(Brandao vs. Siler. Fight starts at the 1:09 mark. Props: IronForgesIron)
After the fiasco that followed the Akira/Neace fight last week, Team Mayhem coach Ryan Parsons wants to give Michael Bisping a piece of his mind. “You’re the kind of guy that can’t keep his motherfucking mouth shut,” Parsons tells him. “Which is why you’re the most hated fighter in the UFC. I get it now.”
“I earn a lot more money than you, motherfucker,” Bisping says, clearly a 1%’er.
“Go spit on somebody,” Parsons says. And so on. Bisping feels that Team Miller should take their loss like men, and that Parsons should fuck off.
The next fight has already been announced as Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) vs. Steven Siler (Miller’s #4). Siler thinks that people don’t believe in his skills, but Team Bisping isn’t taking him lightly, especially because Brandao’s cardio is a little lacking during practice. Still, Bisping is excited to see what the half-crazy Brazilian can do.
And awww, Jason Miller’s dog is at the weigh-ins.
So let’s get to know the fighters a little better. Diego’s father died when he was young. On his deathbed, he asked Diego to take care of the family. And so, Diego did “horrible shit” to make money for his family. He sold drugs, never went to school, etc., but eventually got into MMA in order to avoid dying on the street. Siler really misses his girlfriend. Advantage: Diego.
Let’s just get this over with…
Round 1: It’s a classic gong-and-dash, with Diego sprinting at Siler for a flying knee off the bell. It misses, but he throws a follow-up overhand right that lands flush. They trade leg kicks, then punches. Diego is a little wild, as advertised. Diego lands another overhand right. He fires another flying knee then swarms with power punches until he finds Siler’s off-button. Siler never had a chance. Diego Brandao is in the semi-finals, and it only took him 30 seconds to get there.
Dana White observes that the whole room went silent after Brandao’s TKO victory. Diego put the featherweights on notice. The score now sits at 4-2, Team Miller.
Like a true sportsman, Bisping follows Miller back to the prep-rooms, gloating the whole time. ”I don’t understand what makes Michael such an asshole,” Miller tells us. “Possibly he has a small penis, I don’t know, but…he’s a dick.”
There are two more bantamweight fights left, and Team Bisping debates how they want to arrange things. It’s assumed that John Dodson (Miller’s #1 BW) is a much tougher fight than Roland Delorme (Miller’s #4 BW). So do they use TJ Dillashaw to take out Dodson, or give him the easy fight to ensure his advancement to the semis. It’s clear that Dillashaw wants the easy path, which bothers Josh Ferguson: “If TJ’s so badass, why don’t he prove it and fight John right away, and not be a pussy about it?”
Complicating things is the fact that Roland’s foot has swollen up mysteriously, and he might have a staph infection. Miller sends him to get it checked out, and tries to keep the situation under wraps.
Bisping finally gets to announce a fight selection, and he uses the opportunity to give the assembled fighters and coaches some constructive suggestions on how not to handle yourself. For example: Don’t shoot for a double-leg takedown when your fight is announced. Take your loss like a man. Don’t attack people after the fight is over. Don’t squirt water on people. My God, it seems to go on forever.
Eventually, Bisping announces John “Prince” Albert (his #3 bantamweight) vs. John Dodson. “He’s practically a member of Team Bisping anyway,” Bisping tells Miller. “He didn’t want to be on your team in the first place.” The general consensus is that Albert is fucked. But hey, it’s all in the game. The last fight, obviously, is TJ Dillashaw vs. Roland Delorme, but Roland isn’t around for the face-off. Still, Miller vows that he’ll be there for the fight.
Team Miller is still treating Dodson like a snitch. But how could you stay mad at that face? Dodson’s energy and humor are melting Mayhem’s heart. His gymnastic antics in the gym are impressive — he’s clearly ultra-talented — but he’s also a bit lazy when pressured. As he explains, fighting’s supposed to be fun, and he can’t help goofing around in practice. But he’ll be serious when it’s time to fight. Which it is…
Round 1: Albert throws a high kick. Dodson barrels in with punches. Body kick Dodson. Head kick Dodson. Inside combo again from Dodson. Albert isn’t using his reach; the tiny man is hitting/running without impunity. Dodson with a teep and body shot. They exchange leg kicks. High kick Dodson. Dodson lands a punch from clinch, tosses Albert down, and swarms on him when he gets to his feet. Albert survives the assault and drags Dodson to the mat. Dodson transitions to top position. Albert escapes, gets to his feet. A pair of jabs from Albert land, then a Brazilian kick. Knee to the body from Dodson. Body kick from Albert. They trade punches. Dodson with a head kick and a body kick. Albert with a teep. Dodson returns a body kick. He sticks and moves, a body kick followed by a punch. Albert grabs on in the closing seconds, but Dodson shrugs him off and slugs him with hammerfists to the bell. John Dodson takes the first round easy.
Round 2: Dodson opens with a leg kick. He slips to the mat and gets clipped in the balls, but shrugs it off. Albert lands a body kick. Dodson attacks with punches, working the body. Leg kick Albert, head kick Dodson. Dodson brushes Albert back with punches. Albert jabbing, then a kick to the body as Dodson begins to slow down. Albert tries to grab Dodson’s back but immediately loses the position and Dodson is on top. Albert escapes. Dodson comes in to clinch, Albert flops to his back, Dodson disengages. Dodson punches his leg. Body kick Albert. Albert puts his hands on hips for a split-second, looking to suck some air, and almost gets tagged for it, but he pulls it together and lands a jab. Dodson jumps in and slams Albert down in the closing seconds. Albert looks for a triangle from the bottom but there’s not enough time.
John Dodson wins by unanimous decision (20-18 x 3), but it’s obvious that he coasted throguh that second round. Dodson says he “cheated his way to the semis,” though I still don’t understand how his matchup-leaking benefitted himself.
John Albert is despondent, and cries at the thought of going back to working. “I wanted this to be my life,” he says.
Bisping comes by to congratulate Miller, pretending to be the bigger man, but it doesn’t last. “You won one,” he says. (Actually, it’s five now, but we already know that math isn’t Bisping’s strong suit.) Miller ignores Bisping, standing with his back turned to the Count. “Back off to Bully Beatdown,” Bisping says, walking away. “Well, I know one bully,” Bisping says. And at this point, I think most of us want to see that bully get what’s coming to him.