(“One minute, mom. I’m just getting your gift out of my closet.”)
If you’re like us, you likely haven’t started Christmas, Festivus, Hannukah or Kwanza shopping yet since it isn’t December 24.
There’s nothing worse than that embarrassed feeling you get when a friend or family member shows up at your house unannounced, bearing gifts, and you wrap up one of your half-full bottles of hand lotion or an old alarm clock in newspaper and hope they don’t notice that you forgot to buy them something.
We’ve done you a solid this year, Potato Nation has compiled a list of awesome last-minute gifts you can pick up and have on hand in case someone actually buys you something worth more than a slightly stained coffee mug with your initials on it. The beauty of these presents is that they’re actually items that you can keep for yourself if nobody pays you a holiday visit.
Check them out after the jump.
No Mas’ Chuck Wepner Signature Tee ($34)
Chuck Wepner was an unlikely working class hero who at the age of 36 nearly went the distance with Muhammad Ali, knocking the boxing legend down in the ninth round of their 1975 title fight with a surprise right that sprawled the champ on his back. The Bayonne, New Jersey native, who inspired Sylvester Stallone to pen Rocky, went toe-to-toe with the man formerly known as Cassius Clay, earning him a legion blue collar fans.
Why it’s cool: The shirt is a near perfect replica of the one Wepner wore while training in the Catskills for the Ali fight.
Who to buy it for: Any fight or Rocky fan on your list, including your old man, your best friend and that brunette from 3B who keeps telling you she’ll have to come over some time and watch a fight with you on your new 60″ plasma she saw you struggling out of the elevator with.
Where to get it: Order it online HERE or check out some of No Mas’ other cool shirts like the PRIDE Japan or the Irish Mickey Ward Signature Tee (pictured below).
Headblade S4 Eclipse ($99)
When it comes to shaving heads, Headblade is the Rolls Royce of chrome domes. Whether you’re losing your feathers up top and are finally coming to terms with it or you want to look tough like Vin Diesel, do yourself a favor and pick one of these bad boys up. Your scalp will thank us later.
Why it’s cool: This razor looks like a cross between a Mad Max vehicle and a custom chopper.
Who to buy it for: Your buddy who thinks that an expertly coiffed mohawk will disguise his thinning crown or your teammate who grinds his stubbly head into your face during jiu-jitsu class. Maneuvering one of these sleek stainless-steel dynamos is just as easy in the shower as it is in front of a mirror thanks to a pair of rear wheels and a rubberized handle. There’s no more discreet way to tell your dad to say no to the combover than to pop one of these little beauties in his stocking. You can always say Santa did it.
Where to get it: You can find it at select shaving specialty and drug stores or you can order it HERE.
TrauMMA Combat Roots Shirt
The roots of MMA go back thousands of years and intertwine in several countries and disciplines of fighting arts. The TrauMMA Combat Roots shirt pays subtle homage to those styles.
Why it’s cool: This is probably one of the least offensive MMA shirts on the market. There are no chains, no frothy-mouthed pitbulls and no religious statues — just a simple design that’s open to interpretation the way a good design should be.
Who to buy it for: Anyone on your list who enjoys MMA, but hates douchey MMA clothing. If he or she has fashion taste that’s arrogant and in your face, this isn’t the shirt for them.
Where to buy it: Order it online HERE.
Hayabusa Kanpeki Shorts ($69)
If you’re looking for a functional and durable pair of training and fight shorts that don’t look like board shorts with a logo slapped on the side, the Kanpeki series from Hayabusa is for you. Subtle and well made, these shorts are some of the nicest we’ve seen.
Why they’re cool: Hayabusa’s Kanpeki elite series of product line offers some of the plushest equipment around, including soft top grain leather constructed gloves and protective gear. These shorts feature an innovative tie system with indestructible webbing that makes for a distinct customized fit. Their exclusive mechanical PolyDirectional™ stretch fabric, Guardlock™ inner grip waistband system, reinforced T3 stitching, high tensile strength stretch panel and split side seams combine to create a fight short that is equal parts strength, durability, comfort and functionality.
Where to get them: Select MMA equipment outlets including Sport Chek and National Sports in Canada, as well as online via sites like MMAWarehouse.com.
Jim Beam Devil’s Cut 90 Proof Bourbon ($24 for 750ml)
Jim Beam’s latest whiskey is made by extracting is made by emptying barrels of six-year Bourbon and extracting the remaining liquid from the wood of the cask and adding it to the new Devil’s Cut recipe. The result is a strong aromatic caramel-colored whiskey with wood and vanilla notes.
Why it’s cool: Did you read how this is made and what’s not cool about bourbon?
Who to buy it for: You can pretty much give this to anyone, but we suggest keeping it for yourself to help deal with your annoying relatives over the holidays.
Where to get it: At any liquor store that carries Jim Beam products.
And last, but certainly not least…
The CagePotato MMA Hairstyles T-Shirt ($22)
Trust us, there’s no better conversation starter than one of these beauties and if a girl doesn’t know any of the faceless MMA memes on the shirt, you don’t want to know them anyway.
Why it’s cool: Do we even need to say?
Where to get one: Buy it online HERE.