation:
He continued forward in an attempt to tackle me to the ground screaming something in the nature of, “you will never hit me again”. I grabbed a single leg and drove myself forward until the onlookers separated us. Mr Hayes then exited the bulding in haste.
When the police arrived a few minutes later, I filed a report. While his best haymaker punch from behind was unable to knock me unconcious, I was left with severe lacerations to my lips that required stitches to close up.
While I am irate at the situation, it is primarily due to the involvent of my girlfriend. I have trained with some of hardest hitters in the sport and getting punched is something I can readily deal with. And although I don’t relish having my mouth split open, I will heal as I always have. When our altercation unfolded in Knoxville 2 months ago, it was handled face to face and without the involvement of any innocent persons. My girlfriend is not a fighter and had no place in that disagreement. I would have never placed his wife, girlfriend, or children in harms way over a personal issue between us. This is truly disgracefull behavior, and was intended to gain revenge for the initial event that was unfortunate and I feel that I had little control over to begin with. While I realize that I made a mistake in turning my back to someone that may have harbored resentment toward me, I truthfully felt that his words as a professional superceded his own egotistical agendas.
Korey Hayes demontrated a vengefull nature that showed in both the meltdowns that followed his fighter’s loss in Knoxville and his unprovoked attack last night. After he had left, I was told by one of his loyal students, that it was “even now, because you hit korey and now he hit you back”. It is disappointing to hear that this instructor’s teachings of ethics consist of, “an eye for an eye”, “set him up to take your best shot when he turns his back”, and “do whatever it takes to get revenge no matter how many innocent people it involves and even if it defaces the integrity of the sport”, display his respect for MMA. I assume he was humiliated by the Youtube fiasco and felt he could even the score by attempting to knock me out and embarass me in return. He was unable to do either. I stand rock steady and continue to move myself, my team, and Tennessee MMA forward.
So to sum things up: say what you want about Mr. Oxendine’s choice of facial hair, but there’s no denying his ability to throw and/or punch. On the other hand, perhaps if he chose a style of facial hair that didn’t make him look like the bad guy from a 1980′s motocross film, he would find himself in far fewer of these situations. On that note, we’d like to congratulate Casey for his induction into the CagePotato First-Punch KO Hall of Fame. Surely this bit of redemption will be all he truly needs to squash this beef.
Beltran broke the news via his Twitter account yesterday evening:
back in the @ufc vs James TeHuna july 11 @FUELTV lets do this!
Since leaving the UFC, Beltran sucessfully made the drop to 205 pounds and picked up a UD win over 4-1 Anton Talamantes in April. The win was apparently enough to earn him a call back from Joe Silva and Co., who might just be considering bringing Chuck Liddell out of retirement at this point to fill the tremendous void left behind by the aforementioned curse of Irvin’s ghost.
Beltran will be given no easy comeback fight in Te Huna, who is currently riding a two fight win streak over Aaron Rosa and Ricardo Romero, with both victories coming by way of uber-violent (T)KO. Te Huna’s only loss in the octagon has been a first round submission compliments of top contender Alexander “Bjones Jones” Gustafsson, so a win over Beltran in impressive fashion would be both his biggest to date and help propel him up the light heavyweight rankings. One thing’s for sure, this scrap is definitely an early front runner for “Fight of the Night” and will more than likely end with someone getting dicknailed.
UFC on FUEL 4 goes down July 11th from the HP Pavilion in San Jose, California.
