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[BREAKING] Rampage Jackson Out of UFC 153 With Elbow Injury
(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
