(Little did Stitch know that the worst was yet to come…)
When I was growing up, I was one fearless son of a bitch. This ignorance of one’s mortality that is present in most adolescent boys, combined with a rubbery yet somehow fragile bone structure, led to horrifying injury after horrifying injury. When I was ten, my older brother shattered my collarbone reenacting The People’s Elbow that he had just seen on TV, an injury that has limited my ability to enjoy any Dwayne Johnson vehicle to this day. Two years before that, while reenacting the ending of King Kong vs. Godzilla, my skull was split open by a rock that my younger brother threw just a little too low. Add in more than a half dozen soccer-related broken toes, a dislocated knee and shoulder, and torn hamstring/broken ankle combination that made me yelp like a little bitch with every single step I took in the weeks afterward, and you have a shortened but accurate profile of the kind of damage my body has been through in the short 23 years I have been on this earth.
I’ve seen some injuries is what I’m saying.
But clearly, the various afflictions I have suffered pale in comparison to the twenty or so fighters who were scheduled to compete this summer, only to be struck down by an injury curse the likes of which this sport has yet to see. One of the men who actually managed to compete this summer was former Strikeforce middleweight champion Cung Le, whose nose alone has seen rougher times than most multiple war veterans. After picking up his first UFC win over Patrick Cote at UFC 148, Le apparently injured his foot during some training-related exercise, and decided to videotape himself undergoing an ancient Chinese process (no, not Calgon) in order to help mend his wounded foot.
Video after the jump. For real this time.
(Props to Zeus at MiddleEasy for the find.)
You saw that correctly, apparently bloodletting is still a solid go-to treatment in countries no longer affected by The Plague. I mean, The Plague! Please!
But good Lord, look at that fuckin’ toe. It’s not even the injured part of his foot, yet it looks like Le roundhouse kicked a G-Force Machine. It looks like his foot is trying to impersonate Buddy Christ. It looks like Le lost the original toe, then had a Somalian child soldier who had just been hit with a flash bang sew Fat Bastard’s thumb onto the stump with a shoelace thereafter. Get well soon, buddy.